The Vanishing at Loxby Manor by Abigail Wilson (grave mercy .TXT) 📕

rashly in calling out Lord Kendal, but he knew his duty. He would notdisappoint his family.”

“And then?” The tone of my voice fell flat. I knew very well where the story was going, but I needed to hear it once and forall.

“And then he found you, alone, lying in that ditch with an injured leg. He could no more leave you than he could cut off hisright arm. At first he thought he might come about somehow, explain things to Lord Kendal, but he couldn’t. He’d made Kendallook a fool, and that would never be tolerated. You were a reckless, headstrong girl to set out so late in the day from thecoaching house on horseback.”

Mrs. Cavanagh ran her finger along the embroidered letter on her handkerchief. “Piers told me he meant to bring you to Loxby Manor at first, but during the long, arduous trek, he realized all too clearly that none of the servants would believe for one moment that the two of you had not been out all night together. So he took you to the empty gatehouse where you waited until the sun rose into the sky and your very respectability was less in question. Then you told everyone you had just arrived, the day they had all been expecting you.

“Things happened rather quickly after you left for Ceylon. Lord Kendal demanded an explanation, but Piers had none to give.He could not tell him or anyone else the two of you had spent the early morning hours together alone—not if he meant to spareyour reputation.”

My eyes clouded with tears as a swirl of emotions rattled my chest. I had been right. He’d risked it all for me.

Mrs. Cavanagh flicked her hand in the air. “Go on now. You’ve done enough here already.”

My heart pounded like a blacksmith’s hammer, slow and painful thumps. Eventually I uttered a whispered, “As you wish,” andfled the room.

*  *  *

I escaped straight to the garden where I was afforded an hour alone, but even then tears stung my eyes and my heart lay openbefore me like the final pages of a book.

I never dreamed Piers would find me in such a state.

He was slow to advance, wandering a bit before taking a seat on the curved white bench at my side, his gaze questioning me.“I’ve been searching for you for some time. Has something happened?”

I gathered myself as best I could. After all, I didn’t want to burden him before the duel. Anything might affect his performance, and I was determined not to be the cause of something dreadful—again.

I attempted to rid myself of the shroud of turbulent emotions with a light shake of my head. “I went to see your mother, althoughI don’t think she was too pleased to see me. She said some things that needed pondering is all.” I glanced up. “Like my leavingLoxby as soon as possible.”

He breathed in a sharp breath. “She said that?”

“Demanded, more like.”

He perched his elbows on his knees and lowered his head into his hands. “I fear her mind is not what it should be since Seline’sdeath. She’s barely eating or sleeping these days. All this while I’ve been worried about my father’s frail health when Ishould have been equally concerned about my mother’s. Avery has always been better with her. His being at Rushridge is nodoubt taking a toll.” Piers looked down at his hands before splaying them wide. “She and Avery share something I will neverunderstand. It doesn’t help that I’ve been gone these last five years.”

“Piers, I . . .” Trapped by the knowledge of how my own actions had played an integral part in Piers’s removal from Loxby,I wasn’t certain how to proceed. “You and I have shared nearly everything over the years . . . even when we were children.”

He smiled. “Do you ever wish you could go back to those days, where the world was small and our dreams unequally big?”

I fell motionless as the garden buzzed to life around me. The sweet scent of flowers on the breeze, the warm sun on my back,Piers sketching before me. The vision almost felt real. Slowly, I lifted my eyes. “With all my heart.”

He stared off into the rosebushes, silence settling on the bench between us. I daresay we both mourned the loss of what might have been, packaging up those dreams into crates that will never be opened again.

But it was what he said next that caught me by surprise.

“Strange how indulging in the idyllic world of yesterday can make living in the present so terribly unfulfilling, particularlywhen something happened that changed the course of life.” He folded his hands in his lap, his voice dipping lower. “Over thelast few weeks, I’ve come to realize something, Charity. That rosy picture of the past is just an illusion.” He sighed. “Anda dark one to lose oneself in. Over time those happy memories grow sweeter, the edges soften, the images blur. They becomethe fragrant scent of remembrance that remains forever out of reach.

“I don’t believe God made us to be looking back all the time, calculating every mistake we’ve made, measuring our worth byactions we can no longer change, particularly when such a practice comes at the expense of our future.”

I leaned back against the cold iron of the bench, the emotions I had fought so hard to keep at bay bubbling to the surface,playing with the twists and turns of my beliefs. Was I, too, guilty of painting an unrealistic picture of the past, holdingit up as the ideal?

I had come to Loxby to escape my present pain, to lose myself in a happier time and place. But Piers was right; my doing sohad turned out to be nothing but an illusion. In the end I had not been able to run away from me.

I felt his touch on my hand, and I looked down as he slid his fingers through mine. “I never meant to lecture. In fact, Icame here to say something quite different.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know what will happen on