Not Pretending Anymore by Ward, Penelope (big ebook reader .TXT) 📕

upstairs to bed, he was unresponsive. The paramedics performed CPR when they arrived and were able to get a weak pulse, but things weren’t much better now, almost six hours later.

Kayla had run home a half hour ago to check in on my half-sister and give her an update before bringing her back to… I couldn’t even finish the sentence in my head. Bring her back to what? Say goodbye? That thought was still unfathomable.

When she called, I’d been at Will’s apartment freaking out about the possibility of finally having sex with the man I’d been dating for a few months. At the time, it had felt like the biggest decision I’d ever had to make. But now, just hours later, my father’s wife was looking to me for guidance on his health, and I could no longer imagine I’d thought my sex life was important enough to waste precious time fretting over.

My head was a jumbled mess as I rounded the rear corner of the hospital. When my phone buzzed in my hand, I held my breath. Seeing Declan’s name, I let out a sigh of relief, glad it wasn’t the hospital, or Will, calling with bad news. I swiped to read the message.

Declan: Just checking in on you.

I smiled halfheartedly. After the bombshell one-line message I’d sent to him on my way to the hospital earlier, I’d given him an update and promised I’d call if anything changed. But I really wanted to talk to him right now, so rather than text a response, I hit call.

He answered on the first ring.

“Hey—how are you?”

His voice wrapped around me like a warm blanket, and I felt my shoulders relax a little. “I’ve been better,” I said. “It’s good to hear your voice. I’m sorry for calling so early. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Are you kidding? I was pacing, not sleeping. How’s your dad?”

“He’s…not good.” I felt my eyes well up with tears. “I don’t think he’s going to make it too much longer. He has a DNR—a signed do-not-resuscitate order—so he didn’t want to be put on life support. Without any help, his pulse is weak and his breathing is slow.”

“Jesus, Mollz. I’m so sorry. I knew he was sick; I just didn’t know this would happen so quickly, or I wouldn’t have left.” He paused. “I should’ve stayed. I should’ve fucking stayed.”

I smiled. Though I couldn’t see him, I knew Declan had just dragged a hand through his hair. “You had to work. No one knew how fast we were going to get here.”

“Is he…comfortable?”

“I think he is. He’s not awake to tell us, but his face is relaxed. He actually looks very much at peace right now.”

“Good. Good. Are you at the hospital still?”

“Yeah. I needed some fresh air, so I decided to take a walk—do a lap or two around the building.”

“Is Kayla with you?”

“No, not at the moment. She went home to talk to my half-sister.”

“Shit. I wish I could’ve jumped in the car when I got your text last night. But I’d been drinking and couldn’t. You shouldn’t be alone.”

“I’m not. Will is here with me.”

There was a long moment of silence before Declan spoke again.

“Right, of course. I’m glad you’re not alone.”

I needed a few minutes of escape. “Tell me about Wisconsin.”

“Are you changing the subject because you need a break?”

I smiled. He knew me so well. “Yeah, I am.”

“Okay, well…let me see, where should I start? Oh, I know—I met a woman.”

My heart sank. “You did?”

“Yep, her name is Belinda. She’s sixty-one and a lesbian.”

I chuckled, feeling instantly relieved. “Do you work with her at the dairy company?”

“Nope. She owns the bar down the street from my hotel. I really like it there. The people are great. I don’t know why I never went to a gay bar before.”

“Probably because you’re not gay.”

“Oh yeah, that might be it.”

Declan spent the next ten minutes telling me about random people he’d met in Wisconsin. His physical descriptions were amusing because he likened everyone to a different cartoon character. From the way he spoke, I envisioned the state of Wisconsin much like Narnia—except I’d pass over the state line rather than through a closet and suddenly everything would be animated.

Only Declan could make me laugh right now. I sighed. “God, I needed this.”

“What? To hear about my boring life in Wisconsin?”

“Just to forget for a few minutes.”

He sighed. “I wish I was there with you.”

As I turned the corner to return to the front of the hospital, my heart nearly stopped seeing Will walking toward me. He must’ve noticed the color drain from my face, because he held up his hands.

“Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Kayla came back, so I gave her and your sister a minute alone with your dad. She promised to text if anything changed.”

“Oh…” I let out a jagged breath. “Okay, thanks.”

Remembering I was still on the phone, I returned to my conversation, “Sorry. I panicked there for a minute. I thought something happened with my dad.”

“Yeah, I heard. Is that Will?”

“Yes.”

An awkward silence ensued. “Do you want me to let you go?”

“Yeah, I guess I should.”

“Okay. But keep in touch. Promise, Mollz?”

“I will.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

“Bye.”

After I swiped the phone off, Will handed me a coffee. I hadn’t even noticed he had one in each hand. “Who was that?”

“Declan.”

He frowned, but tried to cover it. “How’s he doing?”

“Good. He texted me last night to check in when we’d just gotten to the hospital, so he was worried.”

Will nodded. It dawned on me that I’d asked him to stay behind while I went out to get air. He probably thought I’d done that so I could sneak off to talk to Declan. That hadn’t been my plan, but talking to Declan had made me feel better than I had since last night—and that had me feeling a little guilty. Will had been so amazing when it came to my father. He’d been pretty amazing, in general, the last few