My Heart Stood Still by Lynn Kurland (best book club books of all time .TXT) 📕

A stillness came over him, and Iolanthe couldn't help but wonder if the moment of truth had come.

Thomas sighed. "No, no, and no. I've written Megan a letter and sent it to her. If I'm not home in two months, she'll open it, and you'll know what I've been up to." He paused. "What am I really doing?"

He looked across the room. Iolanthe found herself staring into bright blue eyes.

"I'm saving a life, Mom. A life that deserves saving."

Iolanthe felt her way into the chamber and sank into a chair. It wasn't as if she were truly weary; not having a body had certain advantages. But that didn't mean her spirit couldn't feel itself go weak in the knees, and such was the case at present. She leaned her head against the back of her chair and waited for Thomas to finish. And while she did, she listened to the easy banter he had with his mother and heard the affection in his voice. It had been so long since she'd had such tender communications with her mother.

Or with her love. She looked up as he sat down next to her. They hadn't spoken much since the afternoon before, when he'd told her of his scheme.

If she'd had hands, she would have clouted him strongly aside the head to try to bring sense back to him. Trying to shove him while shouting curses at him had been powerfully unsatisfying. She'd eventually given up and glared at him as he'd spouted more foolishness about having found a way for them to be together.

She'd said the price was too high.

He'd said he loved her, and he thought it worth the risk.

She'd begged him not to go.

He'd said he wanted her in his life, in his arms, and in his bed, and he was going to do everything in his power to get her there.

After that, she hadn't been able to do anything but stay by his side and breathe through the terror that swept over her. Perhaps he could travel back through time, but to what end?

To find himself adorning the end of a sword?

And leave her alone, six hundred years in the future?

Thomas smiled suddenly. "I'm glad you came in. I left the door open for you."

He'd left the door open for her. How true that was. He'd left so many doors open for her, doors to a different life. He'd come to her keep, bringing change and possibility and hope.

A hope for life.

"I called Jamie this morning."

She looked at him in surprise. "Did you?"

"I'm going tomorrow." He looked at her. "Didn't you come south in the fall?"

She swallowed with difficulty. "Aye," she managed.

"Then the sooner I start, the better, don't you think?"

What she thought was that he was mad. What she thought was that she might never see him again. What she thought was that he was the single most beautiful man she had ever known, and the rest of her existence would mean nothing if he were not there.

But she couldn't say any of that.

"Iolanthe."

She refused to look at him.

"I wish you'd come with me to Jamie's."

She had been expecting that and had already made her decision. "I cannot."

"I don't understand why."

She looked into the fire. "Perhaps 'tis that I have no faith."

"In me?"

She looked at him and wished with all her heart that she might feel some of the hope that he seemed to.

"I'm afraid to hope."

He sighed. "But—"

"Can you fault me for it?"

He studied her for several moments in silence, then shook his head slowly. "I suppose I can't. But that doesn't change what I plan to do."

She put her face in her hands. "If you survive the journey, how will you rescue me? And if you rescue me, how will I remember you?"

"There's no reason you can't remember the future."

"But I can't remember tomorrow!"

"You have to believe you can, Iolanthe."

"I can't believe something that's impossible!" She shivered. "Besides, if you save me before I'm murdered, I'll never have been a ghost and I'll never have met you anyway. There'll be nothing to remember."

"I don't believe time works that way," he insisted. "What's done is done, and I don't believe that if we stepped around time and made a change in the past that it will change events that have already happened."

"But it will change my future," she insisted.

"It might. But it won't change anyone else's," he said. "You'll still be known."

"It makes no sense!"

He sighed in exasperation. "Then write it down," he said. "Write down your memories of the past six hundred years. When I bring you forward, you'll still have that book. Even if you don't remember, you'll still have it written down."

"Foolishness," she said in despair. "'Tis naught but foolishness and I cannot believe you're willing to take this risk."

"I love you," he said simply. "And that's worth taking any risk."

She found there was no point in arguing with that. For her, loving him meant she didn't want him to go. They were at cross purposes, and nothing would change that.

"You could help me," he said slowly, "by telling me of your family."

"So they don't slay you the moment you walk through the hall doors?" she asked darkly.

"Something like that."

"And if you manage to find me and rescue me, what will you do then?"

"What do you mean what will I do then? I'll grab you and we'll run like hell."

"Where to?" she asked. "When to?"

He seemed to have no ready answer for that. "I hadn't thought much about that, actually. Would you want to go back to your home?"

"Never." The word was out before she knew she intended to speak it.

"Well, that solves that." He looked at her. "How about a house on the sea?"

"Unfair. You tempt me with what my heart desires most."

"My house in Maine is on the shore."

"You didn't tell me that."

"You never asked."

She sighed and looked into the fire. "I don't know what I would want."

"You have your pick of any century. What would suit you best?"

"You cannot be in