Darkroom: A Moo U Hockey Romance by Kate Willoughby (reading a book .txt) 📕

But aside from his face, he was a sight for sore eyes. I’d missed him so much. So many times I’d wanted to reach out to him, but I couldn’t. He’d been the one in the wrong, so he was the one who had to make the first move. I loved him and I wanted more than anything for things to be right with us again, but not if it cost me my self-respect.

“It’s more about what I’m going to do,” he said, closing the door behind him. He turned to Ruby, who stared at him with obvious disdain. “I’d like to talk to Indi. Alone.”

Ruby looked to me for guidance and I nodded my agreement.

“Okay, fine,” she said. “But if you need me to kick his ass out of here, just say the word.”

She gave Hudson a threatening “I’ve got my eye on you” stare then went into her room and shut the door. I liked knowing she had my back.

I felt calm as we each took a seat at the tiny dinette.

“So what’s with your face?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“I’ll get to that in a sec. First, I want to tell you how sorry I am for what I said to you. I did the worst thing someone could have done to you and the only excuse I have is that I was temporarily insane.”

“That is such a bullshit excuse it’s not even funny, cock waffle!” Ruby yelled through her door.

Even though I would probably end up telling Ruby what happened later, that didn’t mean I wanted her listening real time.

“Come on,” I said, “we’d better go into my room.”

Once we settled again, him on my bed and me on the chair by my desk, I said, “All right, let’s hear it. Tell me how you were temporarily insane, because I have to agree with Ruby. That’s a pretty bullshit excuse.”

“I know it sounds like bullshit, but I don’t know how else to explain it. I just lost my shit. I was scared out of my mind that I was never going to play in the NHL and it would have been all my fault for ignoring everything my body was trying to tell me. Everything you were trying to tell me.” He sighed. “The truth is, I knew something was seriously wrong with my ears and was too afraid to do anything about it, except lash out at you when you tried to help me. That was wrong and I hate myself for how much I must have hurt you.”

“You did hurt me,” I said softly, but he frowned.

“Sorry. I didn’t catch that.”

Of course he hadn’t.

“I said, you did hurt me. You stabbed me right in the heart, Hudson. After everything I shared with you about my birthmark, you knew how sensitive I was about it and you went ahead and made fun of me anyway.”

His face contorted into a mask of anguish. “I know. It was the meanest thing I’ve ever done and not a second goes by that I don’t wish I could go back and do it all differently. But I was freaking terrified my hockey career was over. I just wanted you to stop talking so I could stay in denial instead of face it like a mature human being.”

His voice caught and I looked up to see his head bent, his shoulders shaking. He was crying. It hurt to see him suffering like this and I wanted to hug him, but at the same time, part of me was glad. I’d certainly shed my share of tears over this the past couple of days, so I stayed where I was and let him twist in the wind a while.

Eventually, I took pity on him and handed him a tissue.

“Did you at least go to the doctor?” I asked as he blew his nose.

He nodded. “Yes. I did and you were right.” He looked up at me, his eyes still bright with tears. “I have otosclerosis.”

My hand flew to my mouth and I gasped. Everything shifted. Before he’d said that, my hurt feelings were front and center. I’d been the victim of a bully once again, and despite the pain, that was familiar and even comfortable territory. But now, everything that had happened between us that night faded into the background. Yes, he’d said some heinous things, but no one went through life without saying things they didn’t mean. The hurt hadn’t completely gone away, but it would eventually. Time would heal this particular wound, but it wouldn’t help Hudson.

“Oh my God. How bad is it? What are you going to do?”

He wiped his nose, smearing some of the face paint, then tossed the tissue in the trash. “I’m getting hearing aids. I have an appointment with the audiologist tomorrow. We’re trying to be optimistic. It’s possible that the hearing aids will work well enough for me to get my game back where it used to be. But the doctor said there’s no stopping what’s happening in my ears. Whether it’ll progress slowly or quickly, there’s no way to know. We just have to wait and see.”

I went to sit next to him on the bed, close enough so that our thighs were touching. “Have you told your family?”

He nodded. “My dad took it surprisingly well. I mean, first he ripped me a new one for not addressing the problem sooner, but yeah. I’m still standing.” He gave me a half smile.

“And the Dragons? Do they know?”

“Not yet. I kind of want to wait until I test out the hearing aids.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. They deserve to know what’s going on.”

“But what if they decide to drop me?”

“Then we’ll deal with it. Other teams might want to pick you up. You were chosen in the first round, after all, and that counts for a lot. I asked around.”

He looked at me