Scatman Dues (Freaky Florida Mystery Adventures Book 6) by Margaret Lashley (ereader for android TXT) 📕

“I’ve tried that,” Jimmy said. “I haven’t been able to catch her actually using a portal, but I know she leaves the meetings by way of Whirlwind Trail.”

“That must be the general vicinity of the portal,” Grayson said. “Excellent. We’ll go there again tonight and attempt to nail down the location more precisely.”

I blew out a sigh. “Okay. Say you find this wormhole, Grayson. What then? You gonna push Queen Cruller in and slam the door? I mean, what’s to keep her from coming right back out again?”

“Hmm,” Grayson said, wiping salsa from his lips. “I guess we’ll have to cross that Einstein-Rosen Bridge when we come to it.”

I nearly dropped my taco.

How could this possibly get any more absurd?

“Oh, by the way,” Grayson said, taking a slurp of Dr Pepper. “I’ve come up with a name for our mission. I’m calling it, ‘Operation Mercy Flush.’”

And there it is.

Chapter Fifty-Three

“Why, why, why?” Grayson muttered as we left the picnic table and walked back to the RV.

I shrugged. “I ask myself the same thing all the time, Grayson. Why did I leave Point Paradise? Why did I think I wanted to be a private eye? Why did I just spend the afternoon with a bunch of nerds, discussing how to send Malibu Bimbo back through a wormhole?”

And, most of all, why do I still find you attractive when you’re such a complete and utter weirdo?

Grayson eyed me sideways as he opened the RV door. “What I meant was, you were right to question the mission, Drex. Why now? Why Wade? Why this park in the middle of nowhere?”

“Oh,” I said, shriveling inside. “Uh ... I better go check on Earl.”

I’D RETREATED TO THE underbelly of the smelly RV, hoping to avoid Grayson after our spat. But it hadn’t worked. After listening in on Earl through the bedroom door, I turned to find him standing right behind me.

“How’s the patient?” he asked.

“Still snoring,” I said, and handed him his stethoscope. I looked up and offered him a weak smile, worried he’d been offended by me questioning well ...everything.

“Good. Let him sleep,” he replied.

Grayson’s tone sounded normal, as if my confession had meant nothing to him. Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe Grayson really didn’t care one way or the other how I felt about the mission or about him.

“Hopefully he’ll be back to himself in the morning.” Grayson said, opening the window above the banquette to let in some fresh air. “There’s got to be something I’m missing.”

That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one.

I decided to let our disagreement go. I perked up and played along. “What do you mean, something’s missing?”

“Portals require massive amounts of energy to work. That’s why Paulides believes location is so important. His map shows that nearly every one of the park disappearances he’s investigated occurred in an area where quartz boulders and mountains were present.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, wincing against the odor. I cracked open the side door. “You said quartz is a natural conductor, right?”

“Yes.” Grayson walked over to the kitchen window. “And as such, it can also store energy. That’s why Paulides’ crew was able to pick up evidence of energy fluctuations around the sites of some of the vanishings.”

“I remember that,” I said. “He thought those fluctuations could be the potential fingerprints of portals, right? Tears in time and space?”

Grayson’s cheek dimpled. “Correct.”

I shook my head. “But like you said, Florida doesn’t have any quartz. So how can it be the site of a portal?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

Grayson turned toward the kitchen sink. Suddenly, he slammed his fist down on the counter. “Dammit, Drex!” he yelled, spinning around to face me. “I thought I told you to clean those test tubes.”

I scowled at the dirty vials I’d left in the windowsill for two days. “I’m not your maid, you know!”

“I know that!” Grayson’s shoulders slumped. “Sorry, but this case has me stumped. I really hoped I could count on you.”

He turned around and picked a test tube out of the rack. “I didn’t think it was such an unreasonable request. You simply take the cap off like this, then put it under the tap—”

“I know how to wash a damned test tube!” I yelled. “I’m not an imbecile!”

Grayson turned and held up a dirty test tube for my inspection. “Then why haven’t you—”

“Because Earl’s pee is in them!” I bellowed.

Grayson froze. His mouth fell open.

“That’s it,” he muttered.

My heart pinged.

Crap! Has Grayson finally had enough of me?

“Look,” I said. “I’m sorry. I’ll clean the stupid ... I mean, I’ll wash the test tubes, okay?”

“No.” Grayson said, shaking his head. “That’s it.”

I cringed. “I’m fired?”

“What?” Grayson asked. His eyes shifted from the test tube to me. “No, Drex. Pee.”

My eyebrows rose an inch. “You want me to pee for you? Sorry, but I don’t play that—”

“No!” Grayson yelled. “Pee. That’s the answer!”

“Great,” I said, smiling weakly.

The answer to what?

Chapter Fifty-Four

Despite the lingering outhouse aroma, Grayson had seated himself at the banquette. Hunched over a microscope, he was examining the contents of one of the dirty test tubes I’d been too lazy to wash.

As I tried to sneak out the door, he looked up from the scope. “It all makes sense to me now.”

I turned around. “Well, that makes one of us.”

“Here. Have a look.”

Grayson scooted over and patted the seat beside him. I slid into the booth next to him and cautiously placed an eye on the microscope viewfinder. A weird, black, honeycomb-like mesh came into focus.

“What is that?” I asked.

“Black phosphorous,” Grayson said. “Preserved by Earl’s urine and crystalized by the sun.” He shook his head and laughed. “I probably wouldn’t have figured it out without you two.”

I peered back into the microscope at the odd, interlocking cell-like structures. “Figured out what?”

“Everything,” Grayson said. “Including why Queen Kristie picked an abandoned phosphate mining area to set up her scheme of taking over the world. And where she’s getting