Apocalypse: Generic System by Macronomicon (shoe dog free ebook TXT) đź“•
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- Author: Macronomicon
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His foot –scratch that, stump – was wrapped in bloody rags that were only showing a bit of red from oozing blood.
If he weren’t quite so freaked out, he might have given himself a pat on the back for doing such a good job with the wound care despite the morphine burning a hole through his short-term memory.
“Goddamnit, half the MRE’s are gone,” a man’s voice called from the other side of the tree, causing Jeb to stiffen up and hold his breath.
“Looks like most of the weapons and armor are still here, though.” Another voice joined the first.”
People!
Jeb leaned over, battling a sudden dizziness as he crawled around the side of the mossy oak.
He almost faceplanted before he managed to drag himself back into a seated position facing the seven humans rummaging through his crates.
“Oh, would you look at that!” the biggest one, an oversized man with a shaved head and a great bushy beard said, turning to face Jeb. He was wearing heavy armor which exposed thick, bulging muscles arms, and wore an oversized axe on his back.
“The corpse wasn’t a corpse after all.” He gave a meaningful glance at a nearby man, slender with receding hair, wearing just a leather cuirass.
“I’m sorry boss,” the man said, throwing his hands up. “I’m not a doctor. I din’t feel no pulse.”
“Well, whatever,” the boss said, glancing Jeb up and down. “He’s not a corpse yet. Come on, Kyle, pack up the food,” he grabbed an extra backpack and tossed it to a younger looking teen who kept casting uncertain looks at Jeb.
“Are you…robbing me?” Jeb asked,
“I don’t think of it as robbing, so much as not wasting the resources on people who’ve got Less’n a snowball’s chance in hell.” The leader said, unconcerned by Jeb’s stare.
“Why, you gonna try and stop us?” The leader asked, glancing over his shoulder at Jeb.
They both knew the answer to that.
“Maybe we should grab the sword, too. It looks solid.” One of the seven said, a short man with wispy hair, looking over at Jeb’s blade.
“Try it,” Jeb growled, holding the blade out. “And lose some fingers.”
He was absolutely sure he didn’t strike a very intimidating pose with his back slumped against the tree, missing a foot.
One of the seven, a woman with piercing blue eyes, pulled out an arrow and aimed it at Jeb’s face, heedless of the fairy sitting on top of it, waggling its feet.
They can’t see them?
“Naw, Everyone, calm down. I’m a firm believer that everyone deserves a shot.” The big man said with a grin. “Not that kind of shot. A chance. We’re not gonna kill a guy for a blade when we’ve got so many to choose from already.”
True, they looked pretty well armed already.
“Now get over here and pack up, our friend there knows we’ll kill him if he moves away from his tree.”
The icy-eyed woman put the arrow away, forcing the fairy to take flight or fall.
“Do the bikini armors work?” Jeb asked, raising his voice to cut through the din of people sorting through his shit, deciding what to take based on weight and relative value.
The bald mammoth of a man chuckled and shook his head, eyes twinkling with mirth. “No, they do not.”
“Damn.” Jeb briefly considered offering them a trade, medical supplies for information on the layout of the forest, then decided against it. He didn’t want to give these mercenary fucks anything more, especially not something so valuable as information.
His hard-won information.
Besides, I’ve got an idea for how to get some of what I need back.
In another half-hour, they left him alone, treading into the west, toward the raptor part of the forest.
They’d left a few of the less useful supplies behind, things that were heavy, like sledgehammers, or functionally useless as a weapon, like the garrote wire.
Hah, they left the atlatl. Took the arrows and spare bows, though.
Most of the bladed weapons were taken, leaving Jeb’s shortsword and a left-handed cleaver. All the medical supplies were gone –assholes– along with the food and sundries.
Assuming he didn’t get gangrene and die, his next concern would be dehydration, followed by starvation, and then finally finding something to wipe his ass with.
Still, I’ve got a solution for some of these problems.
Jeb detached the shield strapped to his arm and dug into his front pocket with his trembling left hand, pulling out a bag of M&Ms and shaking it in the air.
“Who wants to earn some M&M’s?”
“Ooh, me, me!” fairies literally came out of the woodwork, jumping up and down in excitement.
There were a lot more than last time.
That one fairy who left must have brought more.
“Now, the person who steals the most of my shit back without anyone noticing gets a whole M&M! Hard candy coating with that perfect crunch, and a soft chocolaty center. These have been warming up in my pocket, so you know the insides are soft and delicious.”
The fairies lost their damn minds.
“Hey bossman,” Jeb called after the fairy leader, who was about to streak through the sky at his bidding. “I’ve got a better offer for you.”
“Really?” The fairy said, flitting down to sit on his wounded leg. Jeb resisted the urge to swat him off.
“Yeah, do you know how Myst works?”
“Of course.”
Jeb felt like facepalming.
“And could you teach me how to use it?”
The fairy boss of the tree scowled, looking Jeb over with pursed lips. The Fairy realized he had the upper hand, now.
“This is powerful knowledge, of great
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