Never Say Never by Rachael Sommers (books to get back into reading TXT) 📕

she wouldn’t, because things felt different this time, and if this was the only way she could have Camila, the only time she could have Camila, she sure as hell wasn’t going to let the moment slip through her fingers.

Emily didn’t know who started it, but suddenly they were kissing, Camila’s mouth hot and desperate, her tongue searching, and Emily thought she had died and gone to heaven.

Emily moaned into Camila’s mouth as her hand slid into her hair, bringing her deeper into the kiss, and God, Emily had imagined this a hundred times, but it was nothing, nothing compared to the reality of having Camila in her arms, her lips moving against her own.

She slid her other hand down to Camila’s hip, pulling her close and falling backward onto the couch. Camila straddled her, a knee on either side of Emily’s hips. Camila’s weight in her lap, and Emily stroked Camila’s thighs, pushing her dress up over bare skin. Camila groaned, and fuck, Emily thought she was going to spontaneously combust with the sparks dancing across her skin wherever she and Camila touched.

In the distance a phone rang, persistent and annoying, and she whined when Camila pulled back until she saw the molten fire in her eyes, dark and dangerous, and Emily recognized the desire swimming in their depths.

But then Camila realized where she was, what she was doing, and she glanced down at Emily’s kiss-swollen lips, Emily’s hands on her thighs, and her expression changed. Her lips tightened and her eyes darkened, and Emily felt her slipping away, retreating behind her walls, felt the moment turning to dust.

“Camila, I—” Emily wanted to salvage things, to make everything better, even though she had no idea what to say, no clue what she could possibly do. Camila extracted herself from Emily’s arms, slipped off her lap, and stood up.

She stumbled as she turned, and Emily reached for her wrist, but Camila wrenched her hand away like it burned, and Emily felt tears sting her eyes.

“Emily, that…that cannot happen again.” Camila’s voice shook, but her eyes were steady, and Emily wanted to disappear into the couch, wished she had gone to bed with Jaime, because it was happening again—Camila was pulling away, and this time Emily didn’t know how she would survive.

“Why not?” The words came out in a whisper, and she hadn’t meant for them to slip out at all, but they did. Camila stared down at her like she didn’t recognize her, and Emily had no idea what she was seeing, what she might be giving away to Camila’s probing gaze.

“Because this was a mistake.” Now her voice didn’t waver and her jaw was set. If there had been a chance to salvage this moment, it was gone now. “I’m not… I’m just not interested in you like that.”

“You kissed me back.” Her voice was too quiet, too weak where Camila’s was strong. She was fighting a losing battle but not quite ready to quit.

“It was…a momentary lapse in judgment—”

Her words stung, cutting her like a thousand pieces of glass slicing into her skin, into her heart, leaving it in tatters, and she couldn’t believe she had been so stupid to let this happen again. Everything she cared about was falling apart.

“—and it won’t happen again.”

And though she wanted to believe Camila wouldn’t keep that promise, wanted to keep fighting, the will had gone out of her. Somehow Camila looked completely unaffected as she smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress. Emily slumped back onto the couch, defeated.

“Okay.” Her voice sounded far away, and if Camila said anything else, Emily’s head was too fuzzy to hear it. When she looked up again, Camila was gone, back to the safety of her room.

Tears slipped down Emily’s cheeks and she wiped them hastily away, but they wouldn’t stop and she didn’t know how to make them.

She never should have applied for this job, should never have accepted it, because even in that first interview she knew it would be dangerous. And now here she was, crying her eyes out a million miles from home, and she felt more alone than she had in a long, long time.

At least she knew where she stood now, once and for all.

Camila didn’t want her, she never had, and now that she knew that, maybe she could move on.

But she knew she wouldn’t.

Now she had to figure out how in the hell she was going to look Camila in the eye without her heart tearing itself in two.

She didn’t know if that was even possible.

* * *

Camila shut the door behind her and leaned against it, one hand twisting her hair. She wanted to scream.

She hadn’t been able to keep her distance from Emily this week, had indulged too much, had let her get close again, let her think she had a chance, and now…now everything was in pieces. The second their mouths had met, Camila lost control because, when Emily kissed her the first time, it had been swift and chaste, but this time Emily had kissed her with fervor, with intention, and it had lit a fire in her that she didn’t think would ever truly die.

Emily had kissed her, and Camila kissed her back because it was all she had wanted to do the whole damn week, and the ringing phone had snapped her back to reality.

Pushing Emily away the first time had been hard, but this time it was torture.

She could undo it so easily. She could go back to the living room where Emily was probably still on the couch, and she could pull her to her, hold her close, and kiss her hard.

But it would end, she knew it would. She had never had a relationship that lasted, and this time there were far too many obstacles—Emily’s age, their professional relationship—in their way.

Surely it was easier to end this before it really began, even though it didn’t feel easier, not with the memory of Emily’s lips on hers, the