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you know about my brother?”

“Gabe told me.”

The irony wasn’t lost on me that Gabe was angry at me for divulging his secrets, but it was okay for him to talk about my brother to everyone. “Let me go.”

“I wasn’t stopping you. Let me know if you need anything. You’ve done so much for Zach and Gabe I consider you a friend.”

I looked up in surprise that he’d called me a friend.

“Give him time, he’ll come around.”

I nodded because there was nothing else to say. He would or he wouldn’t. The question was whether I’d be here if he came back. I opened the door to the car and got in. I didn’t look back. I didn’t want to know if Isaac was watching me with concerned eyes. I just wanted to escape—to be alone.

When I arrived home, I curled up on my bed and let it all out. The fear over my brother, the guilt over leaving him, the pain of Gabe’s distrust and accusations. Why did I think I could come here and start over? I couldn’t shake Gabe’s words—you replaced Caleb with Zach. They played on an endless loop in my head. That’s exactly what I’d done, and Caleb was suffering for it.

Caleb hadn’t left the house by himself in years. Not until I’d moved out. What if his regression was tied to me leaving? Suddenly cold despite the warmth of my apartment, I wrapped myself tightly in a blanket and closed my eyes. Caleb was comfortable when he was in his home with people familiar to him—his family—my parents and me. Why did I think he’d be okay with me leaving? Even though he couldn’t communicate, he was attached to me. I was a source of comfort for him. I needed to get home. To be with him. I’d figure out the rest later.

After falling into a fitful sleep, the phone vibrating woke me early.

“Mom?” I asked, not even looking at the screen.

“Are you home?” My mom’s voice broke with tears.

“Yes, is Caleb okay?” I was almost afraid to ask. My mom never broke down. She was the strong stoic one.

Her voice broke as she tried to explain what happened. Dad said, “Taylor?

My mind went to the worst-case scenario that Caleb had been seriously hurt or even killed. “It’s me.”

“Caleb walked out into the street and was struck by a car.”

Mom sobbed quietly in the background.

“Is he okay?”

“He’s with the doctors now. He has some broken bones, but we don’t know about head injuries, internal injuries. We just don’t know.” His voice was thick with unshed tears.

“Don’t go there. Don’t think of the worst-case scenarios.” I wanted to calm them. “Which hospital are you at?”

“University of Maryland Shock Trauma.”

“I’m coming home. I’ll get on the first available flight.”

“We’ll see you when you get here.” Then he hung up.

I’d expected him to argue with me and the fact that he didn’t scared me even more. I bought the first available fare, packed a bag, and called an Uber to head to the airport. Gabe hadn’t left me any messages and there was no additional news from my parents.

The flight was quiet so early in the morning. I put in earphones and tried to listen to music, but I couldn’t hear the notes or the words. I tried to quell the increasing panic about what was going on at home.

When we finally landed in Baltimore, I took my phone off airplane mode and waited for the notifications to upload but none came. I quickly typed: I just landed at BWI. Taking a cab to the hospital. Tell me when you know something. Anything. The not knowing was unbearable.

It was an expensive cab ride to Baltimore but I didn’t have anyone I could call for a ride. I had no friends here. No one I was close to, not like Hadley or Gabe. Gabe hadn’t bothered reaching out to me and after last night, we were nothing. Those words barely penetrated over the continuing theme that I’d failed Caleb in the worst, most selfish way.

I stopped at the front desk to find out where my family was and headed to the waiting room. When I entered the room, my dad’s arm was around my mom, who looked older and so much smaller than she had when I’d left. Dad’s eyes met mine and were filled with so much anguish. I dropped to my knees in front of them. “Have you heard anything?”

“He’s in surgery. They had to remove his spleen. He has a broken arm, a possible concussion, some scrapes and cuts, but he’ll be okay,” Dad said.

“I won’t be okay until my baby’s out of surgery,” Mom said.

“He’ll be okay,” I assured her. Nothing would be okay. I was the one who was always able to calm Caleb the best. In the back of my mind, I’d always worried about what would happen if I moved out and now I knew. I never should have left.

“Are you home for the weekend?” Dad asked.

“As long as you need me.” I moved to sit next to them. I needed to contact my boss and tell him I wouldn’t be in on Monday and not for the foreseeable future. I didn’t want to quit but I didn’t have any leave saved since I’d just started. “I can take unpaid FMLA until Caleb’s better and then I’ll figure things out.”

“What’s there to figure out?” Dad asked.

I took a deep breath. “I think I want to come home.” There was nothing for me in New Orleans. Gabe didn’t trust me. He’d accused me of betraying him. I didn’t enjoy my job. My family needed me.

Dad’s hand landed on my arm. “You just started this job. You have to go back.”

I didn’t want him to see the guilt on my face because he’d know why I didn’t want to go back.

“This isn’t your fault. You know that right?” Dad asked.

I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head. Whose fault would it

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