Apocalypse: Generic System by Macronomicon (shoe dog free ebook TXT) 📕

stone being ripped to shred by claws behind them. Imagine what a living chainsaw would sound like, and you’ve got an idea.

It wasn’t long after that they started running into trouble. The monsters started nipping at their heels.

Whenever a creature caught up with them, Ron would have some of his zombies hold it in place while they kept going.

Stopping to fight the creatures would get them bogged down faster than you could say it.

They were losing four or five zombies here and there, but they managed to put pursuit behind them after a while.

They were passing north of the clearing Jeb had woken up in when a fluttering faerie slammed into the side of Jeb’s head like a bird against a windshield.

Thump!

Jeb felt tiny hands grab onto his ears as Smartass dominated his field of vision, hovering barely an inch away from his nose.

“M&M Lord! You have to help us! Giant monsters are eating all our babies!” Desperation and panic were carved on the little creature’s face. He didn’t really have any choice but to see it.

Jeb didn’t have to help them, but he sure as shit owed the fluttering idiots a lot more than the shoeful of M&Ms he’d given them.

“Keep going west,” Jeb said, rising into the air. “I’ll catch up.”

Chapter 14: Gigantism is in the eye of the beholder

“This way!” Smartass shouted, streaking off into the distance.

Jeb put a windshield in front of him and blasted through the woods, swerving around massive trees like a certain landspeeder in a popular film.

The woods stretched out around him as he put on speed, looking almost like a hallway as he whipped through the woods.

The hallway outside the room.

The thought began burrowing its way in through the top of his consciousness. The canopy above him began to seem jagged and ominous. His nerves felt like they’d been dipped in ice.

No time for that bullshit! Baby faeries! If I’m dead, I’m dead, goddamnit!

Jeb thrust the dark thoughts aside with a shout and put on more speed, his thumb unconsciously tracing the scar on his hand.

He reached the former safe-zone in less than a minute, coming to a hard stop in the middle of the clearing, the wind swirling to catch up with him.

What he saw…was less than impressive.

“Shoo, shoo!” the Faeries were swarming around the upper branches of their oak tree, their fluttering wings nearly preventing him from seeing the…squirrels being harassed from branch to branch by angry faeries, their cheeks stuffed with nuts.

To be fair, the squirrels were bigger than the faeries, but Jeb had been expecting more from the word ‘giant’.

“Smartass, your young don’t grow inside acorns, do they?” Jeb asked.

“No, why would they do that?” Smartass said, glancing at him sideways, brow raised. “Those acorns are the pride and joy of our tribe. We use them to make tools, clothes, poop bombs and so on. Their tough shells and delicious insides are absolutely essential for every convenience of the modern faerie.”

Jeb’s eyes narrowed as he watched the faerie’s gaze drift away, expression guilty.

“You invested all your money in the acorn business, didn’t you?”

“Please!” Smartass said grabbing him by the ear and kneeling on his shoulder. “They’re eating all my stock! If you don’t help me, I’m ruined. Ruined!”

Jeb was tempted to help, except for the fact that once he did, he would be opening the door to an ocean of stupid requests.

“Maybe next time you’ll diversify,” Jeb said, keeping his heart as ice cold as possible while his one-time apprentice bawled his eyes out.

Wait a minute. They have telekinesis too. From what he could remember they could at least move a rough shovelful of it.

“Can’t you use magic?” Jeb asked.

“No, you don’t understand!” Smartass said. “These furry destroyers are far too perceptive and fast for our magic to catch them! You’re the only one powerful enough! Please, catch them with your gigantic sausage fingers, or grab them with your super-duper magic!”

“Listen,” Jeb said, gently brushing Smartass off his shoulder. “It’s not safe for me to be here, so I’m gonna catch up with the rest of my group. If there’s a life-or death emergency, don’t hesitate to call.”

Smartass opened his mouth to respond when a girl’s scream tore through the clearing.

Jeb whipped his head around and spotted Casey The Pregnant Teen stumble out of the woods, cradling her stomach as she waddled at top speed. He didn’t know if it was because she was pregnant, or because she hadn’t gotten any levels, but it wasn’t very fast.

A spine whipped out of the woods and embedded in the young girl’s shoulder, whirling her around and sending her toppling to the ground. She desperately caught herself on her hands a moment before she landed on her stomach, a scene that nearly made Jeb bite a hole in his pants.

Every human instinct in his body was telling him this:

Pregnant women get a free pass.

Smartass’s jaw dropped as Jeb lunged forward to help Casey.

I didn’t make the rules for humans, Jeb thought as his body picked itself up and flew forward at max speed, arriving beside the girl with the oversized belly.

Jeb didn’t have time to dick around. He didn’t know what the situation was, or whether or not the spine was poisoned.

He knelt down beside the black haired teen and made a fist around the inch wide spine perforating her shoulder, brutally yanking it out with a spray of blood before she could realize what he was doing.

Like ripping off a bandaid.

“AAH-“

Jeb siphoned out a huge gob of Myst and channeled it through his cane, keeping his eyes on the forest. The cane created a radius of healing energy that seemed to soak into Jeb’s bones. Naturally the expectant mother was in the area.

“Aah?”