Apocalypse: Generic System by Macronomicon (shoe dog free ebook TXT) 📕

“Back in the Safe Zone, it was just me by myself, and it was scam or die. I was shaken out of my rut by the circumstances. There just wasn’t enough time to stop and let the fear catch up to me. But now...”

He motioned at the kids, sitting around the camp and telling stories to keep themselves entertained. Humans weren’t designed to struggle for their lives 24/7.

“Now I’ve got plenty of time to stew.”

He glanced up at Smartass. “You know, two months before I came here, I tried to kill myself? Didn’t take.”

Jeb shivered as a cold wind caressed the back of his neck. He glanced up to the smoking peak of the mountain and gave it the finger.

“And this fucking mountain keeps leering at me.”

“Huh?” Smartass cocked his head to the side.

“I don’t think it’s the smoke keeping the monsters at bay.” Jeb said. “Pretty sure this mountain is alive. I can feel it weighing down on me. Looking at me.”

Having a high Myst came with a few drawbacks. Like viscerally knowing you were squatting on an evil entity’s doorstep. He’d had strange dreams, the last few days.

“Thankfully, the only other person who can feel it is Ron, and he’s too young to have issues.” Jeb motioned to Ron, where the ginger was cackling madly at Brett’s fishing story.

“Hmmm.” Smartass crossed his arms in thought and did a little barrel roll in front of Jeb’s face.

“I’ve got an idea.” Smartass said. “As a fairy, I can cure your grumpiness, or at least treat it. But not for free.”

Jeb raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, how’s that?”

“I can’t tell you, then you’d do it for yourself. I need payment first.” Smartass said, holding out a hand and wiggling his fingers.

Eh, it’s worth a shot.

“…whaddya want?”

“Your fireball wand.”

“Try again.”

“The Fire-fly lantern.”

“Not a chance.”

“A custom-built wand sized for Faeries?”

“Uh-uh.”

“C’mon, all it would take is some dust and a tiny piece of metal.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d give you the means to light things on fire,” Jeb said, crossing his arms and scowling.

“Cheapskate!” Smartass said, stomping his feet midair.

“How about a magic squirt-gun?” Jeb asked.

“Oooh!” Smartass immediately brightened, fluttering around his head excitedly.

Jeb pulled out the water lens and carved a small chunk off of it.

All he had to do was make a tiny squirt-gun out of steel, a little chamber for the water to manifest, and a hole a little bigger than pencil lead for it to squirt out of.

In a matter of minutes, Jeb had a little squirt-gun, appropriately sized for his tiny grabby hands.

“NNNG!” Smartass grunted, desperately reaching for the gun while Jeb kept it out of his reach.

“If you use this on me, I will take it away from you.” Jeb said, trying to impress his seriousness on the flying pest.

“I got it, gimmie!” Smartass said.

Jeb handed the squirt gun to the mischievous fairy.

“Yesss,” Smartass chuckled evilly, running his hand over the shiny steel of his new toy.

He aimed it at a nearby rock and Jeb saw a flicker of Myst get siphoned into the contraption.

PSSST!

A thin beam of water shot out and dug into the ground, while the recoil sent Smartass tumbling violently away, water spraying in all directions.

“AIIIII!” The fairy shrieked as he struggled to correct his flight before hitting the ground.

The fairy came to a halt just before splatting on the ground like a bug on a windshield. He was panting, shivering, wide-eyed, and soaking wet.

“That. was. AWESOME!”

Up the pressure a bit more and it’d be a water cutter. Jeb thought.

“Well?” Jeb said.

“Well, what?” the fairy asked.

“Your side of the deal. You said you had a fairy way to make me less grumpy.”

“Ah yes,” Smartass said, flying up to Jeb’s shoulder again. “Stay still so I can work my magic.”

Smartass leaned in close and planted a kiss on Jeb’s cheek. “You did your best. Nobody blames you.”

“That was it?” Jeb demanded.

“You feel better?” Smartass asked.

He did, actually.

Jeb started laughing uproariously, slapping his knee. He kept going until he cried, and then he laughed some more.

***Casey***

“Hey guys.” Casey said as they watched Jeb’s sudden gale of laughter from the other side of the fire. “I think I’m seeing a fairy. Are fairies a thing?”

Amanda nodded.

“They’re a thing.” Ron said, glancing over at Jeb. The peg-legged man was half-sobbing as the fairy patted him on the head. “They’re not usually that nice, though.”

***The next day***

It was Jeb’s turn to watch the camp, and he found himself alone with Casey.

She was humming to her baby as Jeb’s homemade soup-pot stirred itself. Mike was kicking his heels on her shoulder, relaxing while their clothes were washing themselves in a sapient bucket of water.

It’s like beauty and the beast up in here. Jeb was half-tempted to suggest that she bring his wand to life so it could fire at its own discretion, but he was loath to let control of the powerful weapon slip away from him. It was like handing a stranger a brick of C-4.

You just don’t do it.

The way they were bouncing from task to task to her humming, Jeb was waiting for the animated objects to break into song and dance, but it never happened.

Jeb pushed himself to his feet, and the humming stopped as Casey tensed.

He sat across from Casey and tried the Scarab Stew, warmed by the fire-flies.

“Could use some salt,” Jeb said, giving her a halfhearted smile.

Casey pointedly ignored him.

“Where you from, Casey?” Jeb asked.

“New York.”

“Really?”

“Why do you care?” she asked.

“I don’t really. I’m just trying to lower your defenses and psychologically manipulate you into not being so mean to me.” Jeb answered honestly.