Apocalypse: Fairy System by Macronomicon (fox in socks read aloud txt) 📕

retract his statement. Since he’d already refused to do that, he was required by law to fight.

Or be legally regarded as a sissy for the rest of my life? I could live with that.

“What’s the legal punishment for refusing the duel, anyway?”

“A week of hard labor and a stiff fine for flouting the law.”

“Can that be served whenever?”

“Effective immediately.”

“Damnit.”

Jeb needed to catch the judge’s compatriots now.

“As the challenged party, you have first rights to choose either the weapon or the location you will use to duel. For Myst users such as yourself, it is customary to choose Myst. It is also customary to choose the steps of the court, where we currently are, to make transportation and removing the loser’s corpse easier.”

“I get to choose the weapon?” Jeb muttered to himself, ideas beginning to flutter to the surface in his head. He glanced at the judge, who was slipping out of his ceremonial judge robe and into his ceremonial ass-kicking robe, which looked something like a gi made out of silk.

“Yes,” the aged keegan said, blinking his rheumy eyes.

“What about the trial?”

“It has been deemed a mistrial. There is precedent where a judge has challenged the defendant to a duel before. The inquiry is suspended until an impartial judge can be found. A week, perhaps. Until then, you are forbidden from leaving Solmnath on pain of death.”

“Excellent.” So all he had to do was get this fight to the death over with ASAP, then he was free to get back to his job.

And honestly, killing this guy was part of his job, too.

Although… Jeb eyed the other guy sending crackling streams of enervating energy between his palms. Making this a fair Myst fight probably isn’t a good idea.

Jeb's foot problem meant a fistfight was a bad idea, too. He was slower, weaker, dumber, had less Myst… Hell, Jeb even had about a foot less reach. He was screwed on size alone.

This could be a problem.

Alright, think. What do I have over this guy? I have telekinesis, and he doesn’t. No, if I choose a weapon and use telekinesis on it, he’ll just use his kill-beam on me. Physical weapons are out. What the fuck am I supposed to beat this guy with?

He needed a way out right now, but he couldn’t possibly win the fight, they wouldn’t let him retract his statement now, and forfeiting the duel wasn’t an option either.

Maybe I can declare that the weapons shall be peglegs, Jeb thought with a bit of wry humor. When he gets close to bash me with his leg, I can shoot him with mine. Should’ve got a better pegleg, buddy.

Jeb shook his head, dismissing the idea.

“Jeb!” Smartass’s tiny voice attracted his attention as she flitted directly in front of his face. “It’s going down!”

“What is that!?” the judge demanded, pointing a boney finger at them. “He consorts with fairies!”

“Eat a dick, child-killer,” Jeb said with a shrug. He was relieved when all his power didn’t leave him for telling a lie. Jeb had been stretching out on a limb there, but some people deserved to be called out. “What’s going down, Smartass?”

“Ron found a big group of kids still alive, in the castle near the coast, four blocks thataway.” She pointed toward the evening sun that lit up her candy-bar clothes.

“Excellent!” Jeb brightened.

“Not excellent. The trafficker is trying to kill them right now!” Smartass said.

“Well, what are Zlesk and Colt doing!?”

“They got caught up in a three-way battle with this crazy lady and her henchmen when they arrived!”

Shit, I need to leave, right now….

“Fairies are the epitome of conniving maliciousness. So much makes sense to me now, Jebediah Trapper. Your deal was a cleverly baited trap, wasn’t it? Humans have a great deal in common with the vermin, after all.”

“You’re not wrong, child-killer.”

The surrounding keegan officials glanced at each other, whispering under their breath while glancing at the child-killer.

“Stop calling me that!” the child-killer bellowed.

“I wouldn’t be doing it if it weren’t true,” Jeb said with a shrug. “Anyway, I’ve decided on a location for our duel.”

“Good, I can’t wait to get this over with,” Elkor said, rolling his shoulders.

“There’s a castle near the coast about four blocks thataway! Let’s take the duel there!” Jeb said cheerily, pointing in the direction Smartass had indicated.

“NO!” the judge roared, pointing a finger at Smartass, an ocean of roiling green energy pouring out of him.

In a moment of stupidity, Jeb snatched the fairy out of the air with his wounded arm and put himself between her and the beam.

Jeb’s vision went black.

…

Jeb’s eyes opened, giving him an excellent view of the cobblestones his face was currently smushed into. His head pounded, eyes gummy, body weak, mimicking the worst hangover he’d ever had. Something small wriggled against his hands.

“Get off me, you pathetic breek!” Jeb heard the child-killer shout, slowly fading into full focus.

“Ugh, how long was I out?” Jeb muttered, sitting up and glancing over his shoulder. The nearby witnesses were restraining the judge, who was glaring at Jeb with a face that radiated pure hatred…and a little bit of fear.

Must not have been long, Jeb thought, groaning as he pushed himself to his feet.

Smartass gave an exaggerated gasp as he let go of her.

“You brute, you nearly crushed me!” she said, pinching the skin between thumb and forefinger. “You’re lucky we fairies have squishy bones for fitting into tight spots.” Jeb ignored her, refocusing on the situation at hand.

Children to rescue, people to kill.

“Whose castle is that?” Jeb asked, pointing to the distant silhouette in the fading light of the sun, resting near the coast.

“That is the home of Kebos O’sut. A local scholar...of some wealth.” The wrinkled officiator of the duel