Lisa Heidke by Lucy (mobi) (rosie project .TXT) 📕

his overactive penis at home where it belongs. Therefore, according to the rules of polite society, it’s all my fault and I should feel guilty and ashamed. Well, guess what? I’m over that crap! Yes, I’m mortified because Max is an idiot and has been slandering me, but I’m over feeling accountable for his behaviour.

I try to focus on my breathing: in with the good, out with the bad. The air is cool so the tears falling on my cheeks are cold. I’m shivering. The racket in my head is so loud I can barely hear the traffic noise.

‘They wanted to interview me for that story,’ Patch says when he finds me in a corner re-reading Max’s article and crying.

‘What did you say?’

‘I told them to fuck off. I said you’re really cool and it should have been you who walked out on the prick and you should have done it years ago.’

‘I bet they were thrilled to hear that.’

‘Yeah, not at all. I told them how Max never gave us the time of day, is an up-himself snob and has as much class as a farting dog.’

Despite Patch’s attempts to make me feel better, I’m dreading reading the things Trish has told New Idea in reply to Max’s article. The good news is I only have to wait another six days to find out.

Day 59

Sandy calls an early morning meeting to discuss the ‘Max issue’ - i.e. the tell-all interview with New Idea. andy

‘I’m worried that we’re going to look like fools doing a show about Lucy when she’s so obviously unhinged.’

‘Excuse me, I’m right here,’ I say. ‘And I’m not unhinged. Don’t you think that Max is the one who’s coming across as slightly insane?’

‘Not really. Anyway, that’s not the point,’ Sandy replies.

‘That little old lady really stuck it up you.’

‘I don’t know why. All I was doing was trying to retrieve bags from a clothing bin - my own bags. Besides, she was crazy. She kept calling me Sophia.’

‘Again, not the point.’

‘Come on, Sandy, any publicity’s good publicity, hey?’ Gloria says.

‘Not if it involves our supposed star being portrayed all over town as a crazed alcoholic spendthrift who beats up little old ladies.’

‘I guess Sandy’s talking damage control,’ Gloria says quietly. ‘You can remain dignified, Lucy, but you need to explain your side of the story. Tell the public that your husband is a dirty stinking rotten philanderer who’s always been jealous of your success. In fact, I’ll do the interview.

You can just sign your name to it.’

‘You can’t do that,’ I tell her.

‘Watch me.’

‘No, Lucy’s right,’ says Sandy. ‘We need more than that.

We need face-to-face airtime, like an interview with A Current Affair.’

I shake my head. This isn’t going well.

‘You can’t hide otherwise everyone will believe Max’s story. You know how gullible the public are,’ Gloria starts.

‘Exactly! We have to come up with a solution or we’re pulling the plug on this program,’ Sandy chips in.

So the three of us sit on the new stairs, drinking coffee and putting our heads together to work out a plan that will see Max humiliated and run out of town. At least, that’s my intention. No doubt Gloria would like to see Max dead, while Sandy just wants a successful, high-rating new television program on her résumé.

‘There’s really only one option,’ says Gloria. ‘You have to do an interview with Today Tonight.’

‘No,’ says Sandy. ‘It has to be A Current Affair.’

‘Fine,’ Gloria agrees.

‘Hang on,’ I say. ‘What do I tell them?’

‘The truth. That Max left you. That you never had a breakdown, and you threw him out of the house because he ran off with your babysitter. The welfare of your children comes first.’

‘Which is exactly why I haven’t done an interview in the first place.’

‘Too bad. You have to,’ Sandy says.

‘The public will be on your side, Luce,’ Gloria assures me.

‘They’d better be,’ says Sandy.

‘I’m onto it.’ Gloria picks up her mobile and punches in some numbers.

Max turns up while I’m raking leaves in the garden. ‘There you are,’ he says. ‘I brought you some more roses.’

I glance at him briefly and continue raking.

‘I’m sorry about the article, Luce. I only did it to get your attention. I didn’t think that Tina bitch would print everything I said. I was only venting, I didn’t mean it. I just want you back in my life. I want us to be together again.’

‘Fuck off, Max.’

‘What? I’ve brought you flowers!’

‘Just get out. Take your flowers with you.’

‘Luce, can’t you see I’m begging for forgiveness here?’

‘You’ve got a funny way of showing it.’

‘Please. I’ve felt so neglected these past couple of years, what with your career taking off again. I was always last on your list of priorities. There were the kids, then your career and then me - in that order. When the renovation started, I slipped further down the ladder. I’ve been so lonely. I’m lonely now.’

Max is fucking lonely. He’s gone a couple of nights without sex and he’s horny.

‘Go back to Alana,’ I tell him. ‘She’s desperate for you. So’s her mother. I don’t want you.’

‘I just wanted you to notice me again. I’m a man, Luce, I have needs.’

Please! Is there a violin in the house? The old ‘I only had an affair so you’d notice me’ line is so pathetic. I’m not bitter anymore, but I still think Lorena Bobbitt was onto something.

‘I have noticed you, Max. In fact, I’ve heard you loud and clear. You have needs. I get that. And I think Alana is just the woman to fulfil them. End of story.’

‘So that’s it, is it? You’re going to discard me like that?’ Max snaps his fingers.

‘It’s been a long time coming.’

Rock, Patch, Sandy and Gloria appear in the garden. They see me and start walking over.

‘You wait,’ Max starts, his tone furious.

‘Keep your voice down,’ I whisper. ‘Please, just leave me alone.’

But Max ignores me. ‘Hey, you,’ he says, pointing to Rock. ‘Did you sleep with my wife?’

‘I’m not your