The Bookshop of Second Chances by Jackie Fraser (best life changing books .TXT) 📕

had, I’d be married now, I expect, and probably quite content. Because I think I might have an enormous, untapped capacity for contentment.’ He laughs. ‘If you’d told me a year ago I’d be saying that, I’d have thought you were mad. But it’s true.’

‘I’m not special though,’ I say. ‘Why is it different?’

‘You’re special to me. I know what you mean. Probably you’re just like loads of people, not unusual. But I think you’re great. I can’t imagine getting bored with this, with you. I love working with you. I love you. I’ve missed you so much this week. It’s unreasonable. I’ve fallen hard.’

‘You have, and that worries me too.’

‘I think perhaps you shouldn’t worry. You’re right when you say no one knows what will happen next, that we can’t predict anything, and you’re probably right about promises. But here we both are. I lay my heart at your feet.’

I frown at him, troubled by this.

‘You needn’t pick it up if you don’t want to,’ he says, serious. ‘If you don’t think you can believe me–’

‘It’s not that. I do believe you.’

‘You do?’

I take a deep breath. ‘Yes.’

Twenty-Five

We’ve been together nearly a month before I tell anyone other than Xanthe. I come out of the shop after hours, off to the Co-op for milk, when I bump into Alastair walking the dogs. It’s about half past seven, and cold, an icy fog making the high street look mysterious. The moisture in the air runs down the windows and drips around us.

‘Got you working late tonight,’ he says.

‘Oh, er, not really.’

‘Not really?’

It’s lucky it’s dark; I’m hoping he can’t see me blushing in the orange light from the streetlights.

‘No, I–’

‘Thought I saw you yesterday, as well,’ he says. ‘On a Sunday?’

‘Yeah, okay,’ I say, ‘I guess it’s not a secret.’

He grins at me. ‘Jenny was right then.’

‘Why, what did she say?’

‘I won’t tell you exactly what she said. But she implied that you and Edward had, er, grown closer.’

I snort. ‘Oh, did she?’

‘She did. So. You know I’m not Edward’s biggest fan…’

I sigh. ‘No one is, are they? Well. Me, I suppose. I am.’ I shuffle, embarrassed.

He laughs. ‘But if you like him, good for you. He was in a fantastic mood when I saw him on Saturday – I suppose this explains it.’

I’m even more embarrassed. ‘Was he?’

‘Like the morning after a bad storm, all sunshine and clean pavements. Make sure he treats you kindly.’

‘He always has done, so far. You know I don’t mind the way he is.’

‘No, Jenny said it doesn’t seem to bother you.’ He shakes his head. ‘Very odd. But good for everyone, if he’s more cheerful. So bring him on Wednesday.’

‘Are you sure? I didn’t want to ask. I know you don’t like him.’

‘I expect I’ll like him better now. So bring him. Jilly and Cerys are coming too.’

‘Okay,’ I nod. ‘I’ll ask him. I don’t know what he thinks about dinner at other people’s houses.’

In the Co-op, buying milk and looking at the sad remains of the bakery shelf to see if there might be a cake, I try to imagine having dinner at Alastair and Jenny’s with Edward. A perfectly normal thing to do, just as though we were a perfectly normal couple, which I suppose we are.

Jenny says, ‘Are you bringing Edward, then, tomorrow?’

I nod. ‘He was thrilled to be asked,’ I say, and we both laugh because it’s patently untrue.

‘You really do like him then?’ she says, curious.

‘I do.’

‘Better than Charles?’

‘Oh God, yes. I don’t like Charles. Well, that’s unfair, he’s okay.’ I wrinkle my nose. ‘He’s always been perfectly nice to me. But I like Edward a lot more. Yes.’

‘It seems odd to me. But it’s none of my business.’

‘Sadly, there’s only one Alastair,’ I tease her, ‘and he’s already spoken for.’

‘Oh aye, well. Sorry about that.’ She hesitates. ‘He’s kind to you, though, is he?’

‘Of course.’ I’m surprised. ‘I wouldn’t bother otherwise. I mean…’ I pause, unsure of how far to go into this. I like Jenny, she’s probably my best friend here. ‘Chris was kind to me, before he left. I’m not interested in people who are unpleasant.’

‘Oh, don’t be offended. I didn’t mean that you were. Sorry.’

‘No, it’s okay. I know it doesn’t seem like that long, since Chris and I split up, and–’

‘It was a good while before you came up here though, wasn’t it?’

I nod. ‘January.’

‘That’s nearly a year. Even after a very long relationship, I don’t think you’re, you know, on the rebound. Anyway, you seem quite sensible.’

‘I am, usually,’ I agree.

She looks at me, thoughtful. ‘Do you think you’re not being sensible about Edward?’

‘I think I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone. So it was unexpected. And he’s…’ I’m not sure what to say, unwilling to expose him too much to the curiosity of his neighbours. ‘He’s very… keen.’

‘Yes.’ She nods. ‘He told Cerys he’d never really been in love before.’

‘Oh my God. Did he?’ I’m both horrified and delighted by this.

‘Yeah. So. I guess that’s quite impressive.’

‘Well, I have been in love before. More than once. But I like him a lot.’

‘Hello, love, how are you?’ My mother peers at me from the computer screen. ‘Still in Scotland?’

I usually Skype from the shop because I got into the habit before there was broadband at the Lodge. I’m upstairs today though, in Edward’s sitting room.

‘Yes.’

‘How’s the weather?’

I glance out of the window at the grey sky. ‘Wintery.’

‘Wet?’

‘Not today. Or at least not at the moment.’

‘It’s cold here,’ she says, ‘I was surprised.’ They’re in Wyoming now, staying with one of her old school friends, who emigrated to the States before I was born. They’re having a marvellous time despite the cold: everyone’s friendly, the scenery amazing, mountains and forest and actual buffalo. Snow. Horses and barns and so on. It does sound fabulous.

‘So where are you? That doesn’t look like the shop,’ she says.

‘Oh, no, this is upstairs, in the flat. Look.’ I pick up