My Autobiography by Charles Chaplin (most read book in the world TXT) 📕

we called him, was in a terrible state. ‘I’ve been in this business over ten years,’ he said. ‘What the hell do you know about it?’ I tried to reason with him, but to no avail. I tried to reason with members of the cast, but they also were against me. ‘Oh, he knows, he knows, he’s been in the business much longer than you have,’ said an old actor.

I made about five pictures and in some of them I had managed to put over one or two bits of comedy business of my own, in spite of the butchers in the cutting-room. Familiar with their method of cutting films, I would contrive business and gags just for entering and exiting from a scene, knowing that they would have difficulty in cutting them out. I took every opportunity I could to learn the business. I was in and out of the developing plant and cutting-room, watching the cutter piece the films together.

Now I was anxious to write and direct my own comedies, so I talked to Sennett about it. But he would not bear of it; instead he assigned me to Mabel Normand who had just started directing her own pictures. This nettled me, for, charming as Mabel was, I doubted her competence as a director; so the first day there came the inevitable blow-up. We were on location in the suburbs of Los Angeles and in one scene Mabel wanted me to stand with a hose and water down the road so that the villain’s car would skid over it. I suggested standing on the hose so that the water can’t come out, and when I look down the nozzle I unconsciously step off the hose and the water squirts in my face. But she shut me up quickly: ‘We have no time! We have no time! Do what you’re told.’

That was enough, I could not take it – and from such a pretty girl. ‘I’m sorry, Miss Normand, I will not do what I’m told. I don’t think you are competent to tell me what to do.’

The scene was in the centre of the road, and I left it and sat down on the kerb. Sweet Mabel – at that time she was only twenty, pretty and charming, everybody’s favourite, everybody loved her. Now she sat by the camera bewildered; nobody had ever spoken to her so directly before. I also was susceptible to her charm and beauty and secretly had a soft spot in my heart for her, but this was my work. Immediately the staff and the cast surrounded Mabel and went into conference. One or two extras, Mabel told me afterwards, wanted to slug me, but she stopped them from doing so. Then she sent the assistant over to find out if I was going to continue working. I crossed the road to where she was sitting. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said apologetically, ‘I just don’t think it’s funny or amusing. But if you’ll allow me to offer a few comedy suggestions –.’ She did not argue. ‘Very well,’ she said. ‘If you won’t do what you’re told, we’ll go back to the studio.’ Although the situation was desperate I was resigned, so I shrugged. We had not lost much of the day’s work, for we had been shooting since nine in the morning. It was now past five in the afternoon and the sun was sinking fast.

At the studio, while I was taking off my grease-paint, Sennett came bursting into the dressing-room. ‘What the hell’s the idea?’ he said.

I tried to explain. ‘The story needs gagging up,’ I said, ‘but Miss Normand will not listen to any suggestions.’

‘You’ll do what you’re told or get out, contract or no contract,’ he said.

I was very calm. ‘Mr Sennett,’ I answered, ‘I earned my bread and cheese before I came here, and if I’m fired – well, I’m fired. But I’m conscientious and just as keen to make a good picture as you are.’

Without saying anything further he slammed the door.

That night going home on the street-car with my friend I told him what had happened.

‘Too bad. You were going great there for a while,’ he said.

‘Do you think they’ll fire me?’ I said cheerfully, in order to hide my anxiety.

‘I wouldn’t be at all surprised. When I saw him leaving your dressing-room he looked pretty mad.’

‘Well, it’s O.K. with me. I’ve got fifteen hundred dollars in my belt and that will more than pay my fare back to England. However, I’ll show up tomorrow and if they don’t want me – c’est la vie.’

There was an eight o’clock call the following morning and I was not sure what to do, so I sat in the dressing-room without making up. About ten minutes to eight Sennett poked his head in the door. ‘Charlie, I want to talk to you, let’s go into Mabel’s dressing-room.’ His tone was surprisingly friendly.

‘Yes, Mr Sennett,’ I said, following him.

Mabel was not there; she was in the projection-room looking at rushes.

‘Listen,’ said Mack, ‘Mabel’s very fond of you, we all are fond of you and think you’re a fine artist.’

I was surprised at this sudden change and I immediately began to melt. ‘I certainly have the greatest respect and admiration for Miss Normand,’ I said, ‘but I don’t think she is competent to direct – after all she’s very young.’

‘Whatever you think just swallow your pride and help out,’ said Sennett, patting me on the shoulder.

‘That’s precisely what I’ve been trying to do.’

‘Well, do your best to get along with her.’

‘Listen, if you’ll let me direct myself, you’ll have no trouble,’ I said.

Mack paused a moment. ‘Who’s going to pay for the film if we can’t release it?’

‘I will,’ I answered. ‘I’ll deposit fifteen hundred dollars in any bank and if you can’t release the picture you can keep the money.’

Mack thought a moment. ‘Have you a story?’

‘Of course, as many as you want.’

‘All right,’ said Mack, ‘finish the picture with Mabel, then