Traveler by L.E. DeLano (book suggestions .txt) 📕

good at this,” he says matter-of-factly. “I’m winning. Are you going to stay here now, Jessa?”

“Yeah, Danny,” I say, eyeing him warily. “I live here, remember?”

“Is Finn still here? Can he play the game with me?”

I feel Ben’s eyes on me, and his whole body is frozen.

“Danny, Ben and I are going to go out for a little while, okay?” I tell him. “Just keep on playing.”

“Okay. I’m a killer. Ben says so.”

I fold my arms across my chest and we walk to the door. I keep my eyes on Ben’s rigid back and I hate myself. Oh God, do I hate myself. I want to find a mirror, reach through, and punch me right in the wandering mouth.

We walk outside to his truck, and he turns to face me, leaning his back against the door.

“Ben…,” I start. I look at him, and the urge is overwhelming to wrap my arms around him. This is Ben. Ben. And she—we—love him.

He shakes his head, and I see his jaw tighten, like he’s keeping himself from saying something.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and the tears start to slip out. “I’m so sorry.” I put my hands over my face and start to cry, big, heaving sobs, and I don’t know how it’s even possible that I have any tears left after all the crying I’ve done this morning. I hear him sigh and feel his hand settle tentatively on my shoulder.

“Talk to me, St. Clair. What’s going on?”

“It’s … complicated.”

“What’s complicated?”

“Everything. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“About me? Or about him?”

“Both, I guess.” I look at him and realize that’s a cop-out. I have to be honest with him. I owe him that. I force myself to meet his eyes.

“You, mostly,” I say, and the tears start up again.

“So this whole week was … what? An accident? An experiment? What?” His arm drops. He’s getting mad now. He can barely get the words out, and I am drowning in misery for it.

“No! It’s not like that!”

“Then what are you doing? With him?”

Oh God, I am so bad at this. “It’s not like I don’t … care about you. I do. I just … I’ve done some thinking.”

“And you think you’d rather have Finn,” he says flatly. “Or would you rather just string us both along until you figure it out?”

“That’s not fair!”

“Not fair? I’m not being fair?”

He storms around to the driver’s side of the truck and gets in, turning the keys in the ignition.

I follow him, and I reach out and stop the door as he tries to shut it.

“Wait, Ben—where are you going?”

“I’m fixing to go home. Wouldn’t want to risk having your boyfriend see us together,” he snarls. “He just might feel like he’s been played or something.”

He pulls the door closed with a bang and revs the engine, and I step back as he pulls out and drives away. I stand in the street until he turns the corner and I can’t see him anymore. I want to just sink down to the ground, but the neighbors are probably all looking at me.

I wipe my eyes and cheeks with my fingers and take a couple of deep breaths before I walk back inside. Danny turns to look at me as soon as I open the door.

“Did you kill Ben because he’s your friend?” he asks.

41

Revealed

I go right up to my room and throw myself down on the bed to get the rest of my cry out. After the couple of days I’ve had and the situation with Ben, I am heartsore and still exhausted. My bed is soft and warm and I feel like I’m sinking into it, growing roots that burrow down.

“Jessa?” Finn’s voice carries from the doorway.

He carefully sets down two giant cups of Mugsy’s coffee on my nightstand and closes the door behind him.

“So your day can only go up from here,” he quips.

“Don’t even joke like that,” I say, staring up at the ceiling.

“Sorry.”

I turn my head to look at him as he sits down on the bed. “I didn’t hear you leave.”

“I snuck out the back.”

“I really don’t want coffee,” I say.

“I brought cookies, too.”

“I want to throw up.”

“Then I guess some glitter mousse is a bad … idea.” He trails off, and his mouth parts slightly. He starts slowly shaking his head.

“What?” I ask.

He turns to me, and with one word, he pulls me out of my misery.

“Rudy.”

“What?”

“The Traveler isn’t the one trying to kill you. Rudy is.”

I am instantly awake enough to sit up.

“Rudy!”

Finn makes a grim face. “Rudy was the one who sent me to you in the first place. He sent every Finn he could to every Jessa, and they started dying, didn’t they?”

“But—”

“It’s been so obvious we were blind to it. Rudy left before Mario sent us to your deaf reality, didn’t he? And we were safe there.”

It’s beginning to dawn on me. “And when we showed up at glittery Mugsy’s…”

“A place we’ve been known to frequent,” Finn reminds me. “We were easy prey. Rudy even suggested to me that I should take you away for a while. Once we got there, he knew exactly where to send you.”

“But he can’t come into reality, can he?”

“He’s not working alone,” Finn said. “He’s got a follower who’s a Traveler. Maybe more than one. He’s directing them, and now he knows for sure he’s got the right Jessa, doesn’t he?”

My chest freezes in fear. “You can’t go to sleep,” I whisper. “If he knows that you’ve figured it out, he’ll find a way to kill you, too.”

“You have to talk to Mario. Now. And I have to stay awake until he tells us what our next step is.” He reaches for one of the cups of coffee and takes a long drink.

As tired as I am, I’m not sure I can sleep. My heart is pounding too hard. We’ve got a practically omnipotent being with control over God knows how many other Travelers trying to wipe out most of the universe, with us in