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missing, and of course Nobody knew

anything about it. Sometimes one would go unexpectedly to a `jobโ€™ and

find a lot of them drunk. Of course one tried to cope with these

evils by means of rules and restrictions and organization, but it was

very difficult - one could not be everywhere or have eyes at the back

of oneโ€™s head. The gentleman said that he had some idea of what it

was like: he had had something to do with the lower orders himself at

one time and another, and he knew they needed a lot of watching.

 

Rushton felt rather sick over this affair, but he consoled himself by

reflecting that he had got clear away with several valuable rose trees

and other plants which he had stolen out of the garden, and that a

ladder which had been discovered in the hayloft over the stable and

taken - by his instructions - to the `yardโ€™ when the `jobโ€™ was

finished had not been missed.

 

Another circumstance which helped to compensate for the blinds was

that the brass fittings throughout the house, finger-plates,

sash-lifts and locks, bolts and door handles, which were supposed to

be all new and which the customer had paid a good price for - were

really all the old ones which Misery had had relacquered and refixed.

 

There was nothing unusual about this affair of the blinds, for Rushton

and Misery robbed everybody. They made a practice of annexing every

thing they could lay their hands upon, provided it could be done

without danger to themselves. They never did anything of a heroic or

dare-devil character: they had not the courage to break into banks or

jewellersโ€™ shops in the middle of the night, or to go out picking

pockets: all their robberies were of the sneak-thief order.

 

At one house that they `did upโ€™ Misery made a big haul. He had to get

up into the loft under the roof to see what was the matter with the

water tank. When he got up there he found a very fine hall gas lamp

made of wrought brass and copper with stained and painted glass sides.

Although covered with dust, it was otherwise in perfect condition, so

Misery had it taken to his own house and cleaned up and fixed in the

hail.

 

In the same loft there were a lot of old brass picture rods and other

fittings, and three very good planks, each about ten feet in length;

these latter had been placed across the rafters so that one could walk

easily and safely over to the tank. But Misery thought they would be

very useful to the firm for whitewashing ceilings and other work, so

he had them taken to the yard along with the old brass, which was

worth about fourpence a pound.

 

There was another house that had to be painted inside: the people who

used to live there had only just left: they had moved to some other

town, and the house had been re-let before they vacated it. The new

tenant had agreed with the agent that the house was to be renovated

throughout before he took possession.

 

The day after the old tenants moved away, the agent gave Rushton the

key so that he could go to see what was to be done and give an

estimate for the work.

 

While Rushton and Misery were looking over the house they discovered a

large barometer hanging on the wall behind the front door: it had been

overlooked by those who removed the furniture. Before returning the

key to the agent, Rushton sent one of his men to the house for the

barometer, which he kept in his office for a few weeks to see if there

would be any inquiries about it. If there had been, it would have

been easy to say that he had brought it there for safety - to take

care of till he could find the owner. The people to whom it belonged

thought the thing had been lost or stolen in transit, and afterwards

one of the workmen who had assisted to pack and remove the furniture

was dismissed from his employment on suspicion of having had something

to do with its disappearance. No one ever thought of Rushton in

connection with the matter, so after about a month he had it taken to

his own dwelling and hung up in the hall near the carved oak

marble-topped console table that he had sneaked last summer from 596

Grand Parade.

 

And there it hangs unto this day: and close behind it, supported by

cords of crimson silk, is a beautiful bevelled-edged card about a foot

square, and upon this card is written, in letters of gold: `Christ is

the head of this house; the unseen Guest at every meal, the silent

Listener to every conversation.โ€™

 

And on the other side of the barometer is another card of the same

kind and size which says: `As for me and my house we will serve the

Lord.โ€™

 

From another place they stole two large brass chandeliers. This house

had been empty for a very long time, and its owner - who did not

reside in the town - wished to sell it. The agent, to improve the

chances of a sale, decided to have the house overhauled and

redecorated. Rushton & Co.โ€˜s tender being the lowest, they got the

work. The chandeliers in the drawing-room and the dining-room were of

massive brass, but they were all blackened and tarnished. Misery

suggested to the agent that they could be cleaned and relacquered,

which would make them equal to new: in fact, they would be better than

new ones, for such things as these were not made now, and for once

Misery was telling the truth. The agent agreed and the work was done:

it was an extra, of course, and as the firm got twice as much for the

job as they paid for having it done, they were almost satisfied.

