Deceptive Truth: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 4) by Olivia Jaymes (reading women .txt) 📕

"Lady, I am in. Let's do this."

Two hours later, Jenna had a huge pile of pretzels and cookies in front of her while Eli's pile was rapidly dwindling. Because they'd wanted to stay friends, they'd decided to forgo betting actual cash money and used the snacks in the cupboards instead. Pretzels were a dollar and cookies were two dollars. While she was having a good time, she had a feeling that this man was perhaps letting her win. He didn't seem the type to bet recklessly but he had more than a few times.

"I think you're letting me win," she finally said, raking in another pot. He'd bet on a loser hand that he should have folded right away. "You don't have to do that. I'm not going to wither away and cry if I don't win. I promise. Maybe we should play blackjack. It's harder to throw that game."

Eli bit into one of his remaining cookies. "These aren't too bad. You can't go wrong with chocolate chip."

"I'm more of a snickerdoodle kind of gal but I do like chocolate chip. And oatmeal."

"Oatmeal is good. But not with raisins."

"I hate raisins too."

They'd pretty much exhausted the topic of cookies. Eli was trying to be kind to her, which she appreciated, but he didn't have to walk on eggshells. If he was going to help with the investigation, she didn't want him feeling like he couldn't speak freely.

"I'm okay now," Jenna said. "I was upset before but I'm good. I'm guessing that Knox filled you in on our visit to Brett Hedgcock. It was so incredibly strange. It messed with my head a bit."

"And your heart, I would imagine," Eli replied with a gentle smile. "Having your sister disappear one day and then wondering what happened all these months cannot have been easy for you or your family. You're obviously a strong person, Jenna."

"I'm trying to be." She paused not sure if she could put her feelings into words. "It was all just so surreal. He talked about Lori like...she's still alive. And I hope that she is, but..."

"But you're losing hope?"

"Yes, I'm losing hope."

It was hard to admit. She'd said it out loud before but always in the back of her mind was a pinprick of hope. Did she even still have it? To be honest, she'd been thinking about Lori as passed on for awhile now. She wanted to believe, be optimistic. But she also didn't want to be a fool, living in an unreality. It would only make things worse down the line.

"It's hard to lose our hope," Eli said, his expression changing. "Sometimes hope is all that keeps us going, getting us out of bed every day. Even when all we want to do is pull the covers over our heads and go back to sleep. Because when we're asleep we can pretend that all of it isn't happening."

"You sound like you know this from experience."

Leaning his elbows on the table, he bit into another cookie. "My wife Debra passed away several years ago. Cancer. Some days hope was all I had to keep me going."

Shit, she shouldn't have asked. That was...personal.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry," she repeated, her cheeks growing warm.

He shook his head. "You didn't ask. I told you. It's not a huge secret or anything. I don't talk about it much, but I'm at a point where I can. This job, actually, is supposed to be my new start in life. New job, new surroundings. But I'll never forget Debra, and you won't forget Lori either. She'll always be alive inside of you."

He touched his chest right over his heart. Jenna’s throat tightened painfully as new tears burned the back of her eyes.

"I don't want to forget her but sometimes...sometimes I get busy and life happens and then I realize I haven't thought about her in a whole day or even two days. Then I feel like shit because she's my sister and I love her. How can I possibly forget about her? I must be a terrible person."

Eli reached across the table and patted her hand. "You're not even remotely a bad person. It's okay to not think about Lori every second of every day. I don't know anything about your sister, but I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you that she wouldn't want you to put your life on hold for her. I know that's what Debra would have said. In fact, she told me that if I just laid around the house mourning for her she'd be really disappointed in me. She said that I had to live my life or it would all be a waste. She was wise like that. She always knew things that I didn't know."

"She sounds like a smart woman."

He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "Now that might be debatable considering she ended up marrying me, but I always thought she was a smart one. Pretty too. Maybe she just took pity on me. I had to ask her twice to marry me before she said yes. The first time she said that we should think about it because we were so young."

"How old were you?"

"Nineteen. She was eighteen. I was going into the military and I didn't want to leave her behind. She eventually said yes but I had to do some begging. Don't regret it, though. It was worth it. There's nothing better than marriage when it's to the right person."

"And if it's the wrong one?"

"I would imagine