The Hardest Cut by Jamie Bennett (book club recommendations .TXT) 📕

here and sit it out.”  He turned, shot Ben another look, and left, stomping and muttering.  I watched the door close and I couldn’t even hold onto the pitiful smile on my face.

“See?  He didn’t cut you because of an injury.”

I looked up at Ben.  “No, he didn’t.  Not yet.”  I started toward the door.  “See you later at your house.”  I had to be alone, because I couldn’t hold these tears back much longer and I didn’t want to cry where my coaches might see.

“Hang on.  I want you to come to the trainer with me.  She’s here at the stadium this morning and she has time to look at your ankle.”

“I don’t think I need that.  Just more rest.”  I took another hop towards the door.

“Are you afraid she’s going to give you bad news?”

Yes.  I stopped moving because my left leg was tired from all the extra weight it had been pulling.  “I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Then let’s get that confirmed.”  Ben put his arm around my waist to get me through the door.  “How did you get around this weekend?”

“I crawled, mostly.”  And I was doing it again, I realized.  No, not crawling—I was snuggling up against him, just like I’d done when he helped me in his driveway, and it felt so cozy and nice.  Much too cozy, since he was my boss, and I had just been telling Hallie that I wouldn’t mix up my relationships.  Not again.  I pulled away a little but his arm tucked me back against his body even more tightly as I limped along.

And before I knew what he was doing, Ben had picked me up.  “Until we get you some crutches, this is better than crawling,” he mentioned.

I held myself as stiffly as I could so I wouldn’t touch him any more than necessary.  I tried very hard not to put my arms around his neck, bury my face against his skin, and bawl.  “Thank you,” I said.  “I was pretty tired.”

“I could see that.  You looked like you were just about done when we walked into the studio.”

Did I?  “I thought I was hiding it ok.”

“I don’t know about other people noticing, but I could tell.  I was wondering if you had gone to the practice.  Jim said he was going to talk to the cheerleaders and I tagged along to see.”  He looked down at me.  “I thought you’d probably just tell me you were fine if I texted you.  I needed eyes on the issue.”  He shifted his arms so that I tilted closer to him and I let my head rest on his shoulder.

“Maybe it’s not actually fine,” I admitted.

“Maybe not.”

That was what the trainer said, too, after Ben had to boost me up onto the table for her to examine me.  “You were dancing on this?” she asked, and shook her head.  And then she announced that it would be a matter of weeks, not days, until I was back on it.

“No.  I’m sorry to argue, but I have to,” I said, and the trainer got a very resigned expression, as if she’d heard that story before, and went into a speech about recovery and listening to medical advice.  When she wound down, I apologized again.  “I’m sorry.  I know you’re the expert.  It’s just…” I protested.  That started speech number two until she was called away to deal with a text from a player spending his off-season in Arizona and wondering about a sore knee.  She sent in an assistant with some crutches, but like everything else in the training rooms, they were football-player sized.

“I know that wasn’t what you wanted to hear,” Ben said.  He tilted his head, trying to see my face, but I had pulled out my ponytail so that I was well-covered by a golden-brown sheet of hair.  “Gaby?”

I nodded and slid off the table, using the oversized crutches for support.  “See you at your house,” I said, but it came out of my mouth very squeaky and shaky.

“Are you crying?”

I shook my head, making more tears spill down my cheeks, glad that I had thick hair to shield me from his view.

“Those crutches are too big for you.  I’m going over to the training facility and I’ll look—”  He reached with one finger and pulled back my hair to see my face.  “You are crying.  Gaby, this is going to be ok.”

I nodded now.  “I know.  I hear a lot of horrible stories at night and this really isn’t anything in comparison.  Not even a tiny little bit of a problem compared to what other women have.”  That didn’t make me stop crying, however.  “Or what happened to you, losing the love of your life.  I understand that it isn’t really anything, but it feels big to me right now.  I wanted it a lot…”  I had to stop talking.  “Ok, bye.”  I shifted my weight forward on the crutches and catapulted myself out of the door.

“Let me help you,” he told me, but seriously, if he touched me right now, I was going to lose it and cry all over him, and probably beg him to love me or something.  Which was crazy talk, and showed how worried I was about the cheer squad, that was all.

“No, I’m fine!  Totally fine, now.  I just had a moment.  Thanks for bringing me to the trainer, I really appreciate it.  I have to hurry and drop my car off with Caitlyn’s dad.  She texted me to bring it over.  He’s going to get the rest of the puke out so I can close the windows, and maybe he can look at the squished part in the front, too!  So everything is great.  I’ll see you later.”  I moved even faster on the crutches, throwing myself forward and flying through the air.

Ben was still faster on those long legs he had.  He beat me to the door to the outside and opened it.  “We’re in a different part of the