Diary of an Ugly Duckling by Langhorne, Karyn (general ebook reader .txt) 📕

He bent her body in ways she

hadn’t known it would move, bringing waves of fresh

desire with every position, every angle, until at last,

he muttered, “I’m coming . . . I’m . . .” and she felt

him release the last of his energy deep inside her,

while she shuddered against him, accepting his pas-

sion and returning it with a passion all her own.

Audra didn’t remember later how they moved

from the floor to the bed. But she remembered the

feeling of complete satisfaction and the comfort of

their two sweaty, spent bodies, entwined.

DIARY OF AN UGLY DUCKLING

335

I love Art Bradshaw, she thought as his arms slid

around her and she felt his breath on her neck, even

and slow with sleep. I love Art Bradshaw . . . and he

loves me.

Chapter 28

October 27

Dear Petra,

My Ugly Duckling show airs tonight. I was really

hoping you’d be here to watch it with us. It sucks

that your discharge date has been delayed again .

Kiana’s miserable. I don’t know how much more

disappointment she can stand. She really misses you

both.

Art and Penny are coming over, and so is Laine, the

cousin I told you about. Penny is bringing a couple of

girls from her school. In a weird sort of way I’ve

actually helped her make a few friends. Ma has a

couple of her stylists coming, and one or two of her

“special” clients. It should be a regular party. This is

the last episode, so there will be voting for the Top

Three after my “package” airs. I really don’t expect to

make it, but who knows?

DIARY OF AN UGLY DUCKLING

337

I called Shamiyah and asked her about her

promises to Ma, and the whole telephone thing. She

said the phone was disconnected briefly while I was

out of it during the first few days of surgery. I asked her

what to expect on the show and she laughed. She said

“Nothing to do now but wait and see.” Then she

started on how “great” it all was, and how her “career”

is “made” . . .

Somehow none of that made me feel any better. But

then, I have lots of things on my mind.

After the latest incident with Haines at the prison,

I’ve really been thinking. I’d like to do some work with

girls on body image. I was thinking about asking Dr.

Goddard and maybe using some of the show’s

publicity to help me get started. Shamiyah always said

I could be the voice for some of the sisters out there

who have issues. Maybe I really could be. Then it really

would be like Now, Voyager wouldn’t it? Remember

how at the end, Bette Davis helps Paul Henreid’s

daughter break out of her shell and discover her

beauty? Well, just call me Bette . . .

Be careful out there,

Audra

“I’m sick and tired of being fat, black and ugly,”

the woman on the TV was saying earnestly on

an obviously inexpert video tape. There was a sort

of loping grin on her face that did little to conceal

her obvious pain. “Just once, I want to be the

woman who everyone looks at, everyone desires.

Just once I’d like to be pursued, sought after. I’d

like to preen around.” The woman in the video

338

Karyn Langhorne

assumed an exaggerated strut, but her legs rubbed

together, making a whistling sound that would

have been funny if it weren’t so pathetic. “I’d like

to toss my hair.” She shook the short curls of her

natural. “I’d like to know what it feels like to be a

swan.”

Audra sank a little deeper into her sofa, covering

her face with her hands. The living room of her

mother’s apartment had been lively with conversa-

tion only a few moments before, as the assembled

group prepared for Audra’s television debut. Now

the room had gone deadly silent. Audra didn’t dare

glance around at any of them, didn’t want to see the

pity in their faces. She looked ridiculous up there:

not funny or clever or amusing as she’d always

imagined. Just ridiculous.

“It’s okay,” Art rumbled into her ear, his arm

tightening around her shoulders. “That’s the old

stuff . . . you’re a different person now . . .”

But the Ugly Duckling people had chosen to air a

good deal of her original tape, including the embar-

rassing confessions about her pants ripping at the

jail, and the ugly names the inmates called her as

she went about her job. Even Penny Bradshaw’s

words were repeated, but in a voice-over as Audra

emerged from a car and walked alone into the

building that housed the offices of her plastic sur-

geons.

“Wait and see.” That’s what Shamiyah had said.

And now Audra understood. There was no way she

wanted to admit to this. No way she didn’t know

how angry Audra would be.

But was this Shamiyah’s doing? Audra wondered,

DIARY OF AN UGLY DUCKLING

339

thinking about how she’d complained about the ed-

iting ahead. Or had she been pressured to change it by

the evil, ratings-hungry Camilla?

She pushed aside her questions and focused on

the next segment and saw herself, seated at the long

conference table, marking up the photographs with

the experts who had become her friends.

But so little of that long afternoon had made the fi-

nal package. In the end, the world saw Dr. Bremmar

drawing purple lines over a hefty Audra’s body, out-

lining procedures, and Dr. Jamison explaining the

process of skin lightening, while Audra appeared to

listen eagerly. But somehow, none of her questions or

reservations about the process had made