Something Old by Rebecca Connolly (autobiographies to read txt) 📕

and turned from the room, closing the door firmly behind her.

Then she paused and waited, somehow still hoping he would call after her, or open the door and follow her retreat, or say something to himself that she could barely catch.

But nothing happened. Not a thing.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Four days of complete silence after the bliss she had known was quite enough for Lily. She would not stay in this house in misery one moment more.

She could not.

Thomas had reverted entirely back to the man he had been before he’d invited her to London, before they’d gone to Cornwall, before they had acknowledged their love for each other. Worse than that, for now Lily knew the sort of man he could be and how things could feel between them. The loss of that beauty was worse than the lack of it, for she had not known the difference then.

Now she knew, and she could not bear it.

He had taken meals with her after that first night of whatever disaster had struck their finances, but there had been no conversation despite her efforts.

Admittedly, she had only tried that first meal. After that, she had determined that he would have to decide if he would like for their marriage to be what it had been in Cornwall, as she had made her stance clear enough.

Thus far, he had given her no indication.

They had gone to no events, which would have suited her well enough if they had embraced time together instead, but all his time was spent going over figures and finances or meeting with various men of business.

Lily did not know what the predicament was, and, at this point, she was not sure it mattered. There had been no decisions to retrench, they were not returning to Rainford, and none of the staff had been released from their employment. He had not called her to his study to inform her of the need to take her dowry and use the funds for other things, though she would not have minded a jot if that were true.

Money had never been an object of importance for her, and she was well aware that it was likely due to her always having enough at hand.

But that was what she wanted. Enough. Only ever enough. Enough to live on. Enough to stay out of the poor house. Enough to feed her family.

Not excess. Not wealth. Not status. Just enough.

But enough did not satisfy her husband, it seemed. He’d decided to love his wife when his finances were secure, and at the first hitch in that security, he had given her up to see them remedied. If it would last four days, what was to say it would not last four years?

She could not wait for him to find loving her convenient, not when she broke further day by day in her love for him and seeing it go unreturned.

So that morning, after she had finished another silent breakfast that Thomas excused himself early from, Lily had ordered her trunks packed and a carriage brought around when they were ready. She had written several notes to her friends and a lengthier one to her sister, then gone up to change from her simple morning dress into something sturdier and more suited for travel.

Staring at her reflection in the looking glass, Lily felt a calm wash over her in a gentle wave, settling her breathing and soothing her quivering heart.

This was not forever. It was simply for now. She was not leaving her husband. She was leaving London. Her husband could do as he wished, including come with her. She would welcome that.

But she would not wait for it.

Nodding to herself, she turned from her bedchambers and made her way down the stairs, her cloak over an arm, her bonnet in hand.

“Would you have the carriage brought around now, madam?” Sutton asked when she reached the bottom.

Lily adjusted her gloves, sniffing softly. “Have all my trunks been brought down?”

“I believe so.”

“Then yes, Sutton, if you would kindly have the carriage brought around and loaded, I would appreciate it.” She smiled at him, grateful for his stoicism and dedication to his servitude, knowing he would not take part in the speculation that would certainly take place below stairs once she had gone.

He bowed with a bare hint of a smile, but she would take it as a sign of understanding from him.

Another set of footsteps sounded as Sutton retreated, and Lily lifted her chin a touch, having an idea who it might be.

Thomas looked her over, his thumbs rubbing against his other fingers almost audibly. “Sutton said your trunks are being packed.”

Lily swallowed hard, nodding. “They are packed now. The carriage is being brought around.”

“Where are you going?” he asked, his eyes dropping to the floor. “And for how long?”

“Cornwall,” Lily said simply, her heart aching that this was the best interaction they’d had in a week. “It’s the last place I was truly happy. And as for how long… well, my darling, that is entirely up to you.”

His head raised slowly. “Me?”

“Come with me,” she pleaded, her voice soft. “Let’s be done with London and go.”

Her request clearly took him by surprise, his eyes going wide and his frame stilling. “You’re… you’re not leaving me?”

“Is that what you think of me, Thomas?” Her lower lip quivered, and she bit down hard, for once not aiming to distract him with the action. “If I did not leave you in the first five years we were married, I’ll not leave you in the next five. I’m leaving London, Thomas. And everything that London has done to me in the few days.”

“You mean what I have done,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “What I have done to you in London.”

Lily let the words hang upon the air, not able to refute them, but unwilling to admit them, either.

“A cotton mill was destroyed by fire,” he said, dropping his hand and putting it at