The Passenger by Daniel Hurst (great book club books TXT) 📕

I’ve gone and said the wrong thing, and now my daughter is mad at me again.

‘What are you hiding?’ Louise asks me as she keeps her distance from me when I try to get her to sit down again.

‘I’m not hiding anything,’ I try. But she isn’t buying it.

‘Escorting would explain the money. But what about the other stuff that was in there. The watch. The ring. Where did that stuff come from?’

I think about trying to lie my way out of this one too, but I stop when I see how hurt my daughter is. After everything she has been through today, she doesn’t deserve that. Maybe I’ll regret telling her, and maybe I’ll get punished for it, but perhaps that’s what I deserve.

‘Sit down and I’ll tell you,’ I say, my voice low and my mood even lower.

Louise does as I ask, and I can feel my heart hammering in my chest as I prepare to reveal my deepest and darkest secret.

‘I was telling the truth when I said I didn’t go back to the homes of any of my dates,’ I begin. ‘But there was one exception.’

I take a deep breath before continuing. ‘There was one man who asked me to go back, and I did,’ I say, and Louise shakes her head at me. ‘But it’s not what you think,’ I quickly add. ‘It wasn’t for sex. He was much older than me. His wife had passed away, and he was all alone. He had become quite fond of me during our dates and took it badly when I told him that I was going to leave the escorting agency. So he offered me money to come back for one more drink.’

‘And you accepted it?’

‘It was a lot of money, and he was a lonely old man. I felt sorry for him.’

‘What happened?’

My brain is screaming at me to stop talking, but Louise should know the truth, so I press on. ‘At first, everything was fine. We had our drink, and he was a gentleman like always. Then I was preparing to leave. That’s when he changed.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He made a pass at me. I was shocked, not just because of the age difference between us but because he had never even hinted at wanting anything like that from me in all our previous dates.’

‘What did you do?’ Louise asks, and I can tell that she is afraid of my answer. By now she must have guessed that the jewellery belongs to this man, but I bet she’d never guess how I ended up getting it.

‘I tried to leave. He wouldn’t let me. He forced himself on me, and he was much stronger than I thought he would be.’

Just reliving that night in my mind is bringing back that terrible feeling when he had me pressed against the door in his apartment. That feeling of not being able to stop what was about to happen. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

‘Oh, my God,’ Louise says, and this time she is the one to take my hand.

‘We fought. I hit him over the head. He didn’t get back up.’

The vivid nature of the memory in my mind means I can almost see his body lying in front of me right now.

‘Did you kill him?’ Louise asks.

I nod my response.

My daughter doesn’t say anything for a few seconds until my anxiety levels reach breaking point and I have to end the silence.

‘He was going to rape me. I had to do something. But I never meant to kill him. You have to believe me.’

‘Of course I believe you,’ Louise says, and it’s a relief to have her trust, even if it is over something as bad as this. ‘So what happened then?’

‘I was going to leave, but then I saw his safe across the room, just sitting there, wide open. It was full of money. I know I shouldn’t have, but I guess it was the adrenaline or the shock after what had just happened that made me do it.’

‘You took everything?’

I nod my head, feeling almost as ashamed about that as I do about the fact that I killed a man.

‘So the watch and ring were his,’ Louise says, piecing it all together. ‘That’s why you don’t want to call the police. If they catch them and find out where they got them from, they’ll know you killed him.’

I say nothing because there isn’t anything else that I can add that will make this situation any better.

‘So what do we do?’ Louise asks me.

‘I don’t know,’ I reply, and I don’t even need to think about lying for that one. ‘Maybe I can talk to my manager and ask him to redact my resignation. Or I can find another job. We’ll be okay.’

But Louise doesn’t say anything. I’m not sure if it’s because she is mad at me again or whether she has finally run out of questions to ask. It doesn’t matter. I’ve told her everything there is to know about this sorry situation now.

‘I’ll call my manager now and see what I can do about my job,’ I say, taking out my mobile phone and doing my best to stop the tears welling up in my eyes. I can’t believe I’m going to have to beg for a job I couldn’t wait to leave. I’m just about to locate his number on my phone when Louise suddenly sits forward.

‘Oh, my God. I think I might know a way of finding them!’ she says, leaping up from the bed and rushing into her room.

‘What?’ I call after her, but she doesn’t answer me until she returns with her laptop, which she quickly opens and logs onto.

‘My phone has that thing where you can check the location on it if you lose it,’ she tells me, shaking her head. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t think of it straight away.’

‘What does that mean?’ I ask her, still not quite caught up with her thought process.

‘James