Darkroom: A Moo U Hockey Romance by Kate Willoughby (reading a book .txt) 📕

More tapping.

While he mulled it over, I tried not to think about the fact that this entire Pro-Indi campaign might be moot if she was never going to speak to me again. I had to believe that I could make things right between us and I planned to give some serious thought on the flight back about what I could do to convince her that she should give me a second chance. She was a rational person and, I hoped, a forgiving person, but I was going to have to do something incredible in order for that to happen because in the heat of the moment, when she was telling me things I didn’t want to hear, I’d purposely given her an emotional sucker punch that I knew would shut her up.

Fuck. I could still see the desolate expression on her face. Every time I tried to go to sleep, I saw all her feelings for me dim and go out like a candle starved of oxygen.

You know those stupid memes on social media where they ask, “If you could go back in time and tell your twelve-year-old self something, what would you tell them?” Hell, I’d settle for going back two fucking weeks so I could tell myself to not ruin the best thing that ever happened to me.

My dad cleared his throat, bringing me out of my reverie.

“Okay, so I want you to invite her to Christmas,” he said. “Tell her I’m sorry but that an apology from me will be coming her way the minute she walks in the door. We’ll start over fresh. You can tell her the Sabina story if you think it’ll help. Think she’ll be okay with that?”

“I hope so. First, I have an apology of my own to give her.”

“Eh? What’s that? What’d you do, son?”

I told him what I’d told AJ, that instead of thanking her for her concern over my hearing problem, I’d acted like it was all her fault.

“I can’t go into detail about what I said to her, but it was mean, Dad. Really mean.”

My dad reached out and mussed my hair.

“What the…?”

He was laughing. “That’s my boy. A chip off the old block.”

“Dad, seriously? You’re proud that I was a dick to my girlfriend?”

“Of course, I’m not proud. It sounds like you were a real horse’s ass to her. I’m more…amused than anything. Surprised too, if you want to know the truth. It’s not like you to be cruel.”

“Thanks,” I said. “So, what do you do when you’ve really messed up with Mom? When you’ve done something that’s so bad, the relationship reboot won’t cut it?”

He cleared his throat. “If you really want to know…”

“I do. I’m desperate. I don’t want to lose her, Dad.”

“Son, I’m afraid I don’t have any other strategy. The reboot is all I got.”

I sighed heavily.

“I mean sometimes I end up buying her something, but that’s always a last resort.”

“Yeah, I don’t think a present’s going to work with Indi.”

“Does she know you love her?”

“I told her I did.”

My dad laughed softly. “There’s your problem, son. You told her.”

“What, was I supposed to keep it a secret?” I snapped.

“No. If you want to keep her, you should tell her every day, but even more important than the words are your actions. You told her you loved her. Fine. Now, I think, you need to show her.”

36

Indi

The response to the selfie I’d posted in that PWS Facebook group floored me. I’d been afraid to return to the group for fear of rejection. I shouldn’t have been. When I ventured back onto Facebook on Sunday, I saw the people there had welcomed me with open arms and hundreds of messages of encouragement, admiration, support and congratulations. Michaela sent me a private message.

Michaela: You were so brave to post your picture. I’m glad what I wrote helped you.

Indi: It helped me a lot and I’m so grateful. I recently had a bad experience with my boyfriend making fun of my birthmark and I really needed that boost of confidence.

Michaela: Oh no. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?

I poured out my whole story and Michaela reacted much like Ruby had—with anger and shock but where Ruby had a hard time reconciling the cruelty, Michaela and I knew from personal experience, people were capable of that and worse.

Indi: I’m trying to get over him by referring to him as the ICW—the insecure cock waffle.

Michaela posted about twenty laughing emojis.

Michaela: Forget about him. Concentrate on your own journey. Have you thought about taking the next step? Going outside without your makeup?

Indi: Yes, I have. I’ve dreamed about it but it’s…scary. I remember what it was like when I was younger…the pointing, the staring, the name-calling and everything.

Michaela: I’m not gonna lie. You’ll still get stared at and people will whisper, but here’s what I try to do now. I try to assume it’s because they’ve never seen a PWS before, because a lot of the time, that’s what it is, ignorance. It’s natural to be curious or confused about something you have no experience with. Like if I saw a person with only one ear, I would wonder what happened. Right?

Indi: I never thought about it that way, but you’re right.

Michaela: Okay, so if you’re ready—and it’s okay if you’re not—go out and get some fast food through the drive thru, something like that. Then the next time, go into a store or go for a walk. Tiny steps to build up your strength. Courage is a muscle that has to be used or it atrophies.

After we said goodbye, I knew exactly how and where I was going to reenter the world as Indi, the Original. I just needed to set it up.

Around four o’clock that same afternoon, I was sitting in my car for a moment to gather my nerve. In the rearview mirror, I saw my birthmark was looking pretty eggplanty.