The Long Dark by B.J. Farmer (reading women .TXT) 📕

maybe a hundred feet away from the Commons. I was pretty sure it was a Gray, as it was not adequately clothed for winter in the Arctic. I rolled him over, and he had taken a round to the forehead. For a split second, I thought I could be wrong. The Patch had the Polar Bear gun. I knew several other people, even though the rules strictly forbid it, also had weapons. Maybe they fought off the Grays. A few seconds later, as I was still lingering over the dead Gray, Sam’s grief-soaked curses told me my newfound hope was misplaced.

Not in any hurry to get there, I ambled to where they lay and where they appeared to have been executed. Sam was on a knee, looking at one of them. He rolled her over, exposing her face to me. I gagged.

“Olivia, son, ‘ose bastards shot her in the head. She was innocent as ‘at snow she layin in. How in the world?”

Once I emptied my body of the few nutrients it had left, I croaked, “Let’s check the Commons and leave.”

“’Is is ‘at easy for you?”

“No.”

Sam shook his head. “It’s easy ta talk ‘bout thangs. Here is what the Order done ta us. Look ‘round. All our friends is stone-cold dead.” He spit. “And here you are tellin me ta hurry ‘cause ‘em sonofabitches might be here.” He stood up, his back arched, and posturing for a fight. “Good.”

“Sam,” I said.

“Come on, you mother-less son-of-filthy-Korean whores!”

“Sam, please.”

He finally turned to me. “It just ain’t right is all.”

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Tish walked through the bodies. She stopped at one of them and looked down, only pausing for a tick before turning in our general direction. “I’m going to check the nest for survivors,” she said.

“Titouan will you go with--”

“I got it,” she said, interrupting me.

I waved her to go before turning my attention back to Sam. “I’m sorry.”

He tugged at his pants. “I know.” He then wiped his face before finishing, “What you reckon ‘bout Jack?”

“Hope. That’s all we got.”

On the way over to the Commons, Sam v-lined to the lean-to. I followed, Titouan and Avery falling in just behind us.

Outside the side entrance to the lean-to lay a body. Thankfully, we didn’t recognize the dead man. Whoever he was, he had been shot at least twice: Once in the face, the shot nearly taking off his left jaw, and the other bullet looked to be shot from the rear, taking out a significant portion of his forehead.

Once inside, the overwhelming stench of urine and feces filled my nostrils, causing me to puke once again. “You see those bullet holes?” I asked, wiping the putrid liquid from my mouth.

Sam’s face glinted with the look of hope as he asked. “You reckon somebody was hidin in ‘ere?”

“Is that a hidden room?” Titouan asked.

I ignored Titouan. “Maybe whoever it was took that guy out,” I said, pointing towards where the dead-man lay outside.

“I hope whoever it was shot more ‘an ‘at bastard.”

I wanted to part with a bit of hope that Jack was still alive and that maybe he was the one who killed the man, but I didn’t allow myself. Still, it was clear that someone had hidden in the lean-to. I nodded my agreement for what Sam had said.

I then looked over Avery and Titouan. They sort of just lingered in the background, taking in the events silently. Titouan’s face was white as snow. He looked beyond sick like he was one of the dead people on the ground. Avery was so concentrated on Kelley’s phone that he didn’t seem to be as affected. He did steal the occasional look at the carnage. I patted him on the back. He nodded a quick acknowledgment before returning to the phone.

“We should check on the Commons,” Sam said.

I saved a pat on the shoulder for him. “Okay.”

The Commons was a horrible, ghoulish mess. Bodies were strewn everywhere. Most of which had severe wounds to the head and upper body, mixed in with a few who looked to have been bullet wounds. The Order had murdered every living soul at the Patch.

Seeing the fresh round of carnage had caused Sam to reengage with his rage. “If I find the sonofabitches who done ‘is, I’m goin ta kill ever damn one of ‘em.”

It was a shared sentiment. Concentrating on revenge was much better than feeling the hurt of seeing people you care about lying dead in their own piss and shit. It was an unholy and holy undignified way for them to die. The people who did it would all need to die. What had happened could never be reversed, but that wasn’t the point. The brutality that was shown at the Patch had much more profound ramifications than merely calling for revenge. If you were going to live, you had to be just as ruthless as those who sought to murder.

I turned in the direction where Avery had been. “Where’s Avery?”

“He muttered something about going back to the Ripsaw,” Titouan said, hoarsely.

“I need to step outside, myself,” I told them.

Sam was hunched down next to a body. He spoke softly. “Be ‘ere in a second.”

Standing outside, I slung the rifle over my shoulder. I raised my then gloveless hands. They shook uncontrollably. I tried deep calming breaths, but it was useless. My body began to shake and convulse. I heard a whimper exit my mouth without realizing it had ever formed.

The lizard part of my brain had arrested all control, leaving me helpless against the onslaught of emotions and memories that flashed across my mind. Some were stowed away a very long time ago, while others were new. They came in the form of abstract flashes of color and intensities of light that were inexplicably clear to me. I cried like I never cried before.

For most of my adult life, I had drunk or drugged away any thought of dealing with my past. It was all