Rogue Wave by Isabel Jolie (reading eggs books txt) 📕

an idyllic vacation from reality. Resenting the adoption and the impact on my life was wrong. Didn’t make the emotions any less real.

“You okay?” Gabe asked from the kitchen table. File folders covered half the surface, all part of the reason for his visit.

“Fine.”

He scratched his head and resumed typing. I leaned against the kitchen counter, staring through the long room to the ocean, seeking equilibrium. All these fucking emotions leaked out, and I’d plug the hole, and it would work for a while until they found another break. I needed to go for a run, or a swim, or something to clear my head. I had to save my ship, keep it above water. Re-focus.

“All right. I’m about to complete these transfers and close out these accounts. Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“What are you worried about?” My mind wasn’t anywhere near my financial affairs.

“If anyone is tracking you, these kinds of deposits and purchases are going to hit your FICA, your social. Legal title changes. It’s kind of like not using a credit card when someone’s tracking you. You’re about to use some pretty big credit cards, so if anyone out there is trying to locate you, well, they’re gonna.”

“No one is tracking me.” No matter how often I insisted to my brother and Gabe I wasn’t on the run, they didn’t believe me.

Over the holidays, I’d worked out the business logistics with my brother. He dropped his suit contesting the will. He insisted he’d pay me over time for a percentage of the business. Now I just wanted to get my financial affairs in order.

I’d set my brother up as executor of my will should anything happen to me, with everything going to Jasmine. I wanted to get everything set up so if something happened, say the random Great White off the coast of NC struck or I had a stroke, she’d be taken care of.

Adopting a young teenage girl hadn’t been easy—no fault of Jasmine’s. On some days it felt like I had a stranger in my house, or maybe I was babysitting someone else’s kid, but this bit of logistics, I could take care of.

“Do it,” I told Gabe.

He tapped some keys then folded his laptop. “Okay, it’s done. Now, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?”

“I don’t know. Bike ride? Jasmine should be done in thirty minutes or so. We can go for a nice ride and grab a late lunch?”

“She’s pretty determined to listen to those tapes you got her every day, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, she is. She spends so much time upstairs in her room. She’s always studying. But sometimes I wonder if she’s up there to avoid me.”

“I don’t know, man. She looks at you like you hung the moon. Reminds me of the way my mom’s cat used to treat us after we adopted her from the shelter. I think she’s a hard worker. You’ve given her a chance at a completely new life, and she wants to do her best.”

“I can’t imagine. Moving to a new country, not knowing the language. I mean, the adoption agency gave me lots of info on what she’s going through, but I still can’t imagine it.”

He rapped the table with his fist, then gave me the drop-the-bullshit look he perfected in undergrad. “Why’d you end things with Luna?”

“I didn’t end anything.” His facial expression stopped me short. “Technically,” I muttered.

“Dude. You left her a Dear John. Then didn’t respond to any texts.”

“I lost my phone.”

“Seriously? You lost your phone when you went out of the country?” Lost wasn’t quite the right word. I left it at the hotel, charging in D.C. Didn’t realize it until I touched down in Heathrow on my connecting flight. I bought a temp phone and had the hotel return my phone to my brother’s house. There was something about disconnecting. I found it easy to do, but a shade of guilt chased me for it.

“Whatever. Look, the only reason I’m saying anything is that I know from Poppy that Luna was pretty hurt.”

I flinched.

“Poppy and I don’t talk a lot about you guys, but it’s come up.”

“I didn’t even know you and Poppy were in touch.”

“We text.”

“Hmm.”

“Shut it. Look, my point is, I think I get why you cut her off. Knowing you, you have it in your head you can’t date her now that you’ve adopted a kid.”

“She’s young.”

“If you’re not into her, fine by me, man. My point is adopting a kid doesn’t mean you have to live like a monk. I mean, I know single parents sometimes feel like not dating is part of putting the kid first, but in your case, you’ve adopted a girl who has seen a lot. She’s not a young child. I think she can handle seeing a healthy adult relationship. It might even be good for her.”

“She’s only thirteen.” If her birth records were correct, she was barely thirteen.

“You and I both know she’s mature for her age.” I glared at him, hating the truth, not him, and he put his hands up in the air. “Look, I don’t know shit. But it seems to me, making yourself miserable will not help Jasmine in any way. She’s a part of your life now, so in my opinion, you need to focus on living a full, healthy life. Because she’s part of it. Sequestering yourself from the world might be something you get off on doing, but it’s not healthy. You need to force yourself to open up to others, date and such, so you create a healthy environment for her. Your personal life doesn’t end when you become a parent.”

“You’ve been thinking a lot about this.”

“Some. I had nothing to read last night, so I picked up some stuff the agency sent you. It got me thinking. I get why you brought her back here. I know Gregg disagrees, but I agree with you that a tutor for this first part