Etiquette and Vitriol by Nicky Silver (best books to read for students TXT) 📕

BISHOP: And the sun came up. And we sat on the floor, the craphead and me.

PHYLLIS: That was good. Do you want to watch TV?

BISHOP: We have to go!

PHYLLIS: Maybe something good is on the morning movie.

BISHOP: We have to get out of here. You said it yourself.

PHYLLIS: Maybe African Queen—

BISHOP: Someone’ll find us.

PHYLLIS: Or Philadelphia Story or Adam’s Rib—

BISHOP: Someone will find them!

PHYLLIS (Growing desperation): Or Break of Hearts! Or Morning Glory!

BISHOP: You know we can’t stay here!

PHYLLIS: I could miss The Lion in Winter! Or Christopher Strong! Or Woman of the Year!

BISHOP: We have to go back!

NESTOR: She wouldn’t cooperate?

BISHOP (To Nestor): I didn’t understand.

PHYLLIS: We could play with my shoes?

BISHOP: We can bring your shoes.

PHYLLIS: It’s a lot. I can’t carry them all.

BISHOP: I’ll carry half.

PHYLLIS: I want to see Bringing Up Baby!

BISHOP: They’ll find them. They’ll catch us.

PHYLLIS: Who?

BISHOP: The police.

PHYLLIS: I thought they were morons?

BISHOP (Forceful): People are up. We have to go.

PHYLLIS: I can’t.

BISHOP: Why not?

PHYLLIS: I’m afraid.

BISHOP: Of what?

PHYLLIS (After a moment): You of course.

BISHOP: I protect you.

PHYLLIS: And . . .

BISHOP: What?

PHYLLIS: You kill people.

BISHOP: But I love you.

PHYLLIS: So?

BISHOP (To Nestor): She wouldn’t come.

NESTOR: And then?

BISHOP: Do you want to go to prison?

PHYLLIS: No.

BISHOP: You will. They’ll lock you away and never let you out.

PHYLLIS: But I didn’t do anything wrong.

BISHOP: They don’t care. Everyone is guilty and they’ll put you away.

PHYLLIS: What’s on TV?

BISHOP: You’ve got to come.

PHYLLIS: Don’t make me.

BISHOP: I won’t leave you.

NESTOR: Why not?

BISHOP: I love her!

PHYLLIS: You have to.

BISHOP: I do what I want!

PHYLLIS: You have to go.

BISHOP: I’ll stay with you.

PHYLLIS: You’ll get on my nerves.

BISHOP: I’ll be quiet.

PHYLLIS: No. No. Bishop. You go. You go without me. You’ll kill me someday, if I come.

BISHOP: Maybe not.

PHYLLIS: So kill me now. I’m tired.

BISHOP: What?

PHYLLIS: Kill me now.

NESTOR: She asked you?

BISHOP (To Nestor): SHUT UP!

PHYLLIS (Positive; with love): We’ve done such things.

BISHOP: I don’t understand.

PHYLLIS: I can’t go on with you and don’t want to without you. Please.

BISHOP: You hate me. You wish I was dead.

PHYLLIS: No. I love you. But see what I made.

BISHOP: I can’t.

PHYLLIS: You can. You said it. It feels wonderful. It feels like running and running.

BISHOP: Don’t make me.

PHYLLIS: Make me proud. Please, Bishop.

(Bishop and Phyllis embrace.)

BISHOP: I love you, Phyllis.

PHYLLIS: I love you, Bishop.

(They kiss. It is long and romantic. As they kiss, he lowers her to the ground; there is no overt act of violence, but she is dead. Bishop rises and addresses the audience.)

BISHOP: I am Bishop Hogan, that is my name, I am not a deacon of the church. I killed my father and his mistress and the next day, my mother, whom I loved. . . . It was the judgment of the court that I was mentally ill at the time of these acts. . . . And it was my mother’s fault. And my father’s. And my own. Because I am what I create: And I understand that I must stay awake all the time, because when I sleep, when I shut my eyes, the monkeys come again. And it is no one’s fault. It is the nature of the monkeys.

END OF PLAY

*Substitute actual elapsed time since Act II killing of Howard.