Shattered: A Salvation Society Novel by Bella Emy (pdf to ebook reader .TXT) 📕

the truth of what happened with your first love, Kalen. Even though I won’t be around much longer after I sign this letter—it’s cancer, and I know you know this by now. But it’s eating away at me, and I’m so sorry, sweetie—I know what real love looks like, and I know you’ve found it with Kalen. Did I send him away? Yes, yes, I did. Am I sorry for it because I knew it would hurt you? Absolutely, but at the same time, no. I’m not sorry because I need you to be taken care of, my sweet girl. Since the day that I knew your father and I were getting a divorce, I knew he wouldn’t be around to help raise you. Hell, he wasn’t around much when we were together because of work, why would he step up once it would all fall on him? He’d be a single parent. There would have been no way he would have taken the responsibility, even though you were already sixteen years old.

So, knowing he wouldn’t be in the picture by choice and me being gone by fate, I knew you would need to find someone who could take care of you and love you the way you’re supposed to be treated. I’m not saying you won’t be able to take care of yourself. I know you’re a strong, determined young lady, and that’s why I know one day your dreams of owning your own business will take off.

But I need someone there with you along the way. Someone strong who will be your backbone when you need them should things get hard, because in life, there will always be hard times. I just want you to not feel alone like I did for most of my marriage to your father.

I know you love Kalen and when you read this, you’ll be so angry at me, learning that I’m the reason he pulled away from you. But one day, you will understand. Kalen comes from a poor family. How will he ever make enough to help you and raise a family with you? It can’t be done, Alexa, and I’m sparing you from the heartache that would come later when you’re married, struggling to pay the bills. I don’t want you to struggle. I want you to have an easy, wonderful life, and that’s why I made the choices I made.

Anyway, I could go on about this forever, but time is not on my side. I hope one day you’ll forgive me, my sweet Lexi Bug. I love you with all my heart always. Please know I’m so proud of you, and I’ll always be with you in your heart.

A mother’s love is forever, and mine for you will never go away.

I love you,

Mom

Yeah, I already knew most of what I had read, but reading my mother’s words were confirmation of everything Kalen had told me.

She really did push him away.

She really did tell him to keep his distance from me and break up with me.

I wipe the tears at the corners of my eyes and try to compose myself. The last thing I need is for Joanna to walk down the hall and see me in tears. I had told her everything that happened so she knew, but I really didn’t want to discuss it any further, especially not at the office.

This doesn’t leave Erin off the hook though. I’m so furious at her for not telling me any of this sooner. If she knew about this and had this letter in her possession for so long, why hadn’t she ever said anything? Why? And how the hell did she end up having it, anyway? It was addressed to me, so what the heck gives?

I need to find out. I need answers. I’m going to call her now and finally ask her these questions. It’s been two long weeks of wondering and trying to make sense of it all, but nothing does.

Taking a deep breath, I pick up my cell phone from my desk and hit Erin’s number.

It barely rings. “Lexi! I’m so glad you finally called, there’s something important I need to tell you.”

I don’t care what she has to tell me. I just want to know why she hid things from me that she should never have. “Why, Erin?” is the first thing that blurts out of my mouth. I don’t even have a chance to prepare her for what I called to say.

“Lexi, I know what you must be thinking, but you need to hear me out. I have to tell you something super important, and you’re going to want to hear it. I just—”

“Hear you out? I don’t know if I want to.” I’m fuming. If someone looks at me right now, they’ll see black smoke coming out of my ears, I’m sure. “Look, I’m not interested in what you have to tell me. I just want answers. I don’t want sorry excuses. I want reasons, real reasons why you kept my mother’s letter a secret from me all these years. Why? Why didn’t you—”

“Give me a chance to explain, Lexi!” Now she’s the one cutting me off. “You’re not letting me talk. If you give me a moment, I can tell you and give you all the answers you need.”

I inhale deeply and decide to step back and hear what she has to say. Maybe there is a silver lining in all of this, but I just don’t know. “Okay, Erin. Talk.”

She sucks in a breath. “I just found out about the letter once you left.”

I furrow my brows, trying to wrap my head around what she’s saying. “What? How?” I don’t understand.

“My mother had the letter. Your mother gave it to her to hold on to before you guys left California to head to Jersey. After you left us last week, my mother asked about you. I told her what happened. That’s when she handed me the letter and told me it was time