Not My Mother by Miranda Smith (lightweight ebook reader .txt) 📕

The next time Amelia saw Sarah at the center, she didn’t speak to her. Afterward, she followed her, trying to get a glimpse into this girl’s life. She saw the paltry restaurant where she worked. The young man who was always laughing and bouncing about, like he’d just told the best joke. The tiny brunette girl who smoked like a chimney. And there was Sarah between them, that ignorant smile on her face. She envisioned what Sarah’s life must be like. Poor. Uneducated. But with a child? Resentment filled Amelia, hardening her bones and souring her soul.

At dark, Amelia would return to her massive house in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods of New Hutton. She would park her expensive car in the garage. Whatever she desired for dinner, she could have. Whatever she wanted to drink was available in the cellar. Before bed, she’d change out of her designer clothes and into satin pajamas.

And she’d spend the rest of the night sleeping beside a husband who refused to touch her. Love had left their marriage long ago; perhaps it had never been there. Regardless, the Parkers were civilized people. Sure, Bruce and Amelia sought different things in life, had different dreams, but they were stuck on this journey together. Amelia desired a child more than anything, and even though Bruce was no longer interested in doing his part to make that happen, she knew he wouldn’t deny her the opportunity if she could create one.

Amelia arranged for Ms. Lang to take a job at another counseling center across town. It wasn’t hard convincing her to leave; Ms. Lang never cared much about her work, could not remember which of her patients were pregnant or not. Amelia shredded any files Ms. Lang had kept on Sarah, any documented proof of the pregnancy torn to shreds. The girl was so overwhelmed she hadn’t even gone to a doctor. Amelia knew she could arrange one when the time was right. Then she became Sarah’s new counselor.

Sarah opened up faster than Amelia ever expected. It was obvious how lonely and insecure she felt, especially after the boyfriend died. Amelia pitied her, becoming increasingly convinced she was doing what was best for both of them. And of course, she was doing what was best for the baby. As she listened to the girl babble about her future desires for her child—Caroline, she might call her—the wheels in Amelia’s mind turned. When she first suggested the possibility of adoption, she was surprised to hear Sarah had already considered it. Maybe this girl knew she wasn’t fit to be a mother, which only strengthened Amelia’s resolve to continue with her plan.

Once they started visiting the horse track, the two were more like friends. Of course, Amelia had to open up about her life, too. She told her about her struggle to conceive. The details in her story might have been fudged, but the crux of the story remained: Amelia wanted a child more than anything, and Sarah just might be the person to make that happen at last.

Then, finally, Sarah said it.

“Would you consider adopting her?”

All the months of planning and sacrifice had finally paid off. Sarah could see what Amelia always knew about herself: she would make the perfect mother.

Maybe she could finally get the life she always wanted. She deserved it, didn’t she? She deserved happiness. She deserved peace. She deserved Caroline.

47 MarionNow

The rain is heavy. The droplets have banded together and are plummeting down in thick gushes. I drive slower than normal on the way home, my windshield wipers operating like twigs against a flood.

The sound, however, is peaceful. I’ve always enjoyed falling asleep to the sound of rain. Ava must agree. She is out by the time we arrive back to the condo.

I do my best to unfasten the buckles of her car seat without disturbing her. I pull my jacket over as far as it will go, trying to shield her from the falling rain. I skip up the walkway, avoiding the puddles starting to pool along the curb, and quickly unlock the front door. I rush straight to her room, feeling that her clothes are not too damp and her diaper not too heavy beneath her jumper. I place her in the crib, and she exhales a breath of relief as she turns her head to the left, still deep in slumber.

I too exhale. She is asleep. She is safe. And this horrendous ordeal is almost over.

I wander back to the living room, which is still dark due to my hasty trek into the house. And yet, not so dark. The door, which I could have sworn I kicked closed, is cracked, a sliver of moonlight peeking inside.

“I thought you were having company.”

The voice behind me startles me so much I leap forward, closer to the door and light switch on the wall. I flick it, illuminating the room. Amelia stands in the kitchen. Her shoulders and hair are damp, as though she too just came in from the rain.

“Amelia? What are you doing here?”

“You said you had company. I didn’t want to interrupt you, but when I arrived, the house was dark. Then I saw you pull up, so I followed you in.”

“You really shouldn’t be here.”

“Why? It’s clear I’m not interrupting anything. We’re alone.” She takes another step closer. “Are you trying to avoid me?”

“No, but… it doesn’t matter. You don’t have the right to walk into my home.”

“Have you been to the hospital?”

“It’s none of your business where I’ve been. It’s late, and it would be best if you left.”

“Is Sarah awake?” She asks the question calmly, ignoring my demands.

“My mother’s name is Eileen.”

“So, she is awake?” A smile. “Have you spoken with her about me?”

“If you don’t leave, I’m going to call—”

“You might know her as Eileen. Mom. To me, she’ll always be Sarah. That poor girl in over her head. I tried to help her, you know.”

“Yes, actually. I know everything that happened