Knight In Black Leather by Gail Dayton (ebook reader ink .txt) 📕

The false innocence was gone, the belligerence back. "What am I supposed to think when Grandma calls me up to tell me my mom's gone crazy. That not only have you moved out of our house to live in some hole-in-the-wall apartment that's barely bigger than my dorm room, but now you're shacking up with some drugged-out stoner half your age. And then you call to tell me you're coming to get my car? What am I supposed to think? That he probably just wants a newer model to steal."

Marilyn sighed and rubbed her eyes. She couldn't tell Julie why they needed to trade cars or she'd be even more hysterical. But maybe she could respond to some of the rest.

"I'm sorry you miss the house, but after you left, I couldn't stay there by myself. It was too quiet. I explained that. And Eli doesn't do drugs. He doesn't drink as much as your father did. He's not a thief, he's a mechanic. A repairman."

She looked back over her shoulder to see Eli standing several yards back, leaning on his crutch, patiently waiting in the cold. "Come meet him. You'll see."

"That's him? You not only brought him up here to take my car, but you want to introduce me to him? You honestly think I want to meet this--this home wrecker?" Julie sounded hysterical and Marilyn was beginning to feel that way.

"What home could he possibly wreck?" she demanded. "You're not home any more. You're up here at college. And your father's dead. He's been dead for four years, Julie."

"Well, you don't have to go rubbing my face in it!" She burst into tears. "Don't you think I know it? I know, okay?"

"Just because I'm seeing someone doesn't mean I love you any less." Marilyn reached for Julie to give her a hug, but she skittered away.

"You're seeing someone?" Julie sneered as she scrubbed away tears that turned into ice the minute they collected on her multicolored mittens. "Is that your generation's term for fucking your brains out?"

"Julie Ballard!" Marilyn wanted to threaten to wash her daughter's mouth with soap, but knew it was the wrong approach. Julie was hurting. Marilyn didn't know where the hurt came from, but that was the matter to be dealt with, not foul language.

"That's what you're doing, isn't it? God, you are such a hypocrite, telling me all the time to be careful, to save myself, and the minute Dad's gone, you find yourself a hot young stud for some cheap sex."

"The minute...?" Marilyn fought back her temper. She took a deep breath, seeking composure. "Four years, Julie. Four years. That's not exactly 'the minute'. You're just eighteen. You don't know who you are yet, much less what you want from a relationship. I'm thirty-nine. I--"

"And how old is he? Twelve?"

"He's twenty-five."

"My God, Mom, don't you see how ridiculous that sounds? How ridiculous you look? I wanted to throw up when I saw him kiss you. It's disgusting."

"You saw...?" When did Eli kiss her? "When he kissed me on the cheek when I came back to the car? After I came in looking for you? Good grief, Julie, he kissed me on the cheek."

"And it was gross."

"Oh, for--" Another realization struck home. "You were in your room, weren't you? When I came up and knocked. You were in there and wouldn't open the door."

"I didn't want to see you. I didn't want to talk to you. I still don't."

"Julie..." Marilyn stopped. She couldn't think what else to say, where to go from here. "I know you're hurting, baby. I know this year has been a big change for you, graduating, leaving home. Just talk to me. Whatever it is, we can work it out."

"Get rid of the boy toy and maybe I'll think about it."

Marilyn gaped at her daughter. "Look, I know that, as much change as you've dealt with this year, any more is bound to be upsetting. And I realize it's hard for a child to think of a parent as a human being, but that's what I am. I'm not Robo-Mom. Somebody you can wind up to do certain things and nothing else. I'm human, Julie. I can't live the rest of my life in a box."

"Get rid of him, Mom. Get rid of him." She whirled and ran down the path.

"Julie!"

"I hate you!"

Fifteen

***

The words echoed through the snowy landscape. A few students in the area looked up momentarily before putting their heads down again and trudging on through the cold.

Marilyn walked back to Eli, still waiting patiently, and went into his arms. She needed so badly to be held.

"Bad, huh?" he said after a moment, mouth against her hair.

"Awful. Horrible." Marilyn pulled off a glove to wipe away tears, then put it right back on. She was freezing, even without the tears.

"What did she say?" Eli looped her arm through his cast and turned back toward the parking lot.

"Oh, the usual." She fluttered a hand. "She hates me. I'm disgusting. Get rid of you and we can talk."

"So, maybe you should. Get rid of me, I mean."

She felt bad before he said it, but now she felt worse. Isolated. Desolate. Alone on a vast icy plain.

Eli went on. "This is your daughter. Me screwing up things with your mom is one thing, but your daughter's something else. Tell me and I'm out of here."

Maybe she should. This thing with Eli wouldn't last. He'd find somebody prettier. Somebody younger. Or else his wanderlust would kick in and he'd move on. But, God, while he was here, she felt so alive. So...happy.

Even so, was this temporary relationship, good as it felt, worth ruining a permanent one? Was it worth destroying the relationship with her only child?

And yet... "If I do, Eli, if I tell you to go, what then?"

"What do you mean?" He shot her a look over the top of the car just as they got in.

"What kind of relationship will Julie and I have if I let her