Myth 13 - Myth Alliances by Asprin, Robert (ebook reader online free .txt) 📕

“Uh-​huh,” I acknowledged, pleased that they were fi?nally starting to catch on.

“What do you want?”

“I want you to cease your unfair control over the Wuhses. They are tired of living under your yoke and having you rob them blind and make them work for you as slaves to make you rich. They want you to pack up and leave, and stop draining their treasury. Otherwise, you can stay here. We'll even shove food through the barriers for you, but won't take them down unless you meet certain conditions.”

The one in the coverall gawked openly at me. “Making us rich? You've got the wrong slaves here, pal. We can't even collect our fee!”

It was my turn to goggle. “What fee?”

The elegant one groaned, as if I was too stupid to live. “These fools hired us to work for them. They brought us in as financial managers. Our assignment was to straighten out the kingdom's cash flow problems. These moronic Wuhses have been undercutting our efforts at every turn. Did they tell you that? Did they tell you that we've man?aged to get them out of debt and keep them out of debt, but only by scaring them into submission? That we were able to stay on top of their out of control spending up until the last three weeks, when someone has gotten in our way every time we were going to get ahead.”

“We've been here over two years,” the littlest one moaned. “If they'd just cooperated we would have finished with our contract and been on our way in six months. That's what it was supposed to take.”

“Don't talk to him,” their magician complained. “He's just here to cheat us and throw us out.”

“No, I'm not,” I goggled, honestly appalled. “Tell me about it.”

“Not under these circumstances,” the eldest one told me firmly. “We don't deal under siege.”

I lowered myself to the ground and headed toward the door.

“No, Master Skeeve,” Zol called to me. “Don't go to their level. Maintain your advantage.”

But I was through listening to his advice. What the Per-​vect Ten said made sense. I had observed from the begin?ning that the Wuhses dealt in a sidelong and cowardly fashion, except Wensley.

Wensley! I reached into my pocket and drew out the globe. The little figure in it jumped up and down. “Stop! Stop! Stop!”

“How do I release him?” I asked, holding up the sphere.

“Just release the wards,” the robed Pervect gestured.

With my mind I opened a little door in the side of the glass ball. Suddenly, Wensley was beside me. I steadied him as he staggered, then he rushed toward the Pervects. I ran after him through the blinding flash of light.

“Hey, stop!” I shouted.

But I was too late. Wensley threw himself on his knees in front of the eldest Pervect.

“Dear lady,” he pleaded, “I most humbly apologize.”

“What is this?” I demanded. “Wensley, what are you doing?”

He looked up at me. “I had no idea how hard we were making it for them. We are not used to having anyone give us direct orders. Let us say that... we didn't take it well.”

“I'll say, sonny!” the elder declared. “You've driven us clean out of our minds with all of your nickling and ... you say you're sorry?”

“I am, truly,” the Wuhs vowed. “I'll do anything I can to help make it right.”

“Well, for a start, you can tell your hired gun here to stop interfering in our business ventures!” the skirt-​suited one insisted. She walked over and whacked me on the chest with the back of her hand. “We're doing all this for your benefit. You people have been making it almost im?possible for us to live up to the terms of our agreement. We're businesswomen. We have a reputation across thirty different dimensions of being the Pervects to come to when you need something done right in the minimum pos?sible time, and you're doing a hell of a job of undoing years of hard work in a matter of weeks.”

“I'm really sorry about the misunderstanding,” I in?formed them, rubbing the sore place with my fingertips. “I didn't realize until I saw one used that those Pervomatics really were food choppers. But if it's so straightforward, why were you concealing from the Wuhses what they were working on? It looked pretty suspicious.”

“Because these sheep, in case you haven't noticed, have all the morals of jackdaws,” the eldest sighed, sinking down into a chair. “They'll take anything and rationalize that it's okay as long as no one else knows they're taking it. But why didn't you come to us in the first place and just ask us what we're doing, instead of putting us out of business in two dimensions?”

I heard a contrite little noise behind me, but I ignored it. I had been wrong enough times on my own in my life that I didn't have to ruin a second reputation to make my explanation.

“I got some advice I didn't understand properly,” I shrugged. “It's all my fault.”

“Don't let him take the blame, dear Pervects,” Zol put in from behind me. “He came to me, and I inadvertently gave him a wrong steer. Please forgive us all.”

I glanced over my shoulder. The little gray man stood in the doorway flanked by Bunny and Tananda.

The skirt-​suited one pointed a finger. “Aren't you Zol Icty?”

The Kobold bowed. “I have that honor.”

She smiled, showing four-​inch long teeth, an expression which was repeated on the faces of all