Monster Hunter Bloodlines - eARC by Larry Correia (read a book .txt) 📕

distracted prepping for tonight, I snuck down to the subbasement to the janitor’s officer to have a word with one of those company secrets.

I liked our janitor. Though I couldn’t really tell if he liked me or not. Sid was one of those tough-as-shoe-leather types it was hard to get a read on. The little dude was a scrapper and a hard worker, so Earl had offered him a job as a Hunter after he’d beaten a zombie to death. Sid had no desire to be a Hunter as far as I could tell, but all our support staff needed to be read-in on the supernatural too, and he turned out to be a great janitor. The previous guy had been an idiot.

Sid wasn’t in his room, but with all the battle space prep work being done around the compound that wasn’t a surprise. He’d probably jumped in to do manual labor on one of the projects because that was his nature. We’d warned all the noncombatants and support staff away because of the Drekavac, but I’d be willing to bet Sid would stick around just to get a jump on the cleanup. He was stubborn like that.

There wasn’t anything secret about Sid though. He was just another regular human being. However, the things he’d met and made an alliance with a little while back weren’t human at all, and since they’d escaped from a secret government lab, we had made a deal to keep their existence on the downlow as much as possible. Only me, Sid, Earl, Julie, and Milo knew about Justinian’s legion. Even the veterinarian I’d taken a few of them to had been kept in the dark about their intelligence. In exchange for letting the legion live here and the occasional request for supplies, they served as our subterranean early warning system and took care of small problems for us.

One of the heating ducts had been marked with red tape. I went over and knocked on it with the specified pattern that indicated I needed to parley. Since Justinian had a phone, I could have just done this via text, but asking for a favor, it seemed more respectful to do it in person. Knowing that they’d need to dress up their honor guard—because every visit with Justinian was a formal one—I sat on the concrete floor below the vent and waited.

A few minutes later I heard music coming from the duct. It was some grand military marching tune. The vent popped open, and the honor guard filed out in an orderly row of five rats wide, four ranks deep. Each rat had a little red shield and X-acto knife spear on his back, secured with Christmas ribbons and fishing line. They came to a halt in a perfect phalanx right in front of my knees. It would’ve been cute if it hadn’t been so disturbingly militant. Those knives were razor sharp and these little dudes were disciplined . . . and also probably smarter than a lot of the humans I knew.

Next came the band, which in this case consisted of two rats carrying a cellphone that was playing a marching song from YouTube. Then Justinian himself appeared. His armor had been painted gold, and he was wearing a plastic crown that had probably come off of a toy. Justinian gave me an adorable little bow. I returned the gesture and resisted the urge to pet him, because then I’d probably die a minute later from hundreds of tiny stab wounds. Justinian stopped next to the phone-carrying rats as another phalanx of warrior rats brought up the rear. They were very big on pomp and circumstance. Justinian may have been tiny, but the rat emperor had gravitas.

As the song finished, the rats maneuvered the phone so that I could see the screen. Justinian swiped the screen to a different app and began to type.

GREETINGS MR. PITT. ALL IS SECURE IN THE LANDS BENEATH MHI. TO WHAT DO WE OWE THIS PLEASURE?

I still couldn’t get over how weird this was, even by my jaded standards. Some mad scientists had decided to genetically engineer smart rats, they’d escaped, heard about somebody named Earl Harbinger who might give them sanctuary, so now I was basically their landlord. Life comes at you fast.

“I have brought a gift as a demonstration of MHI’s continuing friendship with the legion.” I reached behind me and picked up the grocery bag I’d brought down with me. “It is a selection of dried meats and quality cheeses from around the world, which my wife picked up on her last trip to Costco.”

EXCELLENT. THANK YOU FOR THIS BOUNTY. MAY OUR ALLIANCE ENDURE FOREVER.

Not only was the rat unnervingly intelligent, he was also an excellent typist. His tiny fists were punching the letters on the screen as fast as I could work a heavy bag.

YET IT IS NOT FINE CHEESES WHICH BRINGS YOU TO THE SUBBASEMENT TODAY. YOU ARE CLEARLY TROUBLED. HOW MAY WE AID YOU?

“There’s a very dangerous creature coming to attack the compound tonight.”

DIRE TIMES. DO YOU WISH US TO AID YOU IN BATTLE?

“No. This thing is crazy dangerous. It would be best if you stayed out of sight.” They were smart, but also proud of the warrior ethos they’d adopted, so I had to tread carefully here so as to not give offense. “I mean, obviously you would be very helpful but MHI has need of your skills in a different way.”

THERE IS NO NEED TO MINCE WORDS MISTER PITT. THOUGH FEARSOME MY SOLDIERS ARE APPROXIMATELY 1.5 POUNDS EACH. I AM AWARE OF OUR LIMITATIONS IN BATTLE. EVEN BOUNDLESS COURAGE WILL NOT OVERCOME PHYSICS.

“You are wise. The reason I’m here is that there may be untrustworthy people among us.”

DO YOU WISH FOR US TO ASSASSINATE THEM IN THEIR SLEEP?

Judging by the fact these guys could sneak in anywhere and were armed with razor blades, I could see how that would work frighteningly well. “No. Nothing like that. They’re supposedly our allies. I just need you to keep