East Bound by Nana Malone (big ebook reader txt) 📕

enemy hands, just to get her back safely. I know this, but you have to realize that she's not a damsel in distress. I know you need someone to rescue, and Nyla needs rescuing, for sure. Just not from this.”

I frowned at her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"My God, how can someone so pretty and seemingly so smart not get it?"

"I don't know what you're on about."

"Look, Nyla's different. She's this force of nature. You think that nothing can touch her. You think that she walks on water."

"And?"

"There's this other part of her that is just begging for love. A part of her that is begging to be accepted for who she is. And every time you try and stop her from that, every time you try and control her, every time you try to keep her from doing what she needs to do, all you're doing is becoming just like every other man in her life who has hurt her."

"I'm not like Denning." My voice was a low warning growl.

"I know that. Relax, handsome. You should know, it's not just Denning; it's her father too. All she's ever wanted is to be like him and to make him proud. She knows that if he had a choice, that maybe he wouldn't have had her."

"That’s ridiculous. He's her father."

"He loves her, in his way. But she overheard him and her mother talking one day. It was after Nyla had chased down some bully at school. She made a citizen's arrest, you see."

I blinked in surprise. "Are you kidding me?"

"No. They were living in the States then, and this bully had been harassing kids, stealing money from them, that sort of thing. Nyla cornered him. Full on using every bit of martial arts training she had, she cornered the bully in the gym. She held him there until the principal came for him. Then when the principal came, there was trouble all around. The bully claimed Nyla had kicked him and threatened his balls. Nyla, of course, didn't want to pretend that she didn't know anything about it. The parents were called and all that. But what was really funny was that she made the arrest on the grounds that he'd stolen money from other kids, and he had. He was stacked full of evidence in his pockets. One of the kids even wrote his name on one of the dollar bills he'd taken. So the kid got in trouble. And Nyla was going to get justice. Which was what she wanted. She didn't really care what happened to her. So you see, there is this part of Nyla that is so desperate to follow the rules, to make people proud of her. But then, at the core of it, she's a rebel. So as soon as the bully was handed his arse and his parents were called, when no one was looking, she kicked him in the nuts."

I coughed. "Excuse me?"

"Even though he was about to get justice, Nyla has this streak in her that's rebellious, impulsive, a little bit dangerous to herself and others. She still had to see it being done her way, or it wasn't good enough. And her father, when he found out, he was horrified. He was so angry. Went on and on to her mother, saying if he had to do it over again, he didn’t know if he’d make the same decision."

I frowned. "He said that?"

"Yeah. Where she could hear. And you know, I think many a parent has probably felt like that with a child who’s a particular handful. But she knew that he would have made different choices because he doubled down with her mother and said, 'I know what I said. She's mine, but sometimes I rethink that choice every single day.' Her mother, of course, was horrified. And Nyla, she took on the burden of his words. So she tries even harder to be just like him, but the thing is, she's not. She is rebellious. There's a part of her that never wants to conform. And there's a part of her that thinks the right thing doesn't always come by following the rules.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Her father doesn't know she heard this. He couldn't know the impact his words would have on her. But it shaped her. And every rejection he gives her as an adult just reinforces what he said a long time ago. That she's unlovable, that she's difficult, that he would have made a different choice had he known. And so she tries so hard. She just wants to get this right. She wants to be the one to bring in Theroux and to take down Jameson. She knows that it's your thing. Knows that you and your mates have a claim on that. She knows that. She's not dumb. But man, she wants to be the one.”

“She’s risking too much. I can’t be worth it.”

“She wants to finally be able to say, 'Look, I did it. I am worthy of your love.' Granted, she's a grown up. But even though she's done all the right things and said all the right things, there will be something hollow about it. She knows, but she wants it anyway."

I sighed. I was forced to plop down on the couch next to Amelia. The clanking sound of the cuffs rang hollow in my ears. "Jesus Christ, I could kill him for that."

"Yeah, me too. Trust me, every time I see him around the office, I really do have the urge to hit him."

"Why go and work for him though?"

"Because Nyla is not self-aware enough to know that she's really torturing herself. In some way, she's still a little girl who wants to make her father proud. And her ex-boyfriend. And her current boyfriend. She wants these people to be proud of her, to acknowledge that she's amazing. The problem is she’s always picked knobs who didn’t acknowledge how brilliant she is."

"Are you kidding? I always think she’s