Apocalypse: Fairy System by Macronomicon (fox in socks read aloud txt) 📕

Reluctantly, Jeb put his hands up.

“Hey, I’ll be the first one to congratulate you guys on a well-executed ambush…but you’ve got a bit of a problem with your fields of fire.”

“Oh?” the tallest kid, wearing a Rufio-looking mohawk, asked.

“In a circular ambush like this one, you all would want to be higher than me so that your bullets have no chance to hit each other. If you miss, there’s a chance you hit your friends here.”

Jeb motioned with his thumb to the two kids standing in front of the Barnes & Noble. “When we’re all at the same height, it gets really dangerous.”

Rufio held out a palm and motioned for the kids to get down. They knelt and aimed up at Jeb's face. Suddenly their bullets no longer stood much chance of hitting friendlies.

Clever kid.

“Give us the gold, old man.”

“I’m thirty-seven.”

“What?”

“I’m thirty-seven. I’m not old.”

“Just put the case down and walk away. We don’t wanna shoot you.”

“Then don’t shoot me.” Jeb glanced around. “You realize there are more people right around the corner, right? I don’t know what’ll happen if you start popping off rounds in here, but it won’t be good for you.”

Rufio stepped forward and pressed the gun to Jeb’s chest.

“Last chance.”

Hmm. Jeb wasn’t inherently immune to bullets, his Body still being within human limitations, and they weren’t the kind of people he could go murderhobo on, given their age.

He could try to flip the safety of their guns on, but there were nearly a dozen of the little bastards, he could only do two at a time, and if they caught on before he was done, there was a good chance he would get shot.

Or worse, a child could get shot.

Lesson one, defuse the situation.

“Okay, you got me,” Jeb said, sliding the bulb strap off his shoulder and lowering them slowly onto the ground, keeping his other hand raised as he did so. “Can you at least tell me where the human selling magic stuff is…you know, assuming you didn’t make him up?”

“Northwest side of the city, up against the coast. He’s got a shop and temp agency called Working Stiffs. You can’t miss it.”

Rufio flicked toward the door with his gun. “Now get lost, pops.”

“You know you guys would get a terrible Yelp review for this,” Jeb said, hands up as he backed away, out of the circle, armed children streaming around him, clustering around the bag of cash.

“We welcome repeat business. Come back if you’ve got cash to burn,” Rufio said with a grin before dismissing him entirely.

“I might take you up on that,” Jeb said, picturing his sweet kidnapping revenge.

Jeb backed away slowly as Rufio picked up the case, surrounded by the grasping hands of his henchmen. The farther away Jeb got, the less chance they would hit him or each other.

“Calm down, calm down!” he said, holding the case up and out of the reach of the smaller children. “We’ve gotta get this out of sight before somebody—”

Yoink. Jeb infused the case of gold with a strand of Myst and yanked it straight up, out of the boy’s palm.

The children watched, dumbfounded as the case sailed straight up, hovering ten feet above them in the high ceilings of the semi-abandoned shopping mall.

Rufio, though. Rufio’s gaze followed the strand of orange-gold Myst back to Jeb, his eyes widening.

Jeb whooped as he drew the satchel zipping through the air towards himself, catching it like a football before diving around the corner.

For being totally armed children, there was a hell of a lot less gunfire than Jeb had expected. None, actually. It’s possible that Rufio was aware giving children loaded guns in a crowded mall was a stupid idea, Jeb thought as he clomped full speed toward the exit.

Still, Jeb would rather not test it.

The click of his wooden leg echoed through the halls for a moment before the sound of screaming children and squeaking sneakers against polished concrete echoed from behind him.

Rufio was the first one around the corner, and Jeb whipped out a strand of telekinetic force, aiming to pull back the slide on the kid’s…

Where’s his gun?

Rufio thrust his hands forward and Jeb spotted a bit of green Myst condensing around the kid’s palms before a blast of slime squirted out at fire-hydrant pressure, covering every inch of the hall Jeb was standing in, including Jeb himself.

Whoa, shit! Jeb’s foot and peg flew out from under him as every surface in the mall’s hallway suddenly became slippery as hell.

Jeb’s pegleg, held onto his stump by tension, slipped free and went spinning off into the distance while Jeb barely managed to hold onto the gold, the leather case trying to squirt out of Jeb’s grasp at every opportunity.

These kids are trying to make me work for it.

Jeb was spinning at stomach-churning speeds, sailing down the hall. In a matter of seconds, he would pass by the door leading to the parking lot.

...And there it goes.

“Oof!” Jeb rammed into a drinking fountain, the wind knocked out of him by his own mass. He unclenched his eyes and spotted the kid bum-rushing him, heedless of the omnipresent film of slime.

Rufio lunged for the case on the way past, a narrow band of slime disappearing in front of the kid’s grasping hand.

Nope.

Jeb wasn’t strong enough to lift himself telekinetically, but the non-friction of the surroundings made that a non-issue.

He yanked himself to the side, snatching the cash out of range and sliding toward the exit like a luge rider.

One of the kids near the other side of the hall tried to jump for him, but slipped and face-planted on the ultra-slippery floor.

Jeb squirted out the big double doors into the light of day, yelping when