The Heretic Wind: The Life of Mary Tudor, Queen of England by Judith Arnopp (best ereader for students TXT) 📕

Let battle commencein the morning, for tonight I will go to my bed happy, and confident that Godwill send us victory.

I sleep likeone blessed.

 St James’ Palace – November 1558

“And did God send you victory, YourMajesty? Was there a great battle?”

Anne’s voicedrags me back from the past. The chamber has turned quite, quite dark. I amsurprised to find myself in my bed, startled by the sudden ache in my joints,the gripe in my belly. For a while, I’d been young and victorious again; arightful queen taking back her throne.

As my consciousnessreturns to the miserable present, I wish I could have my life to live again.There are things I’d do differently, of course. I doubt there is a body onearth who would not make some small changes to the past. At the start of myreign I’d had such a sense of righteousness. I felt my trials were over and anew life beginning. If only I could have hung on to that feeling.

On the day whenNorthumberland’s army conceded, my future stretched out like an endless golden sea.I would restore the old ways; make England merry again. I would marry, bear astring of heirs, and lead the Tudor dynasty into a new era of unblemishedCatholicism. But I was blinded by it; by the crown, by the power, by false hope,by my own unshakeable faith.

I believed allEngland longed as I did for a return to the true church but I was wrong. I hadnot yet learned that most men yearn for power and wealth; they have little carefor the method of prayer. Even God in his Heaven cannot compete with the humanlust for power on Earth.

“No, Anne:there was no real battle. The people resisted Northumberland’s plan. Jane Greywas a stranger to the commoners but they had known me from my infancy, seen theindignities I had suffered. The people were the first to show their support forme and then, one by one, the knights and nobles followed. In the end, with fewsupporters left and knowing his cause was lost, Northumberland had no optionbut to surrender.”

“What did youdo?”

Her face comesinto clearer focus as she sits forward. I cannot make out the contours of herface but her hands are lit by the candle, and I notice they are clasped sotightly the tips of her fingers are turning white. I don’t remember ever havingenjoyed such a captive audience.

“What did I do?I sent the Earl of Arundel to arrest him, of course.”

“And whatabout Lady Jane?”

I sigh. PoorJane. I’d rather not think of that.

“Well, she waskept in the Tower. My hands were tied. I couldn’t let her go free. She hadallowed herself to be declared queen, she had endorsed an army to be sent outagainst me. My advisors urged me to take her head but … I couldn’t, in allconscience, do that. Honourable confinement was the best I could offer.”

“It must havebeen hard for you, she was your cousin.”

“Yes, it washard, and painful too. I’m glad you can see that. She might have been anannoying little Protestant who constantly tried to convert me but, first andforemost, she was my kin. We had been friends for a time. We had walked togetherin the garden at Chelsea with Elizabeth and Katherine Parr. Jane was family,and her betrayal was the worst of all … well, almost the worst.”

A door opens.I cough feebly and turn my face toward the sound of swishing skirts, unsure whoit is.

“Susan?”

“Yes, YourMajesty, it is me. I came to tell you that Sir Thomas Cornwallis has returnedfrom Hatfield.”

“Does he wishto see me?”

“I believe so,Your Majesty. I will tidy you up a little first before I summon him.”

I grimace atthe child as she rises from the bedside to allow Susan access. A thrill of coldtingles on my scalp as my cap is removed and a comb is gently run through mythinning hair. I wonder what I look like these days. It is a year or more sinceI was able to clearly see my face. Of course, my women assure me I am stillbeautiful to behold, but they’d hardly dare say otherwise.

Even in myyouth I was merely pleasant looking, never beautiful like my mother. I havemy father’s snub nose, his clenched stubborn chin, his direct gaze. A firm eyeis never appreciated in a woman. It gained me the reputation of being difficulteven before I’d had cause to be defiant about anything.

Susan bids mesit forward. I groan while she fastens a clean shawl about my shoulders andeases me back on the pillows.

“There,” shesays. “You look lovely now.”

“Do I, indeed?”I grumble. My head feels heavy, my neck aches. I slump on the pillows like anaged monkey. “Bring him in then,” I say.

After a while,brisk footsteps enter the chamber, I hear a nervous cough and a flurry ofmovement. I imagine Cornwallis has swept off his hat and is making a gallantbow. A ridiculous gesture since I cannot see it.

“Your Majesty,I hope I find you in good health.”

“No, sir, youdon’t. As must be quite plain.”

“Thephysicians will have you well in no time…”

“No. No, theywon’t. Now, enough of your flannel. What did my sister say? Did she manage tohide her glee long enough to wish me well?”

“She did, YourMajesty, and is most distressed by your present malady.”

“Codswallop.She can’t wait to see me in my tomb. Did she swear to uphold my laws, protectthe true religion?”

I squint, longingto be able to see the lie in his face as he makes reply.

“She did, YourMajesty. She also regrets that she cannot be with you in your time of…”

“I have nowish to see her.”

The only soundis the crackling of flames in the hearth, the sudden slump of a charred log. Icough at the smoke that wafts uninvited into the room.

“They’vealready begun to leave me, you know. Flocking to her at Hatfield, no doubt. Iimagine her court there is now larger than this one … just as her mother stolecourtiers from my mother, now she is stealing mine.”

He stumblesand stutters, unwilling to comment.

“Oh, be quiet,Cornwallis. You can go. Tell them to send that child