Don't Look Behind You (Don't Look Series Book 1) by Emily Kazmierski (ereader iphone txt) 📕

“Taryn didn’t just tolerate you. She thinks of you as a friend.”

Noah shakes his head. Glances between my mirror image and me as if he’s still in disbelief that the girl he knows as Megan is actually two separate souls. “I didn’t. You meant more to me.”

I don’t miss the past tense in what he says. I meant more. As if I don’t mean anything to him now. My heart, which had just begun to draw its jagged pieces into something resembling one piece, splinters into impossibly tinier bits.

“Noah, please…”

The crunch of tires over gravel grabs our attention, and the four of us turn to see the sheriff’s car making a three-point turn on the driveway. The engine cuts off and the man swings out the driver door, thumbs in his belt as he saunters closer.

Agent Biel stops him with a hand.

“I’ll have to talk to them sometime, Ma’am,” he drawls, cutting a glance through Noah and me and settling on Taryn. “Guess I can give you a little more time.”

“Thank you,” Agent Biel says.

“He knew too?” Noah asks, incredulous. Rakes a hand through his curls. “I’m such an idiot.”

The sheriff lolls his head lazily to one side. “You think the FBI would hide their only witnesses in their case against the most violent serial killer this state has seen in a decade in my town without so much as a courtesy call? Please, boy.”

Noah starts to fold in on himself.

“Noah, please let me explain.” My mouth dries up when he finally meets my eyes.

“How can I believe anything that comes out of your mouth? I didn’t even know your real name.”

My own face begins to scrunch, but I bite my tongue to ward off the urge to cry. Forthcoming honesty, always. From now on.

“The FBI swore us to secrecy,” Taryn says, but stops herself. Gestures toward me. “Go ahead.”

Taryn takes my hand with a gentle squeeze, letting me know she’s with me before letting go. I compose myself, stronger with my twin backing me up.

“We were supposed to be in hiding until they caught the psycho. I’m so sorry. If you give me a chance, I’ll tell you everything. Whatever you want to know. Just please don’t shut me out.”

Noah turns on me with a fiery expression. “I told you all about my brother. About why I got into true crime. I showed you all of the research I’ve done on his murder. The security footage. The crime scene photos. All of it. The least you could do was be honest with me. Your twin is alive. You were in communication with the Mayday Killer. I don’t—how am I supposed to take all this?”

With trembling fingers I take the smudged paper out of my pocket. I’ve gotten into the habit of carrying it around as a reminder of what I’m fighting for. The reason I lied to everyone around me. To save her.

Noah’s eyes widen as he takes the proffered sheet and looks at the name printed there.

Audrey Thomas

He stares and stares. Runs a finger over the footer that identifies it as the final page in the list of survivor’s names that he found on that true crime forum weeks ago. “This is, you took this from me?”

“Yes,” I whisper. “I wanted to tell you, but—”

His shoulders slump. “Stop. Just, stop. I don’t know you at all.”

“Noah, please listen. You know me. This is me. Audrey.” My voice breaks on the name I haven’t voiced in nearly six months.

But Noah’s already stepping away, widening the space between us. Taking his glasses off, he swipes at his eyes. Replaces the frames. “I can’t. I just… I need some time. Oh, your sister dropped this.” He hands me a silver bracelet before he goes.

Sheriff Lamb’s mouth twists in an expression that I would almost label sympathy, if I didn’t know any better.

“Come on,” the older man says to Noah, taking him under his wing. “I’ll take you home.”

With a final heartbreaking look in my direction, Noah follows the sheriff over to his Bronco. The car’s engine roars to life, and then they’re gone.

Chapter 40

Day 174, Saturday

Taryn

Audrey and I agreed to stay away from the drama room for a few days to give Esau time to breathe. Truthfully, she convinced me that it wasn’t always the best course of action to go into a complex situation with guns blazing. It’s been weird seeing her speak up about her thoughts and preferences over the past couple of weeks since the FBI’s showdown with the Gemini Killer. Not bad, only different from before. I never realized how much she was stifling herself when we were two. Seeing her now as she speaks up in class and with our new friends, I can’t help but smile.

Fiona, Marisa, and Viv were understandably shocked when Audrey and I showed up to school on the same day. They asked us tons of questions and we answered as many as we legally could, seeing as we’re still witnesses in the state’s case against our former teacher, Mr. Baugh. The rest of our teachers were pretty cool with the switcheroo since they’d been notified by the principal about what was happening.

Esau and Noah, though?

Noah is polite in class, but other than that he doesn’t speak to either me or my sister. It’s hard watching Audrey’s heart get crushed a little more in art every day, but she insists I should stay out of it. I’m trying to let her fight her own battles, so other than sitting at the same table as them since we’re technically a threesome for our project now, I have.

Since neither Audrey nor I have been to drama club in the last fifteen days, I have no idea how Esau’s doing, other than to say that when I see him in the halls, he looks tired and strained. Yesterday his bun was haphazard at best. He wasn’t at school at all today. I have no idea