Murder in the Gunroom by H. Beam Piper (100 books to read in a lifetime TXT) 📕

Perfect Butler greeted him unctuously. “If I may say so, sir, you’re a bit of an early riser. None of the family is up yet, sir.”

Rand jerked a thumb toward the kitchen. “Who’s out there?” he hissed.

“Just the cook; frying sausage and flipping pancakes. Premix pancakes, of course. The maid sleeps out; she hasn’t gotten here yet. How’d it go last night? You put a dummy under the covers and sleep on the floor?”

“No, last night I was safe. The blow-off isn’t due till this morning, when the women are at church, and he’ll have to catch me and the fall-guy together.”

“What do you want me to do?” Ritter asked, giving an un-butler-like hitch at his shoulder-holster. “I can stand on my official dignity, and get out of any cleaning-up work till after dinner, and I won’t have any buttling to do till the women get home from church.”

“Case Varcek and Dunmore, when they come in; see if either of them is rod-heavy. Find anything, last night?”

Ritter shook his head. “I searched Varcek’s lab, after everybody was in bed, and I searched the cars in the garage, and a lot of other places. I didn’t find them. Whoever he is, the chances are he has them in his room.”

“Did you look back of the books in the library?” Rand asked. When Ritter shook his head, he continued: “That’s probably where they are. Not that it makes a whole lot of difference.”

“If I’d found them, it’d of given me something to watch; then I’d know when the fun was going to start.” Ritter broke off suddenly. “Yes, sir. Will you have your coffee now, or later, sir?”

Gladys entered, wearing the blue tailored outfit she had worn to Rand’s office, on Wednesday.

“At ease, at ease,” she laughed, dropping into her chair. “Anything new?”

Rand shook his head. “We’ll have to wait. I’m expecting some action this morning; I hope it’ll be over before you’re home from church.”

She looked at him seriously. “Jeff, you’re using yourself as murder-bait,” she said. “Aren’t you?”

“More or less. He knows I’m onto him. He’s pretty sure I haven’t any real proof, yet, but he doesn’t know how soon I will have. He realizes that I’m cat-and-mousing him, the way I did Walters. So he’ll try to kill me before I pounce, and when he does, he’ll convict himself. What he doesn’t realize is that as long as he sits tight, he’s perfectly safe.”

Neither of them mentioned the obvious corollary, that conviction and execution would be almost simultaneous. It must have been uppermost in Gladys’s mind; she leaned over and put her hand on Rand’s arm.

“Jeff, would it help any if I stayed home, instead of going to church?” she asked. “I’m a pretty fair pistol-shot. Lane taught me. I can stay over ninety at slow fire, and in the eighties at timed-and-rapid. If I hid somewhere with a target pistol⁠—”

“Absolutely not!” Rand vetoed emphatically. “I’m not saying that because I’m afraid you might stop a slug yourself. You’re a big girl, now; you can take your own chances. But if you stayed home, he wouldn’t make a move. You and Geraldine and Nelda have to be out of the house before he’ll feel safe coming out of the grass.”

“Watch it!” Ritter warned. “Yes, ma’am; at once, ma’am.”

Nelda came in and sat down. Ritter held her chair and fussed over her, finding out what she wanted to eat. He was bringing in her fruit when Varcek and Geraldine entered. Nelda was inquiring if Rand wanted to come to church with them.

“No; I’m one of the boys the chaplain couldn’t find in the foxholes,” Rand said. “I’m going to put in a quiet morning on the collection. If nobody gets murdered or arrested in the meantime, that is.”

Geraldine looked woebegone; her hands were trembling. “My God, do I have a hangover!” she moaned. “Walters, for heaven’s sake, fix me up something, quick!” Then she saw Ritter. “Who the devil are you?” she demanded. “Where’s Walters?”

“Out on bail,” Rand told her. “Don’t you remember?”

“Oh, you did this to me!” she accused. “Walters could always fix me up, in the morning. Now what am I going to do?”

“You might stop drinking,” her husband suggested mildly.

“Oh, just stop breathing; that would be better all around,” Nelda interposed.

Ritter coughed delicately. “Begging your pardon, ma’am, but I’ve always rawther fawncied myself for an expert on morning-awfter tonics. If you’ll wait a moment⁠—”

He departed on his errand of mercy, returning shortly with a highball glass filled with some dark, evil-looking potion. He set it on the table in front of the sufferer and poured her a cup of coffee.

“Now, ma’am; just try this. Take it gradually, if I may suggest. Don’t attempt to gulp it; it’s quite strong, ma’am.”

Geraldine tasted it and pulled a Gorgon-face. Encouraged by Ritter, she managed to down about half of the mixture.

“Splendid, ma’am; splendid!” he cheered her on. “Now, drink your coffee, ma’am, and then finish it. That’s right, ma’am. And now, more coffee.”

Geraldine struggled through with the black draft and drank the second cup of coffee. As she set down the empty cup, she even managed to smile.

“Why, that’s wonderful!” She lit a cigarette. “What is it? I feel as though I might live, after all.”

“A recipe of my own, a variant on the old Prairie Oyster, but without the raw egg, which I consider a needless embellishment, ma’am. I learned it in the household of a former employer, a New York stockbroker. Poor man: he did himself in in the autumn of 1929.”

“Well, it’s too bad you won’t be with us permanently, Davies,” Nelda said. “Your recipe seems to be just what Geraldine needs. With a dash of prussic acid added, of course.”

That got the bush-fighting off to a good start. When Dunmore came in, a few minutes later, the two sisters were stalking one another through the jungle, blow-gunning poison darts back and forth. The newcomer sat down without a word; throughout the meal, he and Varcek treated