Apocalypse: Generic System by Macronomicon (shoe dog free ebook TXT) 📕

She choked off her words at Jeb’s raised brows, seemingly struggling internally. She had been mean to him, and it was more than she could rationalize to deny that. Jeb understood the mindset, though. She felt like he’d been mean to her, and had to defend herself…somehow.

Probably projecting someone else onto me.

“We’re from Tennessee!” Mike said helpfully, causing Casey’s cheeks to redden.

“How do you even – “ she said, glancing at her summoned angel.

“Tennessee! I’ve never been. What’s it like?”

“It sucks. Everyone there is garbage.”

“Now, don’t label a whole state as garbage because of your shitty parents.”

Casey stared at him, jaw gaping.

“How did you know?” Mike asked, frowning.

“I’m not dumb,” Jeb tossed her words back at her with what he hoped was a gentle smile. “You didn’t know the first thing about contractions. I saw the scars on your arm. You were hiding your accent. All that implies you probably ran away, and your parents were either absent or actively denying you critical support. Either one is inexcusable.”

“So what?” Casey said, crossing her arms.

“So who are you pissed at, that I remind you of?” Jeb asked.

“…My dad.” She said reluctantly.

“Ah. Well, nice talk.”

“That was it?” she asked, frowning.

“Yep.”

I should probably shave so I don’t come across as an old man, Jeb thought, rubbing his fuzzy chin as he stood. Now that Casey was aware of the emotional transference, she would sort it out on her own. He didn’t have to hammer it in. Could do more harm than good.

“Jeb, what are you doing over here?” Smartass said, landing on his head.

Casey followed the fairy’s movements with her eyes, causing Smartass to gasp.

“She’s looking at me!” Smartass said, tapping Jeb excitedly on the skull

“I can hear you.”

“Excellent!” Smartass said, jumping off Jeb’s skull and flitting down to land on baby Casey.

“Listen up woman!” Smartass said, posturing. “I am the reason your child breathes air, and by ancient compact she now belongs to me, her fairy godmother! Take care of her for now, because sometime in the future, I will – ACK!”

Mike tackled Smartass off of baby Casey, holding the fairy by the neck at arm’s length, sword giving off an energy Jeb could feel from his seat.

“You will not touch a hair on her head!” Mike shouted, spit flying into Smartass’s face, flaming sword poised for the kill

Casey clutched her baby closer, her face pale.

“Help me,” Smartass croaked, looking pitifully at Jeb with bulging eyes.

“You got yourself into this.” Jeb shrugged.

“And shepherds we shall be,” Mike said, staring death down at the little fairy.

“For Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand. That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee. And teeming with souls shall it ever be.

“In Nomine Patris, et Fili, et Spiritu – “

“I made it up! I’m sorry!” Smartass said, squirming in the angel’s grasp.

Mike stopped and glanced up at Jeb with a questioning look.

“In my experience, fairies basically make the rules up as they go. It’s only enforceable if you agree to it,” Jeb said.

Mike tossed the fairy away.

“Get thee away from my charge, pagan spirit.”

This place isn’t big enough for two tiny shoulder-sitting people.

Smartass stuck out his – her? – tongue and flew back up to Jeb’s hair.

“Smartass, are you a girl?”

“Duh. Can’t you tell?”

No, I can’t.

Casey watched the entire exchange with horror, her body slowly relaxing now that the tension was passed.

“Casey,” Jeb said, sitting back down. “There’s something I forgot to talk to you about, this little incident brought it to my attention.”

“Little!?” Smartass said, pulling on his hair.

“What?”

Jeb pointed at Mike. “That is not an angel.”

“Excuse me!?” Mike said, motioning to himself. “I am one hundred percent angel, leader of god’s armies, prince of the heavenly host.”

“Let’s try Occam’s razor.” Jeb said. “Do you think it’s more likely that not only does God exist, he saw fit to send an archangel to watch over you specifically? Or do you think it’s possible that your Myst simply took the shape of an angel, based on what you think one would be like?”

“Ummm.”

“Mike is your Tyler Durden.” Jeb said. “He’s friendly when you want to be friendly, he said the things you wanted to say to me, he did what you wanted done to the fairy trying to steal your baby.”

“I don’t know who Tyler Durden is.” Casey said, shaking her head.

Jeb sighed.

“The prayer he was quoting was from Boondock Saints.” Jeb said. “You ever seen that movie? I’ll bet you have.”

Casey blanched, her gaze turning vacant.

“The point is, since he’s your creation, you should be able to control him. I’m telling you this so when your Myst Core is a lot bigger, he doesn’t cut someone in half in a fit of pique.”

“Hah! That’s where you’re wrong!” Mike said, scratching the top of his head. “I’ve been around since the dawn of creation –“ he started jumping on one foot. “And I would know if –“

He started patting his head and rubbing his tummy at the same time.

“What in the heavenly host is going on!?” Mike demanded.

“I see,” Casey said, letting out a pained breath before glancing at Jeb. “Thank you.”

“Better to be aware of it,” Jeb said with a shrug.

***Days Later***

Amanda Courvar

Celebrant of Sabrin, level 28

Bret Courvar

Soldier, level 31

Jessica Stile

Assassin, level 34

Jebediah Trapper

Mystic Trapsmith, level 36

Ron Spencer

Mystic Taxidermist, Level 40

I think we’re ready, Jeb thought, going over the party composition as they stood in front of the dungeon leading deeper into the evil flaming mountain.

He felt like a bug standing on the tip of