Blood Loss by Kerena Swan (good beach reads .txt) 📕

that Jenna is a wonderful girl and I love her every bit as much as I love Lucy. It was when Lucy suggested researching the family tree through an ancestry website which included DNA testing that I felt I had to confront my own doubts about whether Jenna really was our birth daughter. I realised I was frightened. If the test proved my suspicions right, then Jenna’s world – indeed all of our worlds – could be knocked completely out of orbit. It would also mean that we have a birth daughter who’s a stranger to us.

I managed to distract Lucy from her ancestry quest (though who knows when her curiosity will arise again?), but took it upon myself to undertake DNA tests of my husband, Jenna and me so I’d know the truth but be able to keep it to myself until I decided what to do about it. I sent fingernail clippings in secret and when the test came back I saw that my suspicions were well-founded because Jenna is not our biological daughter. I can only assume that she’s yours which means that the child you’ve brought up is ours.

I’m not looking to disrupt our lives and those of our children. As I said, Jenna is a wonderful girl whom we love dearly, and I hope that our child – your Sarah – has given you similar joy. I promise not to approach Sarah directly but I feel a need to see her, even from a distance, just to reassure myself that she is well and happy. Perhaps you feel a similar need to see Jenna.

I realise this must come as a shock to you, so I will give you time to digest this information before I approach you again to discuss the best way forward.

Yours truly,

Fiona Winterbourne

My heart sings with joy. My real mother wants me. She’s tried to find me! But the letter was written over three years ago. What happened in the intervening years? I open the next letter with great anticipation. Will this be a recent one?

A small flutter of disillusionment beats in my chest when I realise this letter was written four months after the other one. Did Fiona, my real mother, give up trying to find me? I scan the page quickly then take my time as I read it again.

20th January 2017

Dear Rosemary,

I am deeply saddened by your lack of response to my last letter but can only assume that you are too afraid to tell Sarah about the switch at birth for fear of losing her. I promise I won’t try to come between you. I just need to see her. Please. I think of little else and this is eating away at me.

I have been to your neighbourhood several times and driven up and down your street in the hope of catching a glimpse of Sarah. I have tried to find out more about her too, though I’ve stopped short of speaking to your neighbours. So far I’ve seen and found nothing. It occurred to me that the very worst might have happened and she might not have lived for long, but I have checked death records and thankfully she is not recorded there. Please reassure me that she is alive and well. I want to tell my husband about this but he has a weak heart and I don’t want to distress him if it is bad news.

Please don’t take this as criticism or as meaning that I want to ‘buy’ Sarah but, having seen where you live, I suspect that, with the best will in the world, you haven’t been able to provide for Sarah the way we’ve been able to provide for Jenna. We’ve fortunately been successful in our careers and are financially comfortable so I would like to even things up a little by providing some financial support for Sarah. Given that there is no firm proof yet that she is my daughter I have amended my will to state that I wish to divide my wealth and assets amongst my children. I see this as a way to support all three of them without naming them. Lucy as my first-born, Jenna as the child I have loved and raised as my own, and Sarah if a DNA test proves she is our biological daughter. My financial advisor has said this is acceptable and a court of law would likely award funds to all three young women. I have written separately to my solicitor to explain my wishes.

I beg you to get in touch to let me know Sarah is well. For Sarah’s sake please let me do what is right for her.

Yours sincerely,

Fiona Winterbourne

The joy I felt a moment ago is being replaced by a different emotion. My birth mother wanted to find me but my adoptive mother – my selfish, dishonest, cruel adoptive mother – didn’t want me found. Heat builds in my chest and burns my eyeballs. I’m trapped in a forest fire of hatred and loathing, and I stumble blindly to the door. I can’t think coherently. I just need to get downstairs to confront Rosemary. I miss a stair near the bottom and stumble down the last couple of steps.

‘You absolute bitch! You knew.’ My mouth contorts with rage and on impulse I lean forward to spit in Rosemary’s face. The saliva slides down her cheek and she opens her eyes wide in shock.

‘Sarah?’ She struggles to sit up but I shove her back down again.

‘You knew about the swap at the hospital. You know you’re not my real mother. How could you do this?’

‘You’re mistaken, Sarah, I—’

‘I’ve read the letters, Rosemary.’ The venom I feel drips off her name. ‘You’ve watched me struggle all this time and you’ve kept my real mother and father from me. Parents who can love me, provide for me and make me happy. Not a weak, spineless fucking excuse for a human like you. You never protected me from John Butcher.