Stealing Time by Rebecca Bowyer (acx book reading .txt) 📕

realised her left leg hadfallen asleep around the same time as her son. Listening for Kir’sbreath one last time, she stood and wriggled out her pins andneedles.

In the living room, Sebastian sat with hislegs wide and his elbows on his knees, hands clasped. He looked upas she came in and flicked his head in an invitation to sit besidehim. Varya deadpanned him, annoyed at his attempt to guide her evenin her own home. She sat in the matching armchair, legs and handsfolded.

“You can sleep in the spare room. There’s abed made up,” she said into the silence. “Extra blankets in thecupboard.”

Say something, she silently pleaded. Shefelt the pull of the empty, cushioned seat next to him, couldalmost feel the warmth of his thigh next to hers. They’d been sohappy, so right for each other. They’d fought, of course they had.People like Sebastian and her were never meant to be dependent onsomebody else. They didn’t need each other in the way that somecouples seemed to. She could survive perfectly well without him; infact, she had. For five years now. She told herself she couldsurvive for the rest of her life alone, as long as Kir was close.But right now, the primal scent of him was wafting over the shortdistance between them.

She nodded and leaned forward, as though tostand.

“The other kids, their life spans have beenrestored,” he said to the rug, not looking at her. “But it couldhave been so much worse.”

Varya swung forward again and this timestood up fully, placing her hands on her hips and facing Sebastian.Suddenly the smell of him aroused only anger in her.

“It could always be worse. That’s life,Sebastian.” She waited, spoiling for a fight. This was familiarterritory; it was why their working relationship was so powerfulbut their personal one fraught with runaway fireworks. She wouldcome up with a radical idea to trial; he would pick it apart andtell her why it was a terrible idea and could never be made towork. She would defend the idea; he would modify it. The finalresult was always better than the sum of its parts.

“None of this would have happened at all ifyou’d just let go to start with.”

“Let go of our son’s life, you mean?” saidVarya, simultaneously fighting back tears and the urge to slaphim.

He looked up at her then, pain evident inhis grey-blue eyes. Varya noticed lines on his face where therehadn’t been any before. She had been looking at him for days sincehis surprise appearance but hadn’t really seen him until now.

“Yes.” His response was barely audible. Helooked away then and mumbled something to the side table.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear…” she started.

He met her eyes then. “I’m sorry,” he said,clearly and firmly this time. “I’m so sorry for not believing inyou.”

She stood, too stunned to say anything. Herwhole body started to shake. The tremble started in her elbows andcrept up her arms and into her shoulders. Her chest concaved once,then twice. Then the tears began again. She felt warm, strong armsfold her into a solid wall of comfort, but she couldn’t allowherself the relief.

“I killed a child,” she hiccupped betweensobs. “More than one.”

He didn’t let her go, instead he put hishand over the side of her head and gently pulled her close to hischest, where he rested his cheek on her crown.

“You didn’t kill those kids.”

She pulled away from him and turned away,wiping her nose with her sleeve. “No.” Her chest tightened withanger, though to whom it was directed she had no idea. “I killedthem. If I had destroyed the tech like I was supposed to, if I hadlet go of Kir like you told me to.” She placed her hands onSebastian’s chest and pushed him away. “Don’t you understand? Otherpeople’s sons and daughters have died because our son lived.”

Sebastian clenched his fists, his bodydefaulting to a fighting stance. He inhaled and exhaled heavily,forcing his muscles to relax.

“How am I supposed to live with that?” Varyasat down suddenly, her head in her hands. She rocked and keenedquietly, wary of waking Kir. Sebastian sat beside her.

After a while he said, “I could tell youthat it doesn’t work like that. I could tell you that we make thebest decisions we can with the information we have at the time.And, I think, you did exactly that. You couldn’t have foreseen whatyour mother did. She and Reg couldn’t have known that he was beingfollowed. I could tell you that you should stop feeling guiltyabout it.” He put his hand on her arm, but she pulled away. Hisgrip tightened, refusing to yield. “But I’m not, Varya, because Iknow it won’t help you.”

She stilled.

“I think,” he started, stroking her forearmwith this thumb. “No, I know that Kir will now have one of the mostoverprotective, anxious mothers that ever walked this planet. Iknow that you will spend the rest of your life trying to repay yourperceived debt to those kids’ parents.” He laughed wryly. “And, ifyou continue trying to repay that debt with your work at theFoundation, you’ll also save the lives of countlesskids.”

Varya had stopped sobbing. Sebastian tookboth of her hands and tried to put his face in her line ofvision.

“Varya.”

“Mmm?” she sniffed. She let him take herhands, but she couldn’t meet his eyes just yet.

“Thank you. Thank you for completelyignoring everything I said. Thank you for not letting go of ourboy.”

Varya let out another sob and leant intohim. “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered. “And I really needsome tissues.”

He laughed, a slightly strangled sound, andshe looked up and smiled. She saw he was crying now too.

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve again.“I’ll be back in a minute.”

She brought him soft, aloe vera-infusedtissues from the bathroom, sneaking a peek in at the still-sleepingKir on her way past. Clutching the box of tissues to her chest, shewatched Sebastian from the doorway. He was tapping things into hisscreen, frowning. It felt like such a relief to forgive and to beforgiven. To put herself in his hands again and feel her stomachbottom out and her mind start to freefall. Everything was so blackand white for