Sir and Lady Chiltern are the picture of responsibility: he a member of the House of Commons, she a member of the Women’s Liberal Association. When Mrs. Cheveley arrives in London, she brings with her a letter that threatens to ruin Sir Chiltern forever—his whole life threatens to come crumbling down. The following twenty-four hours are filled with theft, blackmail, farce, and biting social commentary.
An Ideal Husband was first performed in 1893 at the Haymarket Theatre, and it was immediately successful. On April 6th, the same day it transferred to the Criterion Theatre, Oscar Wilde was arrested for gross indecency, and his name was removed from the play. Wilde revised the play for publication in 1899, taking steps to add written stage directions and character descriptions in order to make the work more accessible to the public. Today it’s Wilde’s second most popular play, after The Importance of Being Earnest.
see why I shouldn’t give you the same advice. I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
Mabel Chiltern
Lord Goring, you are always ordering me out of the room. I think it most courageous of you. Especially as I am not going to bed for hours. Goes over to the sofa. You can come and sit down if you like, and talk about anything in the world, except the Royal Academy, Mrs. Cheveley, or novels in Scotch dialect. They are not improving subjects. Catches sight of something that is lying on the sofa half hidden by the cushion. What is this? Someone has dropped a diamond brooch! Quite beautiful, isn’t it? Shows it to him. I wish it was mine, but Gertrude won’t let me wear anything but pearls, and I am thoroughly sick of pearls. They make one look so plain, so good and so intellectual. I wonder whom the brooch belongs to.
Lord Goring
I wonder who dropped it.
Mabel Chiltern
It is a beautiful brooch.
Lord Goring
It is a handsome bracelet.
Mabel Chiltern
It isn’t a bracelet. It’s a brooch.
Lord Goring
It can be used as a bracelet. Takes it from her, and, pulling out a green letter-case, puts the ornament carefully in it, and replaces the whole thing in his breast-pocket with the most perfect sangfroid.
Mabel Chiltern
What are you doing?
Lord Goring
Miss Mabel, I am going to make a rather strange request to you.
Mabel Chiltern
Eagerly. Oh, pray do! I have been waiting for it all the evening.
Lord Goring
Is a little taken aback, but recovers himself. Don’t mention to anybody that I have taken charge of this brooch. Should anyone write and claim it, let me know at once.
Mabel Chiltern
That is a strange request.
Lord Goring
Well, you see I gave this brooch to somebody once, years ago.
Mabel Chiltern
You did?
Lord Goring
Yes.
Lady Chiltern enters alone. The other guests have gone.
Mabel Chiltern
Then I shall certainly bid you good night. Good night, Gertrude! Exit.
Lady Chiltern
Good night, dear! To Lord Goring. You saw whom Lady Markby brought here tonight?
Lord Goring
Yes. It was an unpleasant surprise. What did she come here for?
Lady Chiltern
Apparently to try and lure Robert to uphold some fraudulent scheme in which she is interested. The Argentine Canal, in fact.
Lord Goring
She has mistaken her man, hasn’t she?
Lady Chiltern
She is incapable of understanding an upright nature like my husband’s!
Lord Goring
Yes. I should fancy she came to grief if she tried to get Robert into her toils. It is extraordinary what astounding mistakes clever women make.
Lady Chiltern
I don’t call women of that kind clever. I call them stupid!
Lord Goring
Same thing often. Good night, Lady Chiltern!
Lady Chiltern
Good night!
Enter Sir Robert Chiltern.
Sir Robert Chiltern
My dear Arthur, you are not going? Do stop a little!
Lord Goring
Afraid I can’t, thanks. I have promised to look in at the Hartlocks’. I believe they have got a mauve Hungarian band that plays mauve Hungarian music. See you soon. Goodbye!
Exit.
Sir Robert Chiltern
How beautiful you look tonight, Gertrude!
Lady Chiltern
Robert, it is not true, is it? You are not going to lend your support to this Argentine speculation? You couldn’t!
Sir Robert Chiltern
Starting. Who told you I intended to do so?
Lady Chiltern
That woman who has just gone out, Mrs. Cheveley, as she calls herself now. She seemed to taunt me with it. Robert, I know this woman. You don’t. We were at school together. She was untruthful, dishonest, an evil influence on everyone whose trust or friendship she could win. I hated, I despised her. She stole things, she was a thief. She was sent away for being a thief. Why do you let her influence you?
Sir Robert Chiltern
Gertrude, what you tell me may be true, but it happened many years ago. It is best forgotten! Mrs. Cheveley may have changed since then. No one should be entirely judged by their past.
Lady Chiltern
Sadly. One’s past is what one is. It is the only way by which people should be judged.
Sir Robert Chiltern
That is a hard saying, Gertrude!
Lady Chiltern
It is a true saying, Robert. And what did she mean by boasting that she had got you to lend your support, your name, to a thing I have heard you describe as the most dishonest and fraudulent scheme there has ever been in political life?
Sir Robert Chiltern
Biting his lip. I was mistaken in the view I took. We all may make mistakes.
Lady Chiltern
But you told me yesterday that you had received the report from the Commission, and that it entirely condemned the whole thing.
Sir Robert Chiltern
Walking up and down. I have reasons now to believe that the Commission was prejudiced, or, at any rate, misinformed. Besides, Gertrude, public and private life are different things. They have different laws, and move on different lines.
Lady Chiltern
They should both represent man at his highest. I see no difference between them.
Sir Robert Chiltern
Stopping. In the present case, on a matter of practical politics, I have changed my mind. That is all.
Lady Chiltern
All!
Sir Robert Chiltern
Sternly. Yes!
Lady Chiltern
Robert! Oh! it is horrible that I should have to ask you such a question—Robert, are you telling me the whole truth?
Sir Robert Chiltern
Why do you ask me such a question?
Lady Chiltern
After a pause. Why do you not answer it?
Sir Robert Chiltern
Sitting down. Gertrude, truth is a very complex thing, and politics is a very complex business. There are wheels within wheels. One may be under certain obligations to people that one must pay. Sooner or later in political life one has to compromise. Everyone does.
Lady Chiltern
Compromise? Robert, why do you talk so differently tonight from the way I have always heard you talk? Why are you changed?
Sir Robert Chiltern
I am not changed.
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