Sister Death (Acid Vanilla Series Book 4) by Matthew Hattersley (funny books to read txt) 📕

“Well, it was worth a try.” He sighed. “I guess a part of me knew you’d say that. Not the marrying type, are ya?”

She smiled out the window, hiding it well. “No. I’m not.”

Behind her she heard another deep sigh. “Shite. How am I ever going to find a girl who lives up to you, though? Someone who’s cool as hell, and funny, and who I can properly talk to. Not to mention the fact you’re a fecking knockout, with a killer body. Even with all those cuts and bruises. Ya see, all the usual women I meet are crazy.”

She spun around, arms folded now. “I’m crazy.”

“Aye, but you’re good crazy. Amazing crazy. Most women are just weird and nagging and insecure.”

“Do you ever wonder why?” she asked, her eyes widening. “Huh? What was it George Carlin said? Women are crazy, and men are arseholes. And the main reason—”

“Yeah – the main reason women are crazy is men are arseholes, I know the quote. I think he said men are stupid though, not arseholes.”

“I prefer my version.”

“I thought you might.” He looked at her, eyebrows raised in defeat.

“All I’m saying is maybe next time you meet a girl, be nicer and she might not act so crazy.”

He grinned joylessly. “You’re breaking my heart here. Ya know that?”

“Am I? And how does that feel?”

“Awful. Like someone’s kicked me in the nuts and the chest at the same time.”

She let her arms fall to her sides and joined him on the bed. “Well, remember that feeling next time you’re so ready to break some poor girl’s heart.”

“Shitting hell. Is that all this was?” he asked. “You teaching mankind a lesson one fool at a time?”

“No, it wasn’t like that at all. I found you attractive and I needed a release. Plus, you are pretty terrific in bed.” She nudged him with her shoulder. “But I don’t do relationships.”

He let out a deep sigh. “You’re cold as ice, ya know that?”

“I have to be, sweetie. Safer that way. For everyone.”

There was a knock on the door and The Dullahan put his head around. “Ya ready, laddo? The car’s here for us.”

Danny got to his feet and Acid did too. “I guess I’ll be in touch then,” he said. “Once the exchange has gone through and I’ve got your money.”

“Thanks, and don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.” She let her hand brush against his forearm for a second. “You’re a good man, Danny. Better than you think.”

“He’s a fecking eejit!” The Dullahan exclaimed. “Come on, Lovejoy.”

Acid followed the two men out the door and down the hall. “New driver, is it?” she asked.

“Aye, well the other one wasn’t up to scratch, was he?”

“You can trust this one?”

“As much as you can trust any nefarious fellow trying to make a name for himself. But don’t worry about me, I’m a wily one. It all turned out okay in the end, didn’t it?”

“That’s one way of looking at it,” she replied. “And you’ll let me know if you hear anything? About Caesar?”

“That I will. As always.” He turned around. “Don’t worry, lassie. You’ll get him.”

They were at the front door now. Acid leaned against the frame to watch as the two men left along the corridor that led through the dry cleaners and out onto Berwick Street. As she eased the door closed, she caught Danny’s blue eyes as he looked back at her. She smiled and raised her hand in farewell.

Then she shut the door.

Because it was better this way, she hadn’t been lying about that. Safer for them both. She already had two lifetimes of guilt weighing her down and she couldn’t afford to put anyone else in the firing line. Couldn’t afford to get distracted either.

Not now.

Like comfort, like contentment, love was the last thing she needed. Love made a person weak and stale and she couldn’t – wouldn’t – have that. Her sights were now firmly fixed on her mission, her energy restored by the fire of revenge burning in her belly. The old Acid Vanilla was back, the only person who could get this job done.

And she was ready.

Beowulf Caesar wouldn’t know what hit him.

The end

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Also by Matthew Hattersley

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The Acid Vanilla series

The Watcher

Acid Vanilla is an elite assassin, struggling with her mental health. Spook Horowitz is a mild-mannered hacker who saw something she shouldn’t. Acid needs a holiday. Spook needs Acid Vanilla to NOT be coming to kill her. But life rarely works out the way we want it to.

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Seven Bullets

Acid Vanilla was the deadliest assassin at Annihilation Pest Control. That was until she was tragically betrayed by her former colleagues. Now, fuelled by an insatiable desire for vengeance, Acid travels the globe to carry out her bloody retribution.  After all, a girl needs a hobby...

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Making a Killer

How it all began. Discover Acid Vanilla’s past, her meeting with Caesar and how she became the deadliest female assassin in the world.

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Stand-alone novels

Double Bad Things

All undertaker Mikey wants is a quiet life and to write his comics. But then he's conned into hiding murders in closed-casket burials by a gang who are also trafficking young girls. Can a gentle giant whose only friends are a cosplay-obsessed teen and an imaginary alien really take down the gang and avoid arrest himself?

Double Bad Things is a dark and quirky crime thriller - for fans of Dexter and Six Feet Under.

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