Aretha Moon and the Dead Hairdresser: Aretha Moon Book 2 (Aretha Moon Mysteries) by Linda Ross (pdf to ebook reader txt) 📕

Ralph’s pants looked like they’d been used to mop up a particularly big mess, and some of the food had splattered onto Eileen, giving her outfit a tie-dyed look.

Dad had grabbed a roll and the bowl of peas when things started sliding, and now he clutched them to his chest.  Momo was draining her glass.  “This is really good lemonade,” she said.

I looked at Jimmy, and he said, “I have to admit that this is more entertaining than football.”

“All right,” I said.  “Eileen, you go change, and I’ll start cleaning up.”

“What are we going to eat?” Eileen cried, staring at the devastation before her.

“I’ve got some hot dogs in the freezer,” I said.  “The dressing is still on the table, and we’ve got plenty of pie.  We’ll make do.”

So Eileen went to change her clothes, and Ralph sat back down, dabbing ineffectually at his pants with a napkin.  I got him a roll of paper towels, although I would have preferred to take him out in the yard and hose him down.  And for more reasons than just the food all over his clothes.  He was still making eyes at Darlene, and I had to restrain myself to keep from smacking him.

Jimmy went with me to get the hot dogs, and I said, “I can’t believe that jerk is still flirting with Darlene.”

“I could give Darlene my gun, and with any luck she’d shoot him.”

“Not Darlene.  With her luck, she’d shoot Momo and the pitcher of whiskey sours.  And we really need those whiskey sours.”

When Jimmy and I got back with the hot dogs, Eileen was changed, Ralph was sitting in his chair trying to flirt with Darlene, and Dad and Momo were picking at the food still lying on the tablecloth.  Tiffany and Desi had gone upstairs to share the video with their friends.  Someone, probably Dad, had turned the TV on, and a football game was blaring.

Jimmy and I cleaned up while Eileen defrosted the hot dogs in the microwave, then cut them up and heated them with some canned baked beans.

Once the table was clear, we put out new plates and silverware, and Eileen put the bowl of beanie wienies on the table.  “Sit and don’t move,” she ordered Ralph, who obediently did as he was told.

“Somehow I think this is all my fault,” Darlene said as she spooned food onto her plate.

“Nonsense,” I said.

“Something always goes wrong wherever I go.”

“I can’t imagine anything going wrong with you around,” Ralph said, and Eileen stared at him.

“Well, it does,” Darlene said.  “It’s like I’m cursed or something.”

“Maybe you just need to look at things differently,” I said.  “Put a positive spin on it.”  I couldn’t believe that I, the queen of the cynics, was saying this.

“You mean like that positive thinking stuff?” she asked.

“What’s positive drinking?” Dad asked.  “Is that some new program?”

“I really like this lemonade,” Momo said as she drained her glass.  She was beginning to wobble on her chair, and I shot a worried glance at Eileen.  We didn’t need to have Momo topple over.

“I think positive thinking is an excellent idea,” Ralph said, giving her a broad smile.  “I could help with that.”

Eileen was shooting him dark looks, but he wasn’t paying any attention.

Ralph was still trying to chat up Darlene when we’d finished the beanie wienies and were gorging ourselves on pie.  That’s when my phone buzzed.

I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the text.  I bit down my first reaction, which was to shriek and curse, and I handed the phone to Jimmy.  He read it and stood up quickly.  “Wait here,” he said.

I wanted to go with him, but I knew he was in cop mode.  I looked at the text again.

How’s your car looking now, bitch?  Happy Thanksgiving.

I looked out the window and saw Jimmy circling my car.  He took out his phone and took a photo on the driver’s side.  From where I was standing, I couldn’t see what was wrong.

I got myself another whiskey sour for fortification and waited.  Jimmy had slipped out quietly, and no one had noticed.  Darlene was blushing as Ralph poured on the charm, and Eileen was glaring at both of them.

Jimmy came back in, and everyone looked up when the door closed.

“I think you need to spend the night at my place,” he said to me.

“What??” Eileen demanded.  Her world must be upside down.  First, Ralph was hitting on Darlene, and now Jimmy was taking me home to his place.

“There’s been some damage to her car,” Jimmy said.  “And I don’t think she’s safe here.”

“But we were going to go shopping tomorrow,” Eileen said.

“We still can,” I told her.   “You can pick me up at Jimmy’s.”

“Well, okay.”

“Come on,” Jimmy said.  “Let’s get you and Nancy packed up.  I want to get you settled in before it gets dark.”

“You know Nancy is a serial pee-er,” I said.

“My house isn’t a hotel.  We’ll survive.”

As we walked past my car to the house, I saw a cracked windshield and a broken driver’s side window.

“There’s an iron brick on the seat,” Jimmy said.  “Looks like a door stop.  I’ll have the guys take it to the lab, but I doubt they’ll find anything.”

“How did we not hear that?” I asked.

“Your dad had the TV on as loud as it would go.  What worries me is the guy must have been watching and knew we were over here.  He must have parked somewhere and come on foot.”

I shuddered thinking about some weirdo creeping up on my house and car.  Not to mention  my dog.

I put together some clothes, my toothbrush, Tums and deodorant in a bag and filled a sack with Nancy’s