 

When this and all the other work was finished they sent in their

account and were paid.

 

Some months afterwards the house was sold, and Nimrod interviewed the

new proprietor with the object of securing the order for any work that

he might want done. He was successful. The papers on the walls of

several of the rooms were not to the new ownerโ€™s taste, and, of

course, the woodwork would have to be repainted to harmonize with the

new paper. There was a lot of other work besides this: a new

conservatory to build, a more modern bath and heating apparatus to be

put in, and the electric light to be installed, the new people having

an objection to the use of gas.

 

The specifications were prepared by an architect, and Rushton secured

the work. When the chandeliers were taken down, the men, instructed

by Misery, put them on a handcart, and covered them over with sacks

and dust-sheets and took them to the front shop, where they were

placed for sale with the other stock.

 

When all the work at the house was finished, it occurred to Rushton

and Nimrod that when the architect came to examine and pass the work

before giving them the certificate that would enable them to present

their account, he might remember the chandeliers and inquire what had

become of them. So they were again placed on the handcart, covered

with sacks and dust-sheets, taken back to the house and put up in the

loft under the roof so that, if he asked for them, there they were.

 

The architect came, looked ever the house, passed the work, and gave

his certificate; he never mentioned or thought of the chandeliers.

The owner of the house was present and asked for Rushtonโ€™s bill, for

which he at once gave them a cheque and Rushton and Misery almost

grovelled and wallowed on the ground before him. Throughout the whole

interview the architect and the `gentlemanโ€™ had kept their hats on,

but Rushton and Nimrod had been respectfully uncovered all the time,

and as they followed the other two about the house their bearing had

been expressive of the most abject servility.

 

When the architect and the owner were gone the two chandeliers were

taken down again from under the roof, and put upon a handcart, covered

over with sacks and dust-sheets and taken back to the shop and again

placed for sale with the other stock.

 

These are only a few of the petty thefts committed by these people.

To give anything approaching a full account of all the rest would

require a separate volume.

 

As a result of all the hurrying and scamping, every now and again the

men found that they had worked themselves out of a job.

 

Several times during the summer the firm had scarcely anything to do,

and nearly everybody had to stand off for a few days or weeks.

 

When Newman got his first start in the early part of the year he had

only been working for about a fortnight when - with several others -

he was `stood offโ€™. Fortunately, however, the day after he left

Rushtons, he was lucky enough to get a start for another firm, Driver

and Botchit, where he worked for nearly a month, and then he was again

given a job at Rushtonโ€™s, who happened to be busy again.

 

He did not have to lose much time, for he `finished upโ€™ for Driver and

Botchit on a Thursday night and on the Friday he interviewed Misery,

who told him they were about to commence a fresh `jabโ€™ on the

following Monday morning at six oโ€™clock, and that he could start with

them. So this time Newman was only out of work the Friday and

Saturday, which was another stroke of luck, because it often happens

that a man has to lose a week or more after `finishing upโ€™ for one

firm before he gets another `jobโ€™.

 

All through the summer Crass continued to be the general `colourmanโ€™,

most of his time being spent at the shop mixing up colours for all the

different `jobsโ€™. He also acted as a sort of lieutenant to Hunter,

who, as the reader has already been informed, was not a practical

painter. When there was a price to be given for some painting work,

Misery sometimes took Crass with him to look over it and help him to

estimate the amount of time and material it would take. Crass was

thus in a position of more than ordinary importance, not only being

superior to the `handsโ€™, but also ranking above the other sub-foremen

who had charge of the `jobsโ€™.

 

It was Crass and these sub-foremen who were to blame for most of the

scamping and driving, because if it had not been for them neither

Rushton nor Hunter would have known how to scheme the work.

 

Of course, Hunter and Rushton wanted to drive and scamp, but not being

practical men they would not have known how if it had not been for

Crass and the others, who put them up to all the tricks of the trade.

 

Crass knew that when the men stayed till half past seven they were in

the habit of ceasing work for a few minutes to eat a mouthful of grub

about six oโ€™clock, so he suggested to Misery that as it was not

possible to stop this, it would be a good plan to make the men stop

work altogether from half past five till six, and lose half an hourโ€™s

pay; and to make up the time, instead of leaving off at seven-thirty,

they could work till eight.

 

Misery had known of and winked at the former practice, for he knew

that the men could

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