Truth or Lies? by A. Gomez (books to get back into reading TXT) 📕

how badly I want to say yes, baby, but the answer is still no.” He pulled away to assess me, concern etched on his face. “I think I should call your mother. You still don’t look like yourself.”

“Josh, if I don’t look up to par, it is only because the stress of being away from you was getting to me. Also, for some odd reason, I seem to relax a little better when I can feel your warmth around me. It’s almost lulling me back to sleep.” I kissed his rough chin, forcing myself to wake up. “I can prove it to you if you like. Go sit away from me.”

He eyed me speculatively, not wanting to move away from me. He decided to stay next to me and kissed my hand. I sighed heavily and leaned my head back on his arm, staring unseeingly at the ceiling.

“What it is, baby?” He was stroking my hair.

“Josh, I don’t want to go to Dallas… I don’t want to deal with David… I want to go home with you. I’m worried about you. Why doesn’t your mother come to help you?”

“I didn’t call her,” he answered dryly. “She doesn’t know I got shot.”

Surprised at his answer, my voice was a pitch higher. “Josh! Why not?”

His lips pressed into a hard line, looking down and away from me, as if he was ashamed to answer me. “Because I didn’t want to live if I thought you weren’t coming back to me.”

I stared at him in shock, all the blood draining from my face, my chest tightening with pain from his admission. I started to feel sick. The thought of Josh dying had never crossed my mind. A world without Joshua Rockwall, a world without my own personal Adonis, was unfathomable and dark. How dare he think that way! How dare he behave that way! What the hell was he thinking?! He talks about keeping me safe…fucking hypocrite! What about him? So, it was fine if whatever happens to him but I have to be safe? I slowly stood up, grabbed my hair by the roots and pulled it. I paced the floor wanting to scream at him. He did say my mother brought him back from despair. Was this what he meant? Did my mother know? The thought of life without Josh was unbearable. I was both angry and devastated by his words.

His eyes were wide and his eyebrows raised, appraising me. “Isabel? Baby?”

I couldn’t stop pacing, my hands on my hips. Was his love for me so out of whack that those morbid thoughts crept their way into his mind? I couldn’t live without him either but I was not about to end my life. Perhaps it was the pain medication causing him to think that way. Yes, I wanted to believe that was it. I stopped in front of him, hands on my hips, giving him a withering stare.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered.

“Joshua Rockwall,” I begin acidly, in a low voice. “If you ever do or think anything stupid like that again, I promise you I will never speak to you again. And you can forget about my mother being your therapist, I’ll make sure of it!” I hissed. “And if you were to die because you just ‘can’t live without me’ then I would refuse to go to your funeral and behave as if we never met. Do you understand me? That’s the most selfish thing you could do to me and your family.”

He cleared his throat, then spoke. “Well, you look wide awake now.”

“Is that all you can say to me?” I yelled, glowering at him

“No! Baby, of course not. Please, don’t talk like that. I’m sorry, it was a stupid thought and I’ll never act on it, I promise.” He got up, took my hands and kissed them both. “You’re right, it was selfish of me to even think that, but it’s the truth. I can’t live without you. I would move heaven and earth to be with you, to take care of you. Just promise me you’ll never leave me and I promise to never think or behave that way again.” His eyes were pleading.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. How dare he do that to himself or me! I had half a mind to refuse to go to Dallas, give him a taste of his own medicine. How would that feel, Rockwall? All of a sudden, I felt his lips on mine, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. I gave in all too easily and greedily took his tongue. He pulled me in closer as I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling his muscular body against mine.

“Baby,” he whispered against my lips. “Promise me. Promise you will never leave me.”

“I promise,” I breathed.

I could feel his smile on my lips. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him with more fervor. He let out a soft groan, making my pulse race. I loved his sounds, his deep throaty sounds. There was a knock on the door, jolting us back to the present. I pulled away, grateful to take a breath. I hurried to the mirror, trying to compose myself as he opened the door. It was the other agent telling him to hurry. He nodded. I watched him walk back to me and saw that he was still struggling with the smallest of movements. I didn’t want to leave him like that. I should be with him, taking care of him.

“Josh, seeing you struggle the way you are... well, I just can’t leave you. You need help. You need someone to take care of you. I want to be the one to do that for you,” I pleaded.

“Baby, having you safe is more important to me than having help right now. I can deal with the pain and