Myth 18 - MythChief by Asprin, Robert (good non fiction books to read .TXT) 📕

The captain of the guard, a russet-​colored Fox, raised an eyebrow. “Attempting to bribe royal officers? Is that what you are trying to do?”

“Only if it will work,” I said, winningly. “I'd rather not cause any trouble. My friends and I just want to get out of here.”

“Who are your friends?” the captain asked, suspiciously.

“No one,” I said, trying to get a disguise spell going on my companions, but I wasn't fast enough. The wizard coun-​tered me with a blast from his wand. “No one at all,” I added lamely.

“Why, that's Princess Hermalaya,” a brown-​furred Swamp Fox declared, gazing at the white-​pelted maiden in our midst.

“It is her!” said the wizard.

“Seize them!” the captain bellowed. The guards surged forward and surrounded us.

“What?” Massha asked. “Are you people out of your minds? This is your princess.”

“That's right, ma'am,” the captain said. “And she is un-​der a writ of exile, as signed by our current ruler, Prime Minister Matfany.”

Massha went over to tickle him under the chin with a thick forefinger. “You're not going to listen to that old meanie, are you?”

The captain recoiled. “Ma'am, you are our prisoner, too. Take them away!”

“Look, here, guys,” I said. “Let's be reasonable. You are going to take us down and lock us up in the dungeon. And then, what? You all know what's in that writ. You're going to have to take that sweet young lady, whom you have all known since she was a little girl sitting on her fa-​ther's knee, and you're supposed to put her to death.” I flipped a hand toward Hermalaya, who, wrapped up in her oversized white apron, was looking as demure and helpless a damsel in distress as I could ever have wished. “You don't look like the kind of heartless types who can drag their very own princess down the dark steps to the cold, dank, stone cells and listen to her cries for mercy while you prepare for an execution that every one of you knows is completely unjust?”

I had hit my stride now. The guards, even the grizzled veterans, had tears in their eyes. The younger ones broke into open sobs.

The captain turned to the wizard. “I just can't do it.” The wizard looked just as distressed. “Neither can I.”

“Gentlemen,” Hermalaya said, coming over to lay a gentle hand on each of their wrists. “You must do what you all have to do. I don't want you to get in trouble? I took my chances coming back here, and it just didn't work out. That's the way life is. My daddy would want me to march down there with my head held high and take what I've got coming to me.”

“No, princess,” the captain said. He pulled a handker-​chief out of his sleeve and put his long nose into it. HONK! “We just won't do it. We love you. We're not gonna listen to that old Matfany.”

“But you have to,” Hermalaya said. “He is the law.”

“No, ma'am,” the wizard said, with a little smile. “We are the law. He is the administrator. Most of the guard works for Matfany because they like getting paid. This particular squad here is the lawful opposition. Most of the others don't talk to us much because we won't openly re-​nounce you. You are downright lucky that it was us all on duty today. Everybody else is all out there running around after those out-​of-​towners.”

“What out-​of-​towners?” I asked.

“Strange-​looking types.” He eyed Chumley up and down. “No offense, sir.”

“Okay,” Chumley replied, reduced to playing Big Crunch in front of strangers.

“Go on out of here, honey,” the captain said with tears in his eyes. “We'll keep it quiet this time, but don't come back again. Look back on the good old days and think about us sometime.”

Hermalaya gave him and the wizard a big hug. “Oh, I will! You all are so kind? My daddy would be so proud of you. I know I am.”

“There are good new days to come,” I promised, “once we get rid of Matfany.” The guards looked at each other. “We're with you, sir,” they whispered. I didn't dare wait another moment for them to change their minds. I gathered up a big ball of magik. BAMF!

“”We've won!“ I announced jubilantly to Bunny. I shook my bell pouch at her. The jingle was loud enough I could have attracted hordes of Deveels from all over the Bazaar. Massha set down her handbag. Nunzio and Chumley turned out handful after handful of coins until her desk was a glittering mass of shiny yellow. ”And there's plenty more where that came from,“ I concluded, as Hermalaya offered the little clay pot. Bunny ignored the pile of coins. I realized that Tananda was there, wrapped in a blanket with her hair plastered to her head. Both of them looked worried. ”What's wrong'.' Where's Aahz?"

“Skeeve, we have a problem.” “What kind of problem? Where's Aahz?”

“He's back in Foxe-​Swampburg.” Tananda said. “The Old Folks have been causing a bunch of trouble for Mat-​fany, so Aahz thought it would be a good idea to go and placate them. Well, you know, tact is not exactly his long suit.”

“No kidding,” said Massha.

Tananda shrugged. “The upshot is that they left us in the swamp. They've got Guido, too.”

“'Where's Matfany?” Hermalaya asked, anxiously.

“Him, too,” Tananda said. “In fact, they're angrier at him than they are at us. I was the only one who could get out. You