In The Beginning by Gail Daley (top 100 books of all time checklist .TXT) 📕

collapsing forward hard into my chest with a wail. I stood in stunned silence as she cried; her words had hit me harder than any weapon ever had. She’s been worried about me this whole time. Not her adventures, or her safety, but my...soul? I ran my hand through her hair softly to give her what little comfort I could. Leaning down, I rested my forehead lightly against the top of her head and whispered, “It’s okay...It’s okay.”

The light in the room had dimmed significantly when Lia finally pulled away. I sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to me. She sat down slowly, purposely avoiding any eye contact as she looked straight down at the floor. Placing my hand on top of hers, I gave it a gentle squeeze. “That’s been bothering you for a while now, hasn’t it?” She gave a small nod. I leaned back and sighed, closing my eyes.

“It’s been bothering me, too. I don’t know what that magic was; I’ve never seen anything like it in all my lives.” A shiver ran down my spine. “I’ve been having nightmares about it lately. About what I did to Jack. Whatever he did, or was going to do, it didn’t justify that torture.” I let the words sit in silence for a while. “I don’t regret killing those men. The world is better off without people like them walking the streets. But how it happened…”

I put an arm around Lia’s waist and pulled her into a hug. My chin rested on her shoulder and the smell of her perfume filled my nostrils as I spoke softly into her ear. “You do make me happy, Lia. Before I came to your world, I hadn’t truly smiled in years. And the people I met on my arrival here didn’t help with that either. But you…” I trailed off for a moment, a smile coming to my face. “From our first conversation, I knew you were a good person. And being around you makes me a better person, too.”

Lia wrapped her arms around my chest and embraced me, squeezing hard enough to pop a few of my joints. She buried her face in my neck and I felt the heat of fresh tears against my skin. “That’s why I want to keep you safe, Lia. No matter where I go, bad things seem to follow me. I thought maybe if I could get us out of the country, things would be different, but...it doesn’t seem like it’ll be that easy.”

“I’m staying with you. No matter what.” Lia’s voice was muffled as she spoke into my shoulder. “You’re a good person too, Lux. No matter what you’ve done, or how you feel, I see the good in you. I’m not leaving you alone just because things could get dangerous later.” She pulled away from the embrace and placed her hands on my chest, her face just a few inches from mine. “I’m here because I want to be.”

The look of pure love on her face was clear, which sent a sharp pang of guilt through my mind. I tipped my head forward to rest my forehead against hers and closed my eyes. “Lia...thank you.” Struggling to find the right words to express how I felt, I spoke unsteadily. “I’m sorry that I can’t...give you everything you want from me. If things were different, it would be an easy decision, but I...I can’t forget my old life, and—”

“It’s okay, Elden.” The whisper sent chills down my spine. “Amaya is still out there somewhere, waiting for you. I know you’re still waiting for her too.” A tear dripped down my nose as Lia spoke. “You give me everything I could ever want just by being with me. Please, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just let me stay with you.”

“Of course...of course you can stay.” I nodded weakly. We sat together for a long time, until the sun had fallen well below the horizon outside to leave us in the near darkness of night. I took a deep breath and sat up straight, giving Lia’s hands a quick squeeze against my chest before I stood and crossed to the table. Turning the small crank at the base of our lantern, a spark flicked the oil lamp to life and filled the room with orange light and dancing shadows.

“We’ll have to do some things differently now, given this new information,” I remarked, motioning to the crumpled wanted poster on the table. “I’ll have to rely on you to handle any sort of face-to-face interactions, at least until we make it to Lybesa. Do you think you can do that?”

Lia hopped to her feet and hurried over to me, giving a large nod. “You can count on me!” Her eyes were still bloodshot from crying, but she gave me a radiant smile. “I’ll go down to the common room and get us some stew. Hopefully there’s still some left.”

I rubbed my stomach as a hunger pang shot through it at the idea of a substantial dinner. “That’s a great idea. It’s already paid for, so we might as well take advantage of it.” I sat down at the table and pulled out my coin purse. “I’ve got some things to look over here anyways. Hurry back, okay?”

“Will do!” Lia headed out into the hallway, locking the door behind her as she left. Once I heard her footsteps fade away, I pulled out the second purse that Marten had given me before we left. I winced as I imagined him laughing at how uncomfortable the gift had made me.

He just called it a dowry to mess with me. It’s fine. I tugged on the drawstrings and upended the pouch on the table. To my great surprise, the entire bag had been filled with silver steins. Shifting them methodically into piles I counted out forty silvers in total, all shining up at me with a flickering orange smile. Two full Imperiums...just