The Knapthorne Conspiracy by Malcolm Ballard (best english novels for beginners txt) 📕

“It’s alright for you to say that, darling. Look at you! You’ve got top of the range equipment. Body, face, legs, you name it.  Me? I’m like something from the bargain basement. You’re the Roller, I’m the V-Dub Beetle so don’t blame me for tinkering with the bodywork and the engine, ok?” Put like that, Bella found it difficult to argue. Earlier that morning, after breakfast, when they had each had a shower and got dressed, Bella had given Jane a conducted tour of the cottage and garden. As they had sat at the table in the kitchen, afterwards, enjoying a leisurely coffee while Jane plied her with the latest industry gossip, Bella sensed that she seemed inordinately pleased with herself and guessed that work must be going really well. Only when they were well into their walk did everything fall into place.

“When am I going to meet him then?”

“Probably when he’s got a ring on his finger and we’ve had our first two kids, I should think. I might consider it safe, by then.”

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Village life was proceeding at its usual pace as they entered the main street from the pathway that ran alongside the churchyard. The place had a lazy, slow-motion feel to it after the hectic chaos of London and Jane stopped, to look up and down the street, as if not quite being able to believe what she was seeing. Bella knew the feeling from her first visit.

“So this is the metropolis, eh?” It was as if she were letting the atmosphere seep into the pores of her skin. “I could handle a bit of this. Definitely.”

“Is that the Bentley seal of approval then?” Bella asked, taking her arm. “Come on, I’m thirsty. You might change your mind once you’ve seen the pub.” She could imagine the reaction that Jane’s outfit would cause and found herself quite looking forward to it.     Â

“I can’t believe it’s as bad as you say it is.” The weight of conviction was absent from Jane’s words, as they walked along the pavement to the car park of The Lamb and the door to the saloon bar.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out and that’s to see for yourself. After you.” Bella pushed the door open to allow Jane to enter and the shorter woman passed her with a none too confident look on her face.

“You’re not going to run off and leave me, once I’m inside, I hope?” she said, over her shoulder.

“Not when you’re as thirsty as I am. I’m right behind you.” Her words died away, swallowed in the utter silence that greeted them. There were nine men, of varying ages, in the bar, and every head was turned towards the two women as they entered. The hiatus continued for, perhaps, ten seconds before one of the men passed comment.

“Christ, looks like a porker on its ‘ind legs!” A burst of laughter rippled round the room but Jane, unfazed, turned to Bella as they walked to the bar.

“Did you see anyone’s lips move, darling?” Bella shook her head. Jane hadn’t survived in the cut-throat world of publishing through being a shrinking violet.

“I thought not. Typical male, talking through his arse. How do you get service round here?” At that moment, Samuel Handysides walked through from the public bar, immediately sensing the atmosphere in the room but it seemed as though his appearance was the cue for things to return to normal as the locals drifted back into their usual Saturday morning routine. Usual, except that for every one of them, the topic of conversation was the same.

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“Bella! Nice to see you again.” Samuel Handysides gnome-like countenance beamed at them both from behind the bar.

“Nice to see you, Samuel,” she replied, coolly, flicking her head to straighten out her hair. “It’s a pity some of your regulars still haven’t learned any manners. It’s no wonder you don’t see strangers in here.” The level of her voice was such that the sound carried through the room, her remark directed at the customers, as much as the publican.

“Come now, Miss Foxton, they means no ‘arm by it, as I told you before. It’s only the lads ‘aving a bit o’ fun.” Jane was incensed, having been the target of their bit o’ fun. All activity in the room had ceased.

“Bit o’ fun? Is that what you call being downright insulting to someone? I’ll happily trade insults with your customers all night but, believe me, I know words they couldn’t even spell, that’s if they’ve ever had an education, which I doubt. Now I’d be pleased to settle for an apology from you and then we’d like to have a drink!” Impassive throughout Jane’s tirade, Samuel Handysides, a deliberate man not known to act in haste, took his time before replying. His features gave no indication of what was going through his mind.

“You have your drinks, whatever you’m be wantin’, on me, by way of an apology. I can’t says the lads are ever goin’ to change but if you gives as good as you gets I reckon that might shut ‘em up.

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“Pack of wankers, the lot of ‘em,” Jane grinned as she reached for her glass. They had taken seats at a table near the back wall of the room, close to the bar and facing the windows.

“You actually enjoyed that, didn’t you?” Astonishment was written all over Bella’s face.

“Well, honestly, darling! I’m sure what he said was a pretty accurate description. Quite funny, really, when you think about it. But does one actually want to be told. I think not!” It was amazing that, in the light of her previous experiences and what had just happened, Bella still didn’t feel exactly uncomfortable in the bar but regretted that it was so unwelcoming and dowdy. A good local would make all the difference. Jane had obviously read her thoughts.

“Is this the only pub in Turnip Town?” Bella gave her the