Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

in her life, Joanna understood what a potent drink power could be. And she realized, too, that she'd not known herself a well as she once thought, that she was not so lacking in ambition, afte all. It seemed that she was Eleanor of Aquitaine's granddaughter in more ways than one, a thought that gave her amusement and astonish ment in equal measure.But these pleasures were of fleeting moment, fireflies in the dark The summer that followed her marriage was the most miserable of her life. Unable to speakLlewelyn's language, she felt herself an isolated island in a sea of Welsh.Since she had no duties to perform, her days were unstructured, endless. She was not blind to the beauty around her. Aber fronted on the sea, offering spectacular views of the Eryri Mountains. But at night she lay awake, longing for the sounds of the city, shivering at the distant howling of a wolf pack on the prowl. London, York, and Winchester seemed as far away as Jerusalem. Her husband's domain held neither towns nor cities. No fairs or markets. It was, to Joanna, a wild and awesome land, and she knew that Gruffydd was not alone in thinking her an intruder.She was desperately homesick in those first weeks. Her yearning for her loved ones, for what was known and familiar to her, was a constant, unrelenting ache. She so wanted to go home, and knew that what she most wanted was now forever denied her.The worst of her loneliness was that she did not feel connected to any other living soul. Her father and Isabelle were in Gascony. So, too, were Richard and her Uncle Will. Blanche, never a comfort even in the best of times, had become all but insufferable; she hated Wales, looked askance at the Welsh, drove Joanna to distraction with her whining, her constant complaints. Enid'sFrench was inadequate for more than the most rudimentary conversation. Most of the women at Llewelyn's court spoke no French at all. One of the few who did was the Lady Gwenllian, wife to Llewelyn's friend Ednyved ap Cynwrig. ButGwenllian offered no friendship; even her courtesy seemed grudgingly given.Nor did Joanna have any better luck with the men. For a time she'd hoped to find an ally in her husband's brother. But Adda did not encourage her overtures. Aloof and reserved, he went his own way; only with Llewelyn did he thaw, let his defenses down. Ednyved, Joanna avoided if possible. She realized his sarcasm was not meant to be spi'e ful, but all her life she'd been wary of sardonic tongues. Rhys ap CadeH» her husband's other intimate friend, was rarely at court that summer<

203fe was in the last stages of a troublesome pregnancy, and Rhys frs d upon his own estates, awaiting Catrm's time Men like Morgan S Bleddyn, Llewelyn's chaplain, and Gwyn ab Ednywam, his Sene-aP i were well into their forties, had little in common with a girl of gcn^ 'fourteenAs for her stepchildren, all of Joanna's fears had come to pass Grufdd was not to be won over Every smile Llewelyn bestowed upon her, rmffydd begrudged Each time he heard her addressed as "Madame" "Your Grace," his face shadowedGwladys, the most devoted of disoles, loyally followed her brother's lead, and between them they effectively curbed any conciliatory inclinations thatMarared or Gwenlhan mieht have harbored To Joanna, this was the most bitter disappointment of allPerversely enough, that which she had most reason to be thankful for Llewelyn's solicitudewas yet another source of anxiety Because he was so very good to her, she despised herself all the more for her discontent Each time she thought of the French Queen Ingeborg, thought of the wives who'd have bartered their very souls for a husband like hers, she felt an utter mgrate When compared to women who were beaten for trifles, treated as chattels, used only as brood mares, what had she to complain of, in truth7Isabelle had been right, many women would indeed envy herNot that Llewelyn was without flaws In fact, the qualities she most admired in him, his easy self-assurance and his intelligence, were virtues with the potential to become vices His self-assurance was occasionally flavored with arrogance, and like many quick-witted people, he was often impatient when others were slow to follow the swiftness of his thought^ He had a tendency to lose sight of the immediate in pursuit of the long-range goal And his ambition was frightening to Joanna For if her father aimed to prevent a Welsh-French alliance, Llewelyn had aims of his own He saw their marriage as a way to keepJohn out of Wales, enabling him to deal with his old enemy, Gwenwynwyn ofPowys But Joanna did not think her father would give Llewelyn the free hand inWales that he seemed to expect She remembered all too well her father's remark upon the day of her betrothal, that Llewelyn needed to be reined in " She could imagine nothing worse than conflict between the wo, to find herself torn between her husband, to whom she owed her 'oyalty, and her father, to whom she owed her loveBut Llewelyn's faults seemed of little consequence when she nought back to Chester's aloof moodmess or William de Braose's suave natality And in the three months of her marriage, Joanna had found uch m him to admire For all that he expectedand gotprompt obe-lence' he was not arbitrary, and he was rarely unfair Once, when he'd

204flared up at his clerk, Hwfa ap Pilthe, in an unjustified public rebut he'd later sought Hwfa out and offered apology; Joanna could n 1 remember her father ever apologizing to anyone for anything, g Llewelyn was much more easygoing than her father. He was quick t laugh, even at himself, had been amused, not affronted, when Joann could not resist teasing that she wished she could be as sure of one thin as he was of all things. And he was unfailingly kind to