Field of Blood by Wilson, Eric (pdf e book reader .TXT) 📕

top, short enough to leave her lower back and angel wings showing. A silver-studded belt held up black zippered cargo pants, which concealed the dagger strapped to her lower right leg. Her boots, black choker, and ruby orb earrings completed the ensemble.

Keep wearing them. One day I’ll find you.

She trailed her mother around the side of the house, where a pitcher of ice water and lemon waited on a doily atop an old apple crate. They took seats in wooden rocking chairs, and Nikki poured two glasses.

Gina tugged on the bottom of her shirt, trying to cover her belly.

“Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m fine,” she said.

“Is your stomach upset? Would you like me to get you something for it?”

The truth was the pregnancy had been rough so far. Gina expected the morning sickness, but this life inside seemed to be a tormented, rest-less soul.

“Water’s fine.” Gina drained a mouthful. “Thanks.”

“What’s the purpose of this meeting, darling? I do have a session to prepare for, this coming weekend.”

“Straight to the point, huh? Good. I don’t want to waste any more time on this than you, so I’m just going to say it. Okay?”

Nikki rocked back, eyes leveled over the mocha as she sipped.

“The thing is, well, Jed and I have been together for almost two years now. He gets me. He doesn’t try to fit me into a box. He just lets me be who I am. I know you’re not a big Jed fan, but he’s a good guy—”

“Barely out of his teens. Is he even legal to buy alcohol?”

“He’s legal and responsible. What’s your point? You want me shacked up with some dude in his thirties?”

“I think that, yes, you’re mature enough to aim a little higher.”

“When I’m around you, I don’t feel mature at all.” Gina tapped her boot against the chair. “It’s like I’m this little girl, falling back into the old ruts of communication. I don’t want to live in the past—that’s the point. I have a future. A whole life ahead.”

“More than you know.”

“I can’t live your life, Nikki, or the life you wish you’d had. I’ve got to follow my own path. You know, learn from my own mistakes and all that.”

Her mother took another contemplative sip.

“True, Jed and I don’t have a lot of money, but we’re getting it done. I’m enrolled in the insurance at my work, and so far we’ve both been free of any medical issues. There’s a lot that’s on our side, even if you don’t like the fact we’re living together.”

“There are consequences, Gina, when you surrender yourself to another person.” Her mother’s lips turned down, and she rubbed at her eyes. “You give a portion of yourself away. And take from them, as well. Sometimes you haven’t the faintest idea of the repercussions.”

“I understand all your reasons, but—”

“Understanding,” Nikki cut in, “is a place from which a person acts.”

“Profound. But do I look like a customer from one of your sessions?”

“Life students. Not customers.”

“Nikki? Are you in there? I’m trying to talk with you, just mom and daughter.”

“You have my complete attention.”

“You’ve always disapproved of me,” Gina said, “and I can’t carry that weight anymore. It’s too toxic. I don’t mean to be disrespectful—okay, maybe a little—but how else am I supposed to shake loose from you? Seriously.”

“You don’t need my approval. You’ve made that clear.”

“But I do. That’s what’s so sick about this.”

“Darling, if you’re referring to the cuttings—”

“What? Those? Nahhh, that was just healthy learning there.”

“Perhaps I misjudged the effects they would have on our relationship. You were so acquiescent as a child that I assumed you were in line with my intentions.”

“I was a little girl. What was I supposed to do?” Gina looked out from the porch, to a line of green-leaf trees sprouting along the steep ascent of Lookout Mountain. “You were my entire world.”

“That, I will never be. That’s what pains me the most.”

“It’s not like I don’t love you. That’s not what I’m saying.”

“I’ll be gone one day, an inescapable fact.” Her mother seemed caught up in her own melodrama. “And you’ll keep on, slowly forgetting that I ever existed. If you only had a child of your own, you might begin to understand how—”

“I’m pregnant.”

Nikki froze.

“That’s what I came to tell you. Jed and I are having a baby.”

Brightness flickered in Nikki’s eyes as they fixed upon her daughter, then dimmed until nothing but fearful determination remained. “You’re certain of this, Regina?”

“Yes. For heaven’s sake, yes.”

Nikki indulged herself in another drink, then put the cup down, dabbed at her lips, and tilted her head back until her hair was a veil of black trailing along the back of the rocking chair. She aimed her next words at the roof over the veranda. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

“Who does?” Gina said. “Guess I’ll make it up as I go.”

“If only it were that easy.”

“C’mon. It’s what you did, isn’t it?”

Nikki gave her a censuring stare. “Yes, and I ruined so much.”

This admission was too broad, too nonspecific, for Gina to be moved. Confession was rooted in self-disclosure. In gritty exposure. What had her mother’s statement revealed beyond a vague identification with the world’s grief at large?

“At least my baby will have a father around,” Gina said. “Jed’s pro-posed. He says he wants us to do this together.”

“Have you given him an answer?”

“We’re thinking maybe sometime after Labor Day.”

“Is that meant as a joke?”

“No. Would you listen, please? I don’t want all the hype, just some-thing simple. We both agree we’re not starting this marriage in debt.”

Nikki tilted her head. “I do have the wherewithal to lend a hand.”

“Right. And you’d do that? Even for Jed?”

“I’m not certain. Then again, you haven’t asked yet, have you?”

Gina tried to restrain herself. “Thank you, but we’re going to do this on our own, free and clear, with nothing dangling over our heads. And we’re going to have this baby. We’re thinking we might even change locations. Find someplace else to raise