The Devil Among Us by Ramsay Sinclair (most life changing books .TXT) 📕

expanse of blank space. A wound that wouldn’t stop seeping. Even the most gluttonous of meals wouldn’t be able to fix me or help to get my fill. I could eat and eat and the ravenous feeling wouldn’t dissipate. It was a sense of immediate loss.

I dissociated myself with the scenes happening around me and my world turned at a fraction or two lower than anyone else’s. A pulsating heartbeat pounded from my eardrums all the way to my calves, the only beating thing which informed me of my remaining life. Flashes of white lights pierced my brain and I couldn’t stand up straight without stumbling.

“DCI Reid is still in the fire,” I croaked barely above a whisper. “Please.” Having classified myself as a stubborn, independent man for years, crying out for help was alien, uncertain territory for me. But the words wouldn’t stop from tumbling past my stinging lips, a lump of dried blood setting off a metallic taste whenever my tongue glided past it.

Fire safety officers shoved past as I tried to fight against those that held me behind. Their luminous uniforms juxtaposed the thick of night, as billowed ashes of smoke coated my lungs in a smoggy texture that wasn’t overly different from that of a cigarette. If anything, the scent was comforting and reminiscent of those many moments I and DCI Reid had spent outside smoking.

“Sir, it’s going to be alright.” I heard DC Taylor’s voice talking to me and it jolted me back to earth. “Tony and I pulled you from the worst of the explosion, but you’re in a state of shock.”

The boy’s face shone from a sheen of sweat and his own skin was pierced from standing too close to the final outburst. Dirty gravel embedded in his eyebrows, coated in crimson specks. Spinning round to see Tony, Rebecca and Cillian staring at me with concern, a feeling of bewilderment spread over me.

“How did you…?” I started.

“DS McCall phoned us and requested backup for you here,” he tried to calm me. “She explained the basics and your location. Uniform caught the white van starting to flee out of the bay and they found four men inside along with the guns DCI Reid had stolen from evidence.”

“You know about--?” I started to realise they’d been caught up to date with everything.

“We know,” Rebecca interrupted. “Sarge gave us the rundown. No one blames you for this, Sir. It isn’t your fault,” she kindly rubbed my back as I shivered. “The fire safety team will retrieve DCI Reid from the building, and then he’ll be in the care of the emergency unit.”

We hushed upon seeing the ambulance team solemnly carry out a covered stretcher a few minutes later. Nobody had to tell me anything or explain what happened. The pang in my stomach did all the talking for us. My eyes tracked the stretcher from the ruined building until they bundled DCI Reid’s charred body into a vehicle that didn’t stay there for long. I wanted to run after him, to tell DCI Reid that he was forgiven for being such a reckless man but my legs simply wouldn’t cooperate.

The ambulance workers were slowly ascending on our team too. “They want you to stay with the medical crew. You’re in shock. You shouldn’t be talking, let alone walking,” Cillian added, and I noticed they were splashed in mud from the waist down.

Tony’s gigantic self helped to steady us and led me over to sit in the ambulance. A few women carried out a few different tests to make sure I was thinking straight. Which I clearly wasn’t.

“He’s dead.” I sat limply and mumbled it countless times whilst the firemen hosed away the angry flames in the distance. “I should’ve done more to stop it. Wrestled the lighter away from him somehow?” I came up with completely theoretical solutions to a frankly impossible problem. There was nothing anyone could do now; it was too late.

“I think it’s best if you stay quiet for now, sir,” Rebecca advised and handed me some water. I didn’t really feel like drinking it but did so anyway to please them. DC Taylor wrapped a foil sheet around me as though it would make any difference in the slightest. The rest of our constables gradually descended into stillness with grave looks on their faces.

It was selfish of me to think I was the only one affected by tonight. All of us had lost our DCI, a man who we’d spent nearly every day with for the past year. He was corrupt, yes. But he had a wife and a home life separate from work. Family, friends and hobbies away from the schemes and the lies. DCI Reid was once like us, only engulfed in a deeper state of despair. One which he couldn’t escape easily and didn’t feel he could share with anyone. His guilt for Iona had plagued him for thirty-five years.

“It’s over now, sir,” Cillian attempted to help and straightened out his rumpled suit. “We’re, uh.” He struggled to form the sentence he wanted to say.

“I think he’s trying to say that we’re here for you. As your team, but also as your friends,” Rebecca helped him, to which Cillian nodded gratefully. DC Taylor hummed agreeably, jet black hair ruffled from the harsh wind. He was sitting next to me inside the ambulance, resting against the uncomfortable seats. I was certain McCall had asked him to do so. “You can trust us. We’ll get through this together. If you need anything--”

“Anything at all.” DC Taylor repeated, keeping a supportive hand on my shoulder.

“We’re here.”

They finished and stared at me expectantly. The whoosh of flames was beginning to die down and firefighters yelled commands at each other. Tony was still out there, trying to find out as much information as possible for our sakes. He wasn’t afraid to get stuck in and help the firefighters. He was a strapping lad, tall and strong. Tony was exactly what they needed to lift