Me Life Story by Scarlett Moffatt (pdf e book reader .TXT) 📕

articles (I’ve learnt not to read them now). But I don’t hate the trolls; like I’ve said before, I pity them. They’re lacking something in their lives, God bless them.

The positives, though, I mean where do I begin? It was only a year ago I was watching people like Tom Hardy, Ant and Dec, Alan Carr and Rylan on the television, and now they’re in my phone book. I was watching shows with my family ordering a chicken kebab and having a glass of Lambrini and now I’m in the bloody shows. I pop to the shops for a pint of milk and people want to stop and have a chat and a selfie with me. The magazines I would read lying in bed hungover on a Sunday (contemplating what is my life), I’m now in. This has all happened in the space of a year. The strange thing is that even as I write this book I still don’t feel like a celebrity. I don’t think my family and friends would ever let me, to be fair. I’m treated no different and rightly so. They do, however, often tell me to stop for a second and take it all in.

My mam always says, ‘You don’t know how long this journey is going to last so enjoy it while it does.’ And that is what I do: that’s why you will very rarely see me without a smile on my face and that’s why whenever I get a chance to involve my family and friends, I do. I have a really small group of close friends and family and to be honest they’re the only people I really bother with. I used to think when I was younger it was about having loads of friends but as the story ‘The Vixen and the Lioness’ in my Aesop’s Fables taught me:

‘Quality is more important that quantity.’

Chapter Twenty-two

THAT ’S A STREETMATE

Davina McCall appeared as a dancer in the music video ‘Word Is Out’ for pop princess Kylie Minogue, wearing a striped sweater and beret.

Statistics show that women who use online dating are most afraid to meet up with someone who ends up being a serial killer; meanwhile, men said they are most afraid of meeting up with someone who won’t allow them free time or let them meet with their friends whenever they want.

Scientists believe it takes humans just one-fifth of a second to determine whether we fancy another person.

My phone vibrated as I was alerted that my car had arrived and was waiting outside the restaurant Pescatori, where I had just had a meeting with Channel 4. We had been discussing bringing back the nineties cult classic, Streetmate. A very fancy Onyx Mercedes had arrived and the driver got out of the car to open the door for me.

‘Thanks very much but you didn’t have to get out of your car to do that,’ I said. He giggled away and confirmed the address of where I was going. ‘Yes, that’s right, just near Chalk Farm tube station, cheers.’ I sat on the ivory leather seat in the back of this very fancy car, staring out of the blacked-out windows.

‘There is wi-fi service in the car, Madam, bottled water on the side and some Polos inside the arm rest,’ the driver told me.

‘Wow, I’ve never been in a car with free Polos before, thanks,’ I said. I quickly pocketed the Polos (I love a freebie).

The meeting had been amazing and there was one person I needed to call to let her know I had got the gig.

‘Mam, I’m going to be hosting Streetmate!’

‘Wow, you’re going to be a little mini Davina! I’m so proud.’

‘Oh, I hope I do Davina proud. If I can be a tenth of the presenter she is I’ll be super happy.’

‘Ah, I’m sure you will be, love.’

‘Mam, I’m buzzing that it’s been brought back. I mean it might actually encourage people to meet face to face, to start to date the old-fashioned way again, like walking up to someone in a bar or a supermarket and asking for their number.’

‘You never know, Scarlett.’

‘I mean, let’s be honest, Mam, what with all these dating apps and people sliding into everybody’s inbox and having sneaky DMs on social media, there’s no ambience to dating any more. You just swipe left or right at a photo that’s been filtered to the hills and hope you’re not being catfished. I mean, no one walks around in real life with a constant Valencia or X-Pro filter, with the saturation turned down and a slight bit of Facetune. It’s just not real any more. Also I feel like no good love story started out with some bloke sending a picture of his penis to his potential future wife and mother to his children.’

‘Scarlett, that’s dirty.’

‘Why Mam, that’s what happens these days, like some of the girls have these apps and have even been sent messages the day after a night out asking if they were in Vodka Revs last night, rather than the guy just going up and asking them for their number when they were actually out. People are too scared of rejection. No one likes the thought of somebody saying no to their face. But they don’t mind doing it to other people via a screen. I just think shy bairns get nothing, you’ve got to ask. What’s the worst someone can say: “No, you can’t have my number”? Well then, they were never the one anyway.’

‘I do think you watch too many Disney movies and you have grand ideas of what love should be like, Scarlett.’

‘No, I think apps and dating sites are great, especially if you have a busy profession or you don’t have a lot of time, or you don’t enjoy going out or you’re shy. It’s a great way for people to meet. Plus, then when you meet up