I Love You More Than I'm Afraid (Our Forevers #2) by Rebel Hart (the first e reader .txt) 📕

abandoning her and owed her everything she wanted to do in order to feel like she was sending me to New York in the best state of mind, so I stopped packing and walked over and sat down on the bed next to her. Immediately, I felt over and put my head in her lap, earning myself head rubs for the action.

“How are you doing with all of this? Scared?” she asked.

“Reasonably. I’m starting over in an entirely new place where I don’t know anyone, and I’ve chosen one of the biggest, most dangerous cities to do that in, but honestly, I’m more excited than scared. I’ll never have to wake up and deal with my parents’ abuse ever again. I can’t wait.”

“Do you think you’ll date?” Aria asked.

“Not right away,” I responded. “Gotta worry about getting over Hannah first, and because I actually got to be with her and get my hopes all up, it’s so much worse. I tried to avoid that. Honestly, I’ll probably wait until the program starts and see if there’s any cute, gay inventors.”

“Well, at least one because you’ll be there,” Aria said.

I squealed a little bit. “I love you.”

Laying in bed made my mind drift carelessly back to Hannah. The look of her naked body in the dim light as the stars from the globe danced across the ceiling. The way it felt to just hold her in my arms and sleep until morning came. The rapture of waking up with her next to me. Nothing compared to those feelings. Saying that I wouldn’t date for a while since I’d need to get over Hannah was actually a pretty severe understatement. I was gonna to be hung up on that girl for a long, long time.

“What are you thinking about?” Aria said.

“Hannah,” I admitted.

Aria frowned. “Do you regret it? Going back to her?”

That was the question of the year. Every time I thought about it, which was frequently, I was filled with such a flurry of emotions that I couldn’t think straight. I’d been so specific in asking Hannah to make a decision first and then come to me, that when I realized that she’d done the opposite, I was so angry. A lot of that day that we went our separate ways again, I could feel myself slipping back into that dark place where I wanted to blame her and be angry at her for hurting me again, but in the end, I came to realize that there wasn’t any malice. Hannah was allowed to come out when she was ready, just like I was allowed to move on because she wasn’t. It was just one of those facts of life that was going to hurt no matter how I looked at it.

I didn’t blame her anymore. I blamed the circumstances. “No,” I said finally. “The reality is, for one night I got to be with the woman I loved. She was the first person who taught me what it was like to love. She showed me so much of who I was. I learned how to be brave because I had to be in order to love her. Some stories are like you and Tristan’s, with love that spans a lifetime, and others are like Hannah and me. Love that encompasses a single phase of your life and fades. I learned a lot from it. I don’t think I’ll ever regret that.”

“That’s good,” Aria said. “I’m sad though. I really thought you guys had that lifetime love.”

I smiled. “You and me both.”

Aria’s phone rang, for which I was grateful. I climbed out of her lap and up off the bed to return to my packing as she answered her phone with a sweet, “Hi mama.” She was quiet for a little bit, rolling her eyes and nodding before saying. “I did drive, but it’s fine. It’s my left leg that I hurt anyway and my head didn’t hurt at all.” She turned and looked out the window, apparently in response to what her mother said, then she nodded. “Yes, yes. You’re right. I’ll leave before it gets dark. I’ll call you when I get home. Love you. Bye.” She hung up her phone and looked up at me. “My mom doesn’t think I should drive in the dark and she’s probably right.”

It was already late afternoon and sunset was nearly here, which meant that our time was already coming to a close. “Yeah, she is.” Aria hobbled up off the bed and I hooked my arm under hers and helped her out of my bedroom and down the stairs. My parents were gone for some church thing, which made getting through the house much less stressful, and eventually we made our way outside. I got her over to the driver’s side door of her car and then opened it for her before holding my arms out for a hug. “Bring it in. My flight’s early, so this is goodbye, gorg.”

Aria was clearly fighting back tears as she leaned into my embrace, squeezing around me until I was struggling to breathe. “I am going to miss you so much.”

“Not nearly as much as I’m going to miss you.” She leaned back and I pressed a hand to the side of her face. “I’m gonna try not to get too sappy here, but… Aria, I really meant it when I said you’re my guardian angel. You descended on me out of nowhere and it was like bam, my whole life changed. I’m so happy for you and Tristan. I can’t wait to be your future baby’s god-mom. Please visit me soon. I’m gonna be dying without you.”

Aria nodded. “I will, because—same.”

It was difficult, but I let her go, holding her arm to get her into her car without falling and then I shut the door from her and stood back. I watched sadly as she started up her car and then gave me one last, weak wave before driving off. For how